Author’s Note: This is the first ever story that I wrote, it is a true story with added fiction. It actually originated from the Twice Amino app. I was in a group chat called ‘Shy Shy Shy’. I was in that chat for about a year chatting with random people and fans of Twice. One night, one of the people in the chatroom was expressing to us about their life and the struggles they were going through. After listening to them share their story, I decided to share this story more in the way of a bedtime story. The version that I shared in TA was the rough draft of this story. It didn’t contain as much detail and emotion as the final version. The true story aspect of this piece is components of my life that I incorporated. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this piece!
30 Minutes Read
To his brother, “Come get me now.” His brother replies, “I can’t, I have a meeting to go to.” “Screw the damn meeting, you told me you would get me later, this is later. Now come get me!” Nelson yelled into his phone. “Call Dad and tell him to pick you up.” Then his brother hangs up. The boy gives up and doesn’t call his father. He stands out in the cold hoping that his brother wouldn’t leave him waiting too long.
“Even if I called Dad, he wouldn’t come get me. Doesn’t my brother realize that we only have one car!?” Time passes. It’s cold, dark, and loud but surprisingly, the night is silent as well. “Where is he?” He looks at his phone and sees it is 8:00 PM. 8:30 PM goes by, 9:30 PM goes by, 10:00 PM. “He’s not coming to get me…” Eyes of death stare at him from far away, he stands there patiently waiting to pounce on the prey. The boy looks at his phone “4 miles away.” Coming to terms that his brother will not come to get him. He begins to walk home. Death follows closely behind him.
“I’m left for dead…” He whispers to himself as he continues his journey home. Death still follows the boy getting more excited with each passing second. “He left me, he CHOSE to leave me… Why do people think he is so great?! He is not my brother, we are too different, and we fight too much. He does not care about me. We do not have that brotherly bond like most people have!” The boy angrily says to himself. Tears began to flow from his eyes and he stopped, frozen due to his emotions. Death takes this opportunity and slowly creeps up right behind him. The boy felt death’s hand on his shoulders, he heard the sound of a knife being unsheathed from death’s belt. The knife was brought up right next to his neck.
Time froze with the boy staring up at the teary night sky. In this moment he thought about all his past mistakes, his regrets, his wishes, his pleads, and his aspirations. At this moment, he saw future versions of ghosts that resembled himself appear coming down towards him. The ghosts were angry and mad at him that he would allow something so insignificant to affect him.
Everything the boy had experienced in life, the ghosts were enraged that this little incident was what brought down their savior. They were enraged that they came to him and he was throwing them away because he was the one going to bring them life and utilize them to their fullest potential. Time resumes, and Nelson closes his eyes and braces for the incoming knife wound. Nothing happens.
Death retreats before Nelson opens his eyes. Nelson looks around and finds death is nowhere to be found. He checks himself, nothing is gone and he still has everything. He was not stabbed by the knife that death had with him. Nelson continues to cry. “If I were to die tonight, no one would care. No one will know. What is the point of living this life?! This life where weakness is only present and the storm never passes…” Nelson asked himself.
Nelson looks at his phone, it is now 11:00 PM. “I will cut through the park and save some time.” Nelson stops by the pool and admires the giant pool in the park. “The pool in the park appears calm and peaceful.” Death reappears and stares at Nelson some more with those dark, cold, and hungry eyes. Nelson continues to think about his brother, his life, about dying and tears flood his eyes again. A thought comes to his mind. “Maybe, I should drown myself and end this wretched life.”
Nelson slowly walks towards the pool. He stares at the 3-foot warning on the ground, and he walks along the edge of the pool. 5-feet, 6-feet, 7-feet. “This is deep enough.” He told himself. Death stares with a blank face, not believing what he is seeing. Nelson looks at his phone and says quietly “I love you. Tonight, this is how my story ends.” As he stares at the still water, he notices something in the water. The future ghosts have returned, and they slowly begin to wrench him into the water as vengeance upon him.
Before he hits the water, the last thing he hears is an item dropping on the ground. Surprisingly, inside the pool, it felt nice. It is silent, calm, and dark with the water engulfing him. It is as if he entered another world. Somehow, being in the water feels like a mother’s embrace. A feeling he never truly had felt. The voices of the ghosts surround him and eventually, their voices overlap, and it becomes silent as they drown out each other. Nelson felt his body become lifeless and numb. He decided he needed to sleep and rest for a very long time. Nelson closes his eyes and accepts the opportunity to rest and he dreams.
(Insides Nelson’s dream) “Where am I?” Nelson was standing next to a Dutch Bros shop. He was looking around confused about why he was brought to Dutch Bros when he saw a dream version of himself driving away from Dutch Bros. He followed the car back to his school. Dream Nelson was surrounded by his friends whom he called ‘brothers’. “I miss my brothers, they brought me joy and love during a time when I couldn’t love myself,” Nelson said as he watched his dream self smiling and laughing with his brothers. “Well Nelson, it’s time, are you ready?” Ausen asked. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, what is the worst that can happen? She says no?” said Nelson. “Well, do you have a backup plan at least?” Divan asked.
“Nope, I’m just gonna go in there and do my best and hope she says yes,” Nelson said with a smile. “I got a text from Cis. It said that she is in class today. Let’s go!” said Dream Nelson. “What is going on? More importantly, who is ‘she’ that they are talking about?” said a confused Nelson looking from far away. He followed them to the classroom. “Wait… I know this classroom. Why did I bring Dutch Bros to class with my brothers?” Nelson said confusingly.
Since it was a dream, he walked into the classroom and sat down in the seat with the best view to see what was going to happen. Dream Nelson and his brothers walked into the classroom and he went straight to the most beautiful girl in the room. Now seated, Nelson couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His eyes grew wide and he said “No way, he is not going to do what I think he’s going to do.” As Dream Nelson got closer and closer to her, seated Nelson realized who the girl was.
Her name was Bekah.
“Bekah!?” said Nelson in awe. She was beautiful, but not like those girls you see on your Instagram feeds. She was beautiful in the way she thought and how she worried about others first. She was beautiful for her ability to make other people smile even during times when she was sad. The way her eyes sparkled when she talked about her passion. Her openness and honesty were refreshing. Her exterior was beautiful, however, that was temporary. That was not what I was looking for. She was beautiful, deep down in her soul. She was an HSP, just like me.
With a pounding heart and full hands, Dream Nelson asked her “Will you go to prom with me?” Bekah looked dumbstruck for a split second until her gaze took her eyes to what the top of the drink said. ‘Prom?’ She looked into Dream Nelson’s eyes and with the voice of an angel, she said one magical word. “Yes.” And the room exploded with claps, awes, and cheers.
Nelson saw Dream Nelson’s smile with Bekah in his embrace and he thought to himself, “I asked Bekah Rice to prom?! And she said yes to me? Me…? A person of so many misfortunes and to be this lucky for her to say yes. Wow, that’s amazing… No, don’t give me hope. Don’t show me this happiness only for it to be ripped from me and destroyed. Haven’t you already hurt me enough?” Nelson understood what that meant. He is in the future and he is afraid to experience this future. It will hurt him and change him forever. A bright light overtook the room and blinded everyone. Once the bright light faded, sitting Nelson wasn’t inside the classroom anymore.
Nelson was in a restaurant alone with Dream Nelson, Bekah, and her parents. “I wanted to take photos of you both together before we leave. Look this way and smile please,” said Bekah’s mother. After a long photo shoot, Bekah’s mother was satisfied with the results. “Have a nice dinner, have fun at prom, be safe, and have her home once the dance is over,” said Bekah’s father. “Yes, sir,” said a very nervous Dream Nelson. Nelson was still sitting, and he burst out laughing at his Dream self. “At least even my Dream self is still being respectable and respectful to others.” Once Bekah’s parents left the restaurant, Dream Nelson and Bekah had their dinner.
“Sorry if you feel awkward. The guys were supposed to be here with their dates too, but something happened, and they can’t make it. But everything’s already paid for so don’t worry about paying.” Said Nelson. “Oh, are they okay? Are they hurt?” Said a worried Bekah. “They’re fine, they’ll meet up with us at Prom. That’s what Ausen told me” said the older Nelson. “I have a question for you,” said Bekah. “Sure, ask away,” Dream Nelson replied. “How did you come up with using Dutch Bros to ask me to prom?” said a curious Bekah. “Well, I asked your friends and they told me what you liked and disliked. I noticed one day when you came into class with a Dutch bros drink, so I thought it would be cool if I used it. The people at Dutch Bros actually gave it to me for free when I asked them to write prom on the cap” said Dream Nelson.
“You know, this all feels like a dream right?” Bekah told Dream Nelson. “It does, so I ask that you don’t wake me up from this dream. As it is the only thing I have left of you. And once I wake up, this happy ending will disappear… and you with it.” Dream Nelson said sadly. Nelson smiled, and tears began to fall from his eyes. His Dream self with Bekah, together they looked like the perfect couple. What happened next shocked Nelson.
The restaurant exploded and the whole building was destroyed.
Time passes, and Nelson doesn’t wake up from being in the water. Death starts to get anxious. His curiosity about what happened to Nelson made Death jump into the pool. Nelson is lying on the ground at the bottom of the pool motionless. Death swims to the bottom of the pool towards Nelson and drags him out of the pool. Death throws Nelson on the ground, Nelson is motionless and continues to be asleep. Death places his head on top of Nelson’s chest and he listens for a heartbeat. At first, Death heard nothing which made Death’s eyes grow big and he began to feel excited and he smiled. However, his smile slowly faded, and he became blank again because Death heard the faintest heartbeat from Nelson.
“It looks like it’s not your time yet.” He raised his arm high and made his hand into a fist. With all his might, he brought down his fist straight onto Nelson’s chest. Nelson vomits up a large amount of water and wakes up. Nelson hungrily grasps for air and inhales deeply trying to regain his composure. He is dumbfounded by what happened. What happened to his Dream self and Bekah? Then something clicked in his head, his chest hurt… his eyes widened. Death’s punch to his chest toward his heart was the explosion in his dream. He needed something to shake him enough to wake him up. Once Nelson recovered he ran home, and Death followed him.
Nelson ran until he could not run anymore, he stopped and kneeled. Death catches up to Nelson. Nelson turns to Death and speaks. “Why? Why did you pull me out? I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time sleeping, and it was both happy and sad for me. It was almost like a reverse nightmare. Like when you wake up from a nightmare, “You’re so relieved.” But for me! You woke me back up into my nightmare! I’ve given up on life, I was finally able to let everything go and lay everything to rest! All those that I’ve trusted have betrayed me! All those that I loved and trusted have forsaken me. There’s nothing left for me to live for! I had enough of this world and even if I end my life, it doesn’t matter to the world! What right do you have to pull me out? What fucking right did you have! It’s not your choice! It’s mine! It’s my life! Since you won’t let me die by myself then, you must be the one to kill me! Kill me!
Take my life and relieve me of all the pain I endured in this shitty life! Please, I beg of you…”
Death looks at Nelson and becomes serious. “Why are you so impatient? Death hands him Nelson’s phone and wallet. “You dropped this. You’re only 17, you still have a whole life ahead of you. I know that you’ve experienced a lot of hardships growing up. Some have it harder than you do, and some will never experience what you’ve experienced. You must live and share with others your stories. All the pain and hardships you have endured will make you become someone’s strength. Keep living on with your life, and live with the strong belief that the future will be better than what it is now. I pulled you out because it isn’t your time to leave yet, others are still counting on you. There are still many people you need to enlighten and spread the impact of your voice and love to. You’ve yet to leave your mark in this wretched world. And if you really do want to die and leave everything behind then, go ahead after you have done everything you wanted to do.
Just know that I won’t be there next time. Next time will be the real deal and you won’t be able to take anything back. Next time, I will take you with me, when we see each other then, I know you tell me that you wished to have lived longer. With that said, go and live your life, but I want you to keep it in mind. No one notices your tears, your sadness, nor your pain, but they all will notice your mistakes.” It doesn’t matter how many accomplishments you have, you make one mistake and they will all turn on you. So, live life and always be strong, even in your darkest hour, never falter.
I will provide you with the will and energy to accomplish your goals.”
