Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders in Higher Education Conference – Rise Up

April 2018

3 Minutes Read

After graduating from Chico High School, I got accepted into CSU, Chico. I didn’t realize how quickly my next leadership opportunity would come in my second semester of college. In the Spring semester of my Freshmen year in college, I was fortunate to have been selected by the Asian and Pacific Islander Council at CSU, Chico to attend the Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders in Higher Education Conference in Oakland, California. To be selected, we had to complete an interview process and submit a form to answer the questionnaires. I was one of the lucky six API (Asian and/or Pacific Islander) students selected to attend. Thank you to the APIC Council for this opportunity.

I was one of the only two male API students from Chico State so we were roommates and I just want to give a huge shoutout to Xeej. He was about to graduate in May that year and I am just so so grateful to had the time and opportunity to pick his brain and talk to him about life. I knew him for a short time but he made such a big impact on my life. Thank you to Shrutti as well, I will forever remember that night in which you, Xeej, and I talked late into the night.

This conference gave me so much confidence and a sense of direction with where I wanted to go and accomplish in my college career. Learning about burning out, how to use kindness and compassion in a leadership role, and most importantly, hearing the best-ever keynote speakers (IMO) in person… there is just too much I learned there to recap everything. This is where I began to embrace my API identity and start to think about how I can positively impact the lives of the people I encounter.
Overall, I think the most important things I will remember from this experience are the conversations I had with the attendees there. Talking about what it means to be an Asian-American living in the U.S. and specifically, what it means as a Hmong-American. Talking about what are the best ways we can positively serve our community and impact the younger generation to pursue higher education. And most importantly, how do we advocate not only for ourselves but also for other communities as well?

Group photo of all the Hmong attendees. Hmong Represent!

My original “Represent Represent” piece.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Chico High School – Sac Street Boys and Student Government

August 2015 – May 2016

3 Minutes Read

I knew I wanted leadership things to be a part of my life so I continued to seek it out whenever I had the time. So, in my junior year of high school, I had the privilege and opportunity to be part of both my high school’s student government course and also be in Sac Street Boys (SSB) which is a four-men quartet group in my Acapella course. I, unfortunately, do not have any photos of me being in student government. To be in Sac Street Boys, male Acapella students must first be part of the Acapella class and audition then at the beginning of the year, male Acapella students can audition to be in SSB. However, there are only four spots available and those are permanent for the duration of the academic year. I’m just blessed to have been part of a hard-working and fun team that was very cohesive in teamwork and vibes.

Overall, These guys always brighten up my day even after a long stressful day or week and it was always a fun time with them. Most of the small groups had only one lunch rehearsal per week but we had two lunch days instead because we wanted to grind and be the best. It meant I couldn’t hang out with my other friends but that didn’t matter too much to me because I knew I was working for something bigger than myself. That was a sacrifice I was comfortable giving up. And the results validated my work ethic and the effort I put into the group. This (my Junior year) and my Sophomore year are both tied for my favorite years in the Acapella choir.

One other thing I learned during this experience was balancing my time because I was involved in so much and doing so much. Acapella choir, Sac Street Boys, Student Government, Classes, an Officer in my Club, and Volleyball, I learned how to manage my time. I prioritized what things were important to me and I began to out the distractions that took away time and activities that didn’t justify my time.

Overall, being in student government didn’t teach me as much as I had hoped but it did provide an opportunity for me to hone my interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. Whether it was interacting with other CHS staff members or delegating tasks and problem-solving, this class didn’t teach me, but it allow me to improve on the skills I already had. And I think that is very important in my development.

Performance at Olive Garden. I remember being so nervous about this because we were singing to a wealthy group of people having their party.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Chico Jr. High School – Leadership

August 2012 – May 2013

2 Minutes Read

The first leadership experience and opportunity that I recognized and personally sought out was in my 8th-grade year at Chico Jr. High School. Many of the accomplishments I’ve completed and the ones I achieved in my 8th-grade year will not have been possible without the guidance of my Leadership teacher, Andy Wahl.

I remember feeling so unprepared and not smart enough for your Leadership class and yet you still encouraged me to join. That was the first time I ever felt imposter syndrome and throughout that academic year, the more I grew and learned, I began to have more confidence in myself and my actions. You took a chance on me… You took a chance on me, a Hmong-American student that just wanted to prove that he too, can make a difference in his community in his small own ways, and for that, I will be forever grateful to you. You do not know how much that meant to me back then, and even now in my present. It was such a privilege to have you as a teacher who pushed me to do better and to challenge myself whenever I didn’t feel ready for a task.

When I was called up for Chico Rotary Club’s Outstanding Citizenship Award, I was so shocked. I couldn’t believe my name was being called. I had no idea I was even considered for this award. The only other person that received this award was a female classmate in my Leadership class. This was the validation I needed at the end of the year for me to truly know that my actions and efforts in my community were seen, heard, and appreciated.

Teamwork, professionalism, work ethic, communication, and so many other skills I was able to develop and use came from my experience in Mr. Wahl’s class. This class served as the foundation for the skills I have developed to this day. I couldn’t have asked for a better Leadership teