Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It has been a while since I last uploaded new works on my WordPress. I recently graduated from CSU, Chico! In my last semester, I took ENGL 420W once again as a fun class for myself. This is one of the pieces I wrote for class. I don’t remember exactly what the prompt was or what we had to include. I do remember that I wanted to include a small dialogue from Final Fantasy 7 when Aerith and Cloud talked to each other. Maybe that was what I thought when I first wrote this piece. I hope you all are doing well and enjoy!
1 Minute Read
I just wanted flowers. The ones that linger a little longer.
Little did I know the flowers were a trap. I should’ve known
I was over-trusting, over-emotional, and overtaken.
“How much for this one?” I asked.
“Ooo, great choice. Well, it usually depends on the customer.
For you, it’s free.”
“What’s the catch? You wouldn’t give it to me for free.”
“All I ask is for you to revisit my flower stall in the future.”
Her words left me in limbo, unable to react,
only my heart was moving. Before I knew it,
I was simping for her.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It has been a while since I last uploaded new works on my WordPress. I recently graduated from CSU, Chico! In my last semester, I took ENGL 420W once again as a fun class for myself. This is one of the pieces I wrote for class. I don’t remember exactly what the prompt was or what we had to include. I just kinda went off on a whim and wrote about the Summer Solstice because it is very close to my birthday. I hope you all are doing well and enjoy!
1 Minute Read
The longest day of the year that burns and illuminates the Earth. The thread between reality and the spirit world thins and stretches as people make madness and emotions run high. Gather the flowers and hope young love will shine right with the right one.
When the Sun sets, the shadows come. Whispers and apologies form. It won’t last long, the Moon’s shift clocks out soon. It wishes to stay but Sun reins and takes the Moon’s soul.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It has been a while since I last uploaded new works on my WordPress. I recently graduated from CSU, Chico! In my last semester, I took ENGL 420W once again as a fun class for myself. This is one of the pieces I wrote we had to incorporate a nature element to our piece. So, I decided to write a piece inspired by the anime Violet Evergarden. I just included as many references to flowers and their colors in this piece. It became a lot darker than I had originally intended and I’m fine with that. Minor spoiler here, but the anime itself is pretty dark as well so I think it still fits the theme. I hope you all are doing well and enjoy!
1 Minute Read
False hope is the worse crime in this life,
a promised neverland failed to shelter the
lost mother along her evergarden violet path
as she killed her bougainvillea humanity to
survive the magnolia war she knew was brewing
in the white camellia wind, in the rose sea,
in the emerald forest, in the claudia-colored
fire, in the cattleya rain, in her iris heart, her
stephanotis blood stained hands soak through
her silene battle dress, her charlotte knife hung
from her pinkie, she saw it all with her blue lily
eyes, only the crushed dried bennet in her bag
can remind her of where she’s to go to find the
laurus major who gave her false hope in life.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It has been a while since I last uploaded new works on my WordPress. I recently graduated from CSU, Chico! In my last semester, I took ENGL 420W once again as a fun class for myself. This is one of the pieces I wrote for my class. We were asked to write a poem as an ode. I decided to write about myself and my consumption of soju while I was in South Korea when I studied abroad in the Fall of 2019. I hope you all are doing well and enjoy!
1 Minute Read
Clanking of glasses echos the chilling Autumn night. The sweet liquid washes the troubling thoughts for a moment. “One shot, one shot” words of encouragement. The easiest way to drown in culture. “Soju hanna juseyo” “소주 하나 주세요” You could say I spent more time with Soju than anyone else in South Korea. Soju did not judge me, nor pitied me, all the way to the final drop. Soju wore grape perfume and liked strawberries. But mostly bitter, like me. I think that is why we got along.
Slap the won down, choke the bottle’s neck, and rip off the cap. Not the Korean way but fastest way to forget about the broken promises Soju was a great listener but they never answered the questions I asked. But that is okay, I already knew the answer. I just wanted validation to allow myself to grief.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note:This is a portfolio that I had to submit for my last assignment for my ENGL 420W – Advanced Poetry Writing class at CSU, Chico during my Spring 2023 semester. Below, you will find four poems and one letter to my younger self. For this submission, we had to use a photo or painting that we took/made to represent our title and the works we’ve produced this semester. But WordPress won’t let me publish it without a title so I decided to title it Moving On. You’ll notice that three of the pieces are ones that I’ve actually made before. I wanted to go back and revisit them and see if I can give them new life or a different perspective to what I originally created. Right below this author’s note is a photo of me because that is the photo I chose for my title. If you are reading this on your phone, please turn it sideways to landscape for the correct format! I hope you enjoy these!
12 Minutes Read
Photo Credits Find them on Instagram @pachiavangphotography
I Believe In You
Little Boy, sharpen yourself for the harsh realities of this world.
Your fevered ears became deaf from the toxicity.
Bitten bloodied tongue kept the fake peace, you are tired of mourning in the mornings.
Feel the blood drip down in your throat. Let it fuel you. It will allow you to survive.
Little Hmong boy, understand that respect is earned, not given.
Are you ready to fight? Fleeing, will not be an option.
I do not know when you will stop. It will be a neverending fight.
Against your culture, your language, your pride, your community, your essence.
Be patient with pog. She loves you, her favorite grandchild. Survive for her.
“I couldn’t, so you will.” Carry on her legacy, all the pain and pride.
Teen boy, mature quickly and leave behind Disney and friends.
You will lose many friends, kids can’t come along.
This will be a lonely journey of never being enough for yourself.
Remember we have reasons for our secrets. The truth will hurt more than the lies.
Down the 40oz, and sleep. Another nightmare day is on the horizon.
Teen Hmong boy, always on the grind. Troubled thoughts cloud your mind.
Sing out your tears. Your eyes will sing the saddest melodies.
The hidden voices get louder like an evil symphony.
You’ve thought about ending this melody many times.
“You’ve done well, I won’t blame you, if you decide to give up. It’s okay. I mean it.”
Young man, can you forgive yourself? Can you do that? Is it not too much?
I wish you would. It is the most difficult emotion. Forgive, that is you, that is us.
It has always been too tough, it’s hard to open up.
People will constantly leave your life, and that is okay.
But just because it is okay, I know it will always hurt you the most.
Young Hmong man, being the only Asian student in your class.
This education is a privilege, please do not waste the sacrifices from the Secret War.
Our community is too immature, too violent, to ever love and care for one another.
These OGs don’t care about the youths’ opinions and logic.
I beg you to not turn your back on your community. Save them.
They need you, desperately, more than you need them.
To you, keep moving forward day by day, and do not be trapped by your liquored past.
Your shattered heart is made of red glass. Break down those glass panes.
They could never walk your daggered path.
“Move on, it’s not like we’ve always had what we wanted. We will find a way to survive.”
It hurts because it feels good to be needed but not at the expense of losing yourself.
To you now,
Going to graduate from high school.
Attending college as a first-generation student.
Going to study abroad in a different country.
Going to live out their dream and change the world.
Shine and glow, even more, they will be amazed at your growth rate.
Don’t shy away from making mistakes.
“Adversity will make you strong and it will lead you to the top.”
I was and still am that young Hmong man. I am never going
Back to the bottom. I had
Every reason to give up. Yet, here I am.
Let the past and the future be your driving force.
I want to give you a hug and tell you
Everything is going to be okay. Please
Value the good and the bad. Go ahead and cry, please, let it all out,
Every tear for the ones you impacted, and the ones that impacted you.
I understand how you feel and don’t apologize for the way you feel.
Never give up, always find the light within.
Your feelings are valid. Trust yourself and don’t hold back.
Onwards and blaze a trail into the
Universe. “Please know, I believe in you.”
Represent Re-present!
* Crowd claps four times in succession
And this is what I rep!
I represent the silent ones! I represent the ones that never won! They expect me to fail.
But nah, I ain’t like that. I’m tough as nails, smooth like ale, and cold as hail.
They try to color my future like the Mekong while tryna make me forget about the napalms.
I sprouted from those metal shells, toxic gel couldn’t keep me in hell.
I always wanted more cuz I never had enough. My haters talk big but I know they’re all bluffs.
Imma be on my grind like I suppose. Checking off my goals like playing bingo.
Some say I’ve changed, a better question is “Why are you still the same?” I know that’s insane,
you hate me, but you know me. Cuz I don’t know you, but you know my name.
Focus on me like a final boss cuz I’m too strong, call it Nuoc Mam sauce.
You can never contain me, down to the letter I’m a bad B.
Bring on the hate. I embrace the friction. Cuz it only grows the flame.
I thank you for the attention, this fire is innate, something you can’t obtain.
Energy immaculate, going up, mastered it. I am more than what you imagined,
My work ethic make’em wheeze like an asthmatic, I accept it all, the dubs and the Ls.
Listen to those bells. My name still rings. This is Manting. I will remain king.
Yeah, it ain’t special. Simply, Just Doin Ma Ting, and I hope you do the same.
It won’t be long. Til I’m at the top. Cuz I’m never gonna stop. They’ll have no choice but to clap.
They’ll hail at me like a taxi cab. Cuz in the end, I’ve put Hmong on the map!
Let Me As You
Let me as you talk, sit next to you like kids at a playground whispering secrets we don’t want the adults to hear. “I have a crush on you.” That was the secret you told me. You were my best friend’s crush. I did not want to hurt him or hurt you. Will I lose him or you? Or, will I lose you both?
Let me as you walk, place the umbrella over your head to shield you from the rain. If you get sick, that brings me pain. I’m too nice and that is something I can’t change. Please, don’t take this the wrong way. How can this pathetic me ever be enough for you?
Let me as you weep, step away. I can’t be the one to comfort you. I must not be. Your tears carry the emotions only those who have died inside can express. I hate to see you like this. And I hate how powerless I am to make you feel better. If I just accept my feelings for you too, will this pain be easier?
I went back and hugged you in hopes that it would help stop your tears. But I see that Nelson is already hugging you. Did I make a mistake in coming back? You move out from Nelson’s embrace and turn to me.
You asked me, “Why are you doing this to me?! You rejected me and I accepted that. But now, you are giving me hope. Please, stop. That is more cruel than any rejection you could’ve said. All I’m asking for is your honesty. Do you have feelings for me too? Or is that also too much to ask, Exia?” I guess, in the end, I will be losing you both.
Changed
“Realization of how much we have changed over the years is scary.
We’ve learned, we’ve caved, we’ve grown, and we’ve failed.” Yet,
how do you measure how much you have changed? One step? Two
steps? One breath? Two breaths? One death? Two deaths? What more
can I do? What more can I show? This power, it is delicious… Oh my,
have I become a villain? Ahh, is this what it means to be empowered?
No longer empty! No longer embarrassed! No longer desired! No longer
sired! Brothers, do you see how much I have changed? Are you not proud?
I became what you couldn’t! I became the one who could! Is it not scary? I
am more than you could ever imagine! This potential is all possible because
I drank the potion. The potion of “fuck it.” Fuck your opinions, fuck my
limit, fuck your distractions… haha, would you like a sip of this potion too?
Chug it down, all the way to the very last drop. And when you see your
reflection in the bottle, you’ll see how much you’ve changed.
Letter to a Poet – Manting Xiong
Dear Manting Xiong,
I read your poems “I Believe In You”, “Represent Represent”, “Let Me As You”, and “Changed” for my class for the final portfolio project. I want to start off by saying thank you for writing and sharing these pieces of poetry with the world. I’ve actually read all of your previous works and I really enjoyed the pieces you’ve written this semester for Jeanne’s Advanced Poetry course at Chico State. I know your WordPress audience will look forward to you sharing this with your writing collection.
I first want to talk to you about your cover photo. You chose a photo of yourself which I thought was pretty conceited of you but the more I thought about it, it does make sense why you chose that to represent your work for this semester. You’re smiling, and that is not a normal sight for anyone to see. I think it shows the happiness you’re finding in yourself after completing college. But also, that smile hides a lot of pain and anxiety that you’ve endured this semester. That goes for everything this semester, including the work you produced for this course. You’re proud, and you weren’t afraid to show it this semester by taking up space and putting out the work that you found most interesting. It’s not much, but you did what you could. I think that will always be enough even if you yourself don’t feel like it was.
The materials you read this semester were interesting. It dove into many deep, dark, and uncomfortable topics. But they were still enjoyable to read because you had no idea what each piece was going to talk about. It was a bit difficult to read at times due to the heavy topics but when you were able to revisit each piece, it gave you new insight on how you felt about certain things. I think that was important for you and the writing you were producing. So, I think Jeanne deserves to know how grateful you are to have had her as your professor now for the fourth time and just have read great works and pieces by new authors you’ve never heard before.
Much of the feedback you received from your classmates seems to indicate how noticeable your lyricism is. Which seems to have been your strong suit and element present in most of your poems. I think if you’re able to try different things while centering it around your lyricism, your poems can really take off. Looking forward to seeing how your writing will grow and expand in the coming years.
Congratulations! You’re finally graduating! It has been a very very long six years here at Chico State. There were many points that you struggled in and it made you question if a college degree was really worth it. But I’m sure that as you reflect on your college journey, you realize how much you’ve grown. It was difficult to see that you were growing during the struggle. But now that it is over, I hope you can move forward with the parts of your life that you postponed because of college.
Thank you!