Nelson suddenly got furious. He turned towards Death “You know my pain? You may know my pain, but you weren’t the one who experienced it! Have you experienced going to bed hungry?! Not because you chose to but because you’re forced to! Knowing that if I ate dinner those nights, I wouldn’t have a meal for breakfast! Have you ever felt guilty about being happy when everyone else in your family was sad?! Have you felt the pain of being betrayed and losing the trust of everyone close to you?! Don’t you dare fucking talk about pain when all you do is take things away and cause misery for everyone!”
After listening to Nelson’s speech and giving his answer and message to Nelson, Death fades away. Nelson looks at his phone, “It’s 12:00 AM already? During all this time, no one even called or texted me. Who else will I ever meet that will call me at this time?” Nelson continues his journey home. A night breeze blows past him, and he shivers due to the coldness of the water. “I always hated the cold. I hate everything about it. The weakness it makes me feel as my body parts become numb and the terrible rain that follows.” Nelson looks at his phone, “2 miles left.” He sees a bench in the distance.
“I’ll rest a bit before going home.” Slowly, Nelson approached the bench. “This doesn’t look right. I don’t remember seeing this bench before in my life. Maybe the park added some extra benches?” Nelson sits on the bench to rest a bit. His eyes feel heavy and he fights to keep them open, but he eventually loses and decides to close them for a second… Or two.
As Nelson was sleeping, something touched his shoulder. Nelson doesn’t react nor does he move. “Wake up, you shouldn’t sleep here. You’ll get a cold.” Said the stranger. Nelson slowly wakes up and looks up to his right. The figure was standing in front of the light pole and Nelson could only see their silhouette. “Mom?” The figure shifts to the side and Nelson sees that it’s not his mother. “Why would I think that she’s mom? It’s not her, she’s somewhere else. She doesn’t even care about me, why would she be here? Maybe I’m going crazy.” Nelson said to himself.
“Don’t sleep here, you’ll catch a cold.” the stranger said again. For Nelson, those words meant something special to him. Tears began to uncontrollably fall down the boy’s face and he began to weep. Somehow the stranger wasn’t surprised, she just stood there and waited till the boy finished weeping. “Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong? I apologize if I did, I didn’t mean no harm.” Nelson finished weeping and mustered the energy to reply back. “You didn’t say anything wrong nor did you do anything wrong. It’s just that you are the first person today who has asked me how I am. Because I don’t like to show my emotions, I keep it inside myself and bottle it all up so no one can ever see.
My smile, my smile is a lie, it masks all my pain and hides how I truly feel. I’m just so sick of everything in this world. I’m tired of trying to understand why I must feel this immense guilt of being weak. Why must I endure all this sorrow and sadness? Yeah, I’m smiling as if nothing bothers me. But if you really want to know how I’m feeling, I’m dying. Sometimes I wish someone would be able to see through my smile and tell me “I know you’re not okay, so please stop smiling like everything is fine.” It’s been a rough day and I feel like the whole world is against me.”
“Come here, don’t cry,” said the stranger. The stranger pulled Nelson into a hug and they embraced each other. The hug reminded Nelson about the time earlier when he was submerged in water. A hug where it melted away all his worries and made him feel protected. Like a mother’s embrace of her child. Something Nelson has never felt before. He imagines what a mother’s embrace would feel like. After a good minute, they let go of each other. Nelson wipes away his tears as he regains his composure. With tears cleared from his eyes, he now sees clearly that the stranger is a woman. She looks like she’s in her 20s. She’s casually well-dressed and doesn’t appear to be homeless. The light above the park lamp helped Nelson see the women’s features. She asks, “What are you doing out here at night?”
He replies “I was dropped off by my brother to go sing for a performance. After I finished the performance, I was waiting for my brother to come get me. But he never came. You may be asking, why don’t I call my parents? I would but my father is out getting intoxicated by everything and forgetting that he has responsibilities. I walked and walked till I got here. I’m… I’m too tired and broken thinking about my life, the reasons why it’s like this. And why must it be me that has to live this wretched life? I try to look back on my life and think of times when I did something bad or I was being bad but nothing major comes to mind. Am I suffering for the sins I committed to those three kids when I was younger? I bullied them because I couldn’t control the emotions I felt when I was at home. I regret it more and more as I grow older. Was it because I was never religious? Was it because I denounced the belief in god and that god doesn’t exist? Or, was this an already predetermined thing planned for me? No matter how genuine, authentic, and good I am in the world. I’m fated to fail no matter what?”
