Author’s Note: Hi, this is a written piece that I performed at my college’s event called ‘Stories From The Heart’. My inspirations for this piece are by BTS’ member Suga’s song called ‘First Love’ and the Korean Drama ‘Uncontrollably Fond’. I left some of Suga’s lyrics in this piece and I changed the parts to fit it into what I wanted my piece to portray. In the last section of this piece, I got from ‘Uncontrollably Fond’. This is not an original piece by any means. This is a piece that I combined together to share about how I viewed my Mom and Stepmom. I hope you enjoy this!
4 Minutes Read
I know someone who… was brave.
Someone who was kind and gentle as water.
Someone who was soft and light like the morning sun ray.
Someone who was warm and loving like a hug.
Someone who was amazing and unbelievable like a miracle.
Someone who dreamed and inspired like those stars far above.
Someone who was unselfish and generous.
Someone who was caring and motherly.
This person reminds me… of regret.
She reminds me of pain that is unerasable.
She reminds me of sacrifice and silent lies.
She reminds me of hatred and despair.
She reminds me of hopelessness and loneliness.
She reminds me of cruelty and endless tears.
She reminds me of the freezing cold.
She reminds me of the embarrassing heat.
She reminds me of the quiet nights.
I remember those moments when she was so much taller than me.
That woman who wasn’t privileged enough to guide me.
When I had caressed her with my small baby fingers.
I naturally thought to myself,
“I feel so nice Mom I feel so nice.”
Without you as my hope,
I was led astray.
I grabbed onto hope wherever I could find it.
But, I didn’t know that back then.
Because I was happy and content with just looking at you.
I remember back during my younger days.
When I would get asked,
“Do you miss her?”
It didn’t matter which answer I gave.
They were both wrong.
I neglected you now when I once yearned for you so much.
Your image has been neglected.
No matter where I am.
You always gave me strength.
But I didn’t know that it would be for the last time.
I remember back in my storming teen days
when I met you for the first time when I was 16.
That moment when I saw you.
Immediately, I knew who you were.
The awkwardness before we embraced
was only for a moment.
Without repulsion or hesitation… you accepted me.
We laughed and we cried for all of those 16 years apart.
Those days with you, those moments are now in distant memories.
I said to myself “I really can’t do this anymore.”
and every time I wanted to give up.
I imagined those words you might have said to me.
“Don’t worry, you can really do it.”
I remember back then when I was fed up and lost.
Back then when I fell into the bottomless forlorn pit.
Even when I pushed you away, even when I resented meeting you.
Something inside me told me to forgive and forget you.
Because you were my First Love.
In my infant’s voice,
I was screaming “Don’t leave like this!”
Your eyes gazed back at me,
I imagine they told me.
“Even if I leave. You’ll do well on your own. I remember when I first met you. You were so small and fragile then. Before I knew it, you grew up taller than me. This will be the end of our relationship. Don’t ever feel sorry for me. And don’t feel sorry for yourself.”
“My doors will always be open for you, so please come by whenever you miss me. On the days that rains or snows, or when a butterfly flies by me, I’ll think that you have dropped by. The day when you were born and the day you die, I will continue to be there. No matter what form or whenever I will get to meet you again. I promise to treat better then. I will make up for all the time we were apart. Your mother will care for you then. We will greet each other happily.”
The End
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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