Sincerely,
Manting Xiong
Sadly, WordPress has format restrictions on what it can do so the end product on here will look somewhat different from how I intentionally wanted it to be. So if there are some parts that don’t quite look in the right place, I apologize for that.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
My fifth and final performance for Hmong Legacy. I had originally wanted to go with a piece that encapsulated my time and experience in Hmong Legacy. But that was not what I learned in Hmong Legacy. In Hmong Legacy, we continue to push ourselves and confront some of our deepest fears and traumas. So, with that, I wrote a whole new piece the night before the performance.
I thought I had finished writing about the topic of family as I wrote about my mom, my stepmom, and my mot grandma. There are two topics I’ve avoided writing about for the longest time because they are the two that caused me the most damage and pain. They are my older brother and my father. So, for my last piece, I decided to write about my older brother.
Hmong Legacy has been such an amazing experience throughout my undergraduate career. It allowed me to have a space where I can go to and just be Hmong. Somewhere I didn’t feel like I was fighting to just simply exist on campus. I truly hope Hmong Legacy will continue because it does wonders for our Hmong community at Chico State. Thank you to Raquel Lee and the Cross-Cultural Leadership Center for keeping Hmong Legacy going.
7 minutes and 30 seconds
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
My fourth performance for Hmong Legacy’s Reading event. It had been a very long time since my last spoken word performance so I was pretty nervous about this one. The background of this piece is talking about the fragile masculinity I’ve witnessed in the Hmong community. I had the opportunity to attend APAHE earlier that year and I listened to a workshop presented by Vince Moua. They talked about the struggles of being a Hmong professional at higher education institutions and having to be one or one of the few AAPI individuals fighting for our Hmong youths.
I sent this email to Vince after the conference because of how impactful his workshop was to me. “Thank you again for such a strong and powerful workshop you presented here at APAHE. I feel so privileged and honored to have attended and gotten to meet you and hear about your story. I resonated so much with many of the things you mentioned, especially the part about going to higher education and getting that exposure and then going back home and people who you used to go to school with, your own community, outcasts you. I hear you, and I see you and the pain that comes with that experience because I have gone through that too.”
On the right side here, you’ll see a few of Vince’s slides that I was able to capture.
The other media that I incorporated into this piece was from Joyner Lucas’ song called Things I’ve Seen. It is such a powerful song and raw in how he points to the struggles that Black women face and encounter. I wanted to incorporate that and switch to something that is more geared toward Hmong women. Also, I apologize for my usage of Hmong, I got too emotional during my piece and I was not able to correctly pronounce some of the Hmong words I had written down.
We even had a reporter from our university’s independent news source in attendance to capture the thoughts and feelings of the performers. You can read it here! Am I Hmong enough? Students search for identity in diaspora. Thank you Melvin Bui for coming out and reporting on this! Also, special thanks to Selena and the Cross-Cultural Leadership Center for keeping Hmong Legacy alive!
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
I was pushed and coaxed into giving a spoken word performance to the students. Kim (my boss) asked me a few days before the last day we met up with the students if I wanted to give a spoken word performance on the last day. I initially said “No.” but after a few more encouragement from Kim and my coworkers, I ended up saying “Yes.” So, I gave my “Represent Represent” piece a few small revisions, and then on the last day with the students, I performed it for them. The reason why I decided to go with this piece was because I wanted the students to understand that coming to college and especially being in the EOP program, they will and are representing many things. They will represent their hometown, their ethnicity, their culture, their family, Chico State, and most importantly, they will represent EOP. So when they shine, the whole program shines. At the same time, I wanted to give them a real talk about how college is not for everyone as it will test them greatly in all capacities in life. The audio is not the best so I apologize about that.
4 minutes and 19 seconds
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
IMPORTANT: Skip the video to 21:05 because that is when I begin my performance. My third performance in Hmong Legacy. Before I go any further, I do have to warn you that the audio for the video DOES NOT WORK. Sadly, there was an audio issue so a good portion of the performance was not broadcasted. However, I still uploaded the piece and you can read it here! Tub Xeeb Ntxwv Manting
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
IMPORTANT: Skip the video to 40:19 because that is when I begin my performance. My second performance in Hmong Legacy. Compared to my first performance, I was more confident and strong with my piece and the components within my piece; the message and intent. “Represent Represent” will always have a special place in my heart as it was the piece that made me discover my love for performing spoken word. I learned so much during Fall 2018 and this piece really shows my growth not only in me but the growth that I continue to seek in the future as well.
Represent Represent was made during a time that I felt resembled where I was in my life. I incorporated media that I consumed at the time into my pieces whenever I write them. So, if something feels familiar, it probably is. I can’t fully 100% claim that this is original but it is still something I want to share because this piece was everything to me when I first made it.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
MX Creations Blog 
You must be logged in to post a comment.