“Do you mind if I sit down?” The woman asked. “I don’t mind.” Said Nelson. “Aren’t you afraid of me? You don’t know if I’m dangerous or not. I could kill you right here and no one would ever know.” Said the woman. Nelson replies “I’m not afraid because you’re not even remotely close to any of my fears. The things I fear the most are much more intense than you. Fears that not even you can ever touch or comprehend. And I’m too friendly for my own good. I open too quickly to people and I’m too kind which makes it easy for me to forgive and be taken advantage of. If you were dangerous, you wouldn’t have offered to hug me. And if you were to kill me, you would’ve done it already, from past experiences and the knowledge that I know. Killers don’t announce when and who they’re going to kill. They act first and worry about the consequences after.”
“Interesting answer. You know a lot of things considering you’re so young. Why are you lost? Do you need help to find your home?” the woman asked. Nelson replies “Home? Is there such a thing anymore? And no, I don’t need help. I know how to get home. I’m 17 and I’m not a kid who doesn’t know where he lives. But am I lost? Yeah, I am. I’m at a point in my life where I am lost about where to go in my life. I don’t know anymore.
If I should continue living this life or give up on life.”
The woman asks, “Why are you broken?” “In these short 17 years I’ve lived, my trust in people who are close to me has withered down to nothing. Hell, I don’t even know if I can trust myself. All the trust I had in the world, in morals, in justice, and in life, has vanished. I keep moving and working towards a better future but the questions I have now are not if I can make it. It is, how long will I reach my destination? When something goes right for me, two other things go bad for me. It’s like no matter how much I pick myself back up and fix myself, the world just says fuck you and destroys me again and again.” Said Nelson.
“Okay. Um, why though? What caused you to feel this way? Why do you have these thoughts? If you don’t mind sharing.” Nelson chuckles and says “One day will not be enough time to explain to you why I’m like this. I have lost count of how many unfortunate things I’ve endured and witnessed in my life. Isn’t it sad when you get hurt so much that you can finally say? I’m used to it. All of those experiences have shaped me into who I am today. I still can’t believe how I’ve survived up to this point. And I’ve just experienced something so hurtful that it has clouded my thoughts and made me contemplate living life. Why are you here though?” “Well, I’m here because of the park. It’s peaceful, calm, beautiful, and quiet at night. I enjoy it very much. My son used to enjoy it also. But I don’t come here too often anymore.” Answered the women. Nelson sniffles “Excuse me for asking. Umm, how old are you?” “I’m 37. Yeah, I know I look like I’m in my 20s. Said the woman.
“37? That’s my mom’s age too. That’s weird.” Nelson told himself. “You said ‘not anymore’ earlier, about your son. Why did you say that?” Nelson asked. “You said you’re 17 years old right? That’s the same age as my son. He died when he was 17. He always acted first and worried about the consequences of his actions after. He was just, and he cared more about others than himself. He had a heart of gold, I could tell it was heavy for him to carry being like that but he carried it well. I told him to be more careful with helping others and that he shouldn’t risk his life just for anybody.
He risked his life saving a person, he saved that person two times. He saved the man, but he ended up giving up his own.
When he was younger, he would always ask me to take him here to the park. I was always working and never had time to bring him here. Magnus’ father was a police officer and he died in the line of duty. The only time I had to bring him here was at night. We would sit right here and enjoy the park together. Can I tell you something? You look like my son, Magnus.” Said the woman. Nelson’s eyes widened in shock “I look like your son?” The next words that came out of his mouth were spoken without his consent. They naturally came out. “Can I tell you something? You look like my mother.” The women’s eyes begin to water. “I know you are not Magnus, but you are just like him.” Nelson replies “And you are not my mother. But you look like her as well.” He thinks back to the hug. “No wonder it felt somewhat like a mother’s embrace,” Nelson said to himself. “Well if I look like your mother. At least I can help consult you. Why do you feel like you don’t want to live anymore?” said the woman. “Is there a name I can call you before I answer that?” Nelson asked.
