Author’s Note: This is a portfolio that I had to submit for our last assignment for my ENGL 320W – Poetry Writing class at CSU, Chico during my Fall 2020 semester. Below, you will find two poems and one letter to my younger self. I titled my portfolio submission ReflecTing. A bit of wordplay here as I put in my name and touch on the topic of reflecting. If you are reading this on your phone, please turn it sideways to landscape for the correct format! I hope you enjoy these!

8 Minutes Read

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Kuv Xav Mus Tsev

My soul soars freely
       spreading love and positivity around me
and I think of ‘home’,
       where silence is an afterthought
and all the seats are occupied,
where laughter waters the flowers.

Kuv xav mus tsev,
nothing beats a home-cooked meal
        made with love and care
and I think of ‘home’,
        where birthdays and holidays are celebrated
throughout the joyful night, lasting till the morning
where I am comforted by angels.

Kuv xav mus tsev,
my homesick body yearns
          and searches for excuses to visit
and I think of ‘home’,
          where words and feelings are heard
and emotions are nurtured and cultivated,
where “I am sorry” is accepted.

Kuv tsis xav mus tsev,
         Don’t give me that look.
         Don’t act so surprised, for this is a simple truth.
         I’ve tested it, my blood is not thicker than water.
         Because none of those things
         exist for me. The only place
where this home exists for me is in my dreams.

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It Comes and Goes Like the Seasons

1st-5th:
Meeting new kids and being cautious.
        Maybe this was the time we found our passion?
                       Some began to understand what relationships were really like.
                       “Best Friends for life?”
             Our naïve selves thought these people will be with us forever in our life.
                          How things would have changed if we had listened?
                “You will change, I will too, and each time we do… 
all we can do is live while losing things.”


6th-8th:
“What if we... what if we never changed?”
               Suddenly, popularity was a thing.
               A time when many people both loved and hated.
                      Some stayed close because it was the only option.
                      In some, that root was cut off and burned,
   others were left to journey alone hoping to make friends.
        How great would it be if some of these times would just stay forever?
“I shall grieve, and I shall weep. But I shall not regret it.”


9th-12th:
Let’s stay away from each other for a while. Maybe if I miss it, I will come back.”
         “Maybe, I should text Nelson... it’s been years since we last talked to each other…”
                        “I wanted to be liked too…”
          How much better it would have been if we knew how to love ourselves then?
           We learned something new and our relationships changed too.
                          Things that used to make sense will be questioned.
                          Things that were muddled and foggy became clear and comprehensive.
“Here is a tip, we are all trying to figure it out.”


13th-18th:
A time when we began to understand who we are.
       Some couldn’t wait to leave home and move far away.
          Others began to explore, digging deeper with
             no way out, as their only option was to dig deeper.
                              Immaturity is still rooted in our kid self,
                    and things that used to be worrisome became afterthoughts.
    “I think you and I need a break from each other.”
“Our relationship is like a pie crust, thin, and easy to break.” 


20+:
Legal and ready to go, just kidding, no one really has it all figured out.
              “We became adults so quickly, now all we wish for is to revert to kids.”
            How naïve we were… thinking that we “knew” everything, funny isn’t it?
                       Some were fortunate with this gift,
      as a new root replaced it.
That new root decided life or death for some of us.
      “I think this is when I first felt depressed.”
Maybe, this was the time when ending it all came along…?

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Letter to a Poet – Manting Xiong

Dear Younger Manting Xiong,

I read your poems “Kuv Xav Mus Tsev” and “It Comes and Goes Like the Seasons” for my class for our final portfolio project. I want to start off by saying thank you for writing and sharing this piece of poetry with the world. I’ve actually read all of your previous works and I really enjoyed the pieces you’ve written this semester for the Poetry Writing class at Chico State. I know your WordPress audience will look forward to you sharing this with your writing collection. I think anyone reading these two pieces will realize the dark tones that accompany them. I noticed that you still write about dark themes and topics, I think it is your way and style to decompartmentalize your experiences and give yourself some type of relief, although I would love to see you attempt to write something more bright and happy, even if that process may be more difficult compose than usual. Maybe try the revision strategy you learned during weeks 15 and 16 using Alberto Rios’ methods? Especially that revision method of writing the poem’s other half, I think you’ll be able to compose something really special with it.

I love the way how you structured these pieces, I can definitely see you getting better at incorporating and thinking about structure in your works. “Kuv Xav Mus Tsev” doesn’t do anything too crazy structure-wise and out of this world but once we got to “It Comes and Goes Like the Seasons” it changed a lot. It can be a bit disorientating reading the piece the first time as the lines jump around a bit but I think that keeps the reader interested, engaged, and focused. Since “It Comes and Goes Like the Seasons” the subject and topic of the poem are about relationships, I think you tried to physically represent how relationships are by moving the lines around. Showing that relationships are never easy and straightforward stacked up neatly going downwards. It has many twists, turns, and complications that come with the territory. You have numbers written above each stanza and to me, it is labels of ages as we progress and grow up. Each stage presents its own relationship difficulties. I know that this version looks very similar to the version you initially submitted but it is different because you used the revision by Alberto Rios but wrote out the poem on a sheet of paper and cut it out. Then slowly and one by one, you pulled out a line every couple of minutes for each stanza and that is how you have the new combinations of lines. I think it worked wonderfully using that revision method for this piece as there are different combinations that flowed better than your first version.

I think you should definitely take some time during the upcoming winter break to reread some of the works by other writers and authors we were given to read this semester as you will discover some new findings in each that you did not see previously. I can see that you’ve grown as a writer and I hope you yourself will be happy with that growth as well. However, this growth will only blossom as long as you continue to be diligent and allocate effort to this craft. There will be times when improvement will come slowly and in bursts, remember to be patient and resilient in your development and approach to writing.

You’re doing enough. You’re doing just fine. I know you and you’re trying your best right now. That’s all you need. Just keep your pace. Don’t be nervous, trust yourself. You did a great job today, you worked so hard. You are my prize.

Thank you again, I look forward to reading more of your work. 


Best,
Older and Slightly Smarter Manting Xiong

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Below I’ve included a screenshot of the feedback I received from my professor. I realized the screenshot is very small so I wrote it below for clarity.

Hello, Manting–


Thank you for your commitment to your writing practice this semester.  It shows in your poems, especially the ones here.  I am captivated so often by the lyricism in your poems–the beautiful music of language & line–& the freshness of your images; for instance, “[laughter] waters flowers.”  I deeply admire the ways that your braid the Hmong language into your poems & without translating the words.  You let the words stand, the lines hold their own.  This is especially important given the subject of the first poem, a longing for home.  I hope to see you in another creative writing class & that you have a restful break, Manting.


Take care, ______

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Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.