“You may call me Lisa,” Lisa replies. “Okay Lisa, my life has been terrible. My whole entire life. My parents divorced when I was six months old. My brother and I were left with my father. My relatives saw us in a different light. Like we were unwanted and plagued with bad luck. Always seeing us with those cold eyes of disapproval. My father remarried when I was in kindergarten. My stepmom was more of a mom than my actual mother ever was. She took care of me, taught me, and loved me. She was my mom, I called her mom and she would call me her son.
It sounds so trivial but it meant so much to me. Then, my father and stepmom divorced as well. With it went my childhood and the only thing I knew was a mother. I felt sad and my heart ached whenever I saw other children with their mothers. Or when their mom would come to pick them up from school. But what hurt the most about not having a mother was when my teachers announced to the class about ‘Back to School Night’ and wanted to see my parents.
I would hold back the tears that would begin to surround my eyes. I would feel ashamed for not having both parents. My father became an alcoholic and indulged in drugs. He abused my brother and me. My brother and I were always fighting when we were younger. We didn’t have that brotherly bond that other siblings had with each other. My father was poor but still provided for us.
I thought there was some good left in him, that was my biggest mistake and that mistake changed my perspective on life. The friends I made. They saw me differently. They saw me as less of a human being. I worked hard in school and I became the best I could be. I reached the summit and I stayed there for as long as possible until I lost motivation and lost support. While I was at the summit, I got respect and jealousy from others.
My brother cared more about his friends than he cared about me. I relied upon him because he was my brother. Is he though? He left me for dead! Betrayed me countless times and prioritized others before me. How can your own brother do that? Why do I keep going back to him? Is it because he’s my brother? I almost died twice today! He wouldn’t give two shits about me if he was told that I had died. I truly believe that we aren’t brothers.” Nelson angrily finishes.
“There are many kids out there in the world that wished they had a brother or sister. Magnus was an only son. He wished he had a younger sibling to take care of and be a role model too. Or an older sibling to look up to. What I’m saying is that. You have a brother, no matter how bad it gets between you and your brother. YOU ARE STILL BROTHERS. You’ll never have another brother or sister ever again.
So, love him, try to understand him, and forgive him. For he is your one and only brother.” Said Lisa in a stern voice.
“Is there anything else you want to talk about?” Said Lisa in a commanding tone. “I am unlucky with love. I’m going to meet someone special this school year. She’ll be special to me but I don’t know if I’ll be special to her. She made me happy and I was grateful for the time she spent with me. I know what will happen in the future. I’ll ask her to prom. And after prom, we’ll go our separate ways. I’ll cherish the moments and memories we have together in that short time. I hope that she’ll live a long and happy life after we’ve departed from each other.” Lisa takes a moment to herself before she asks “You’ll find someone who feels the same way towards you too Nelson. And when that person walks into your life. You’ll know.” Lisa told Nelson.
Nelson checks the time on his phone “It’s 6:00 AM?! How did the time go by so fast? I’ve only been here for two hours at most.” “That’s because this is a dream, my son. You were home at 3:00 AM. You walked all by yourself to your house. You showered and went to bed crying silently. And you dreamt of me, your mother.” “Earlier when you had the dream in the water, it was a dream inside a dream.” Said, Lisa. Nelson is confused “Everything that happened to me, didn’t and never happen? Was it just all in my dream?
“Remember when I told you that Magnus died from saving someone? Earlier you were saved by a man. Those two times it was Magnus. He saved you from the thief, from drowning in the pool, and from death. Your heart may no longer be gold as it has been tainted, but I know you will still do good in the world. Now you must continue to live your life. My sweet and beautiful boy. I know I’m just a subconscious image of your mother, but I love you.” She embraces the boy one more time. As the sun is rising in his dream. Nelson’s mom slowly fades away while hugging her son. “Thank you and goodbye Mom.” In reality… He already returned home and went to bed quietly. Nelson is sleeping peacefully. Tears fell from his eyes with all the emotions he felt in his dream, and from that night he experienced. With that, he continued to sleep.
The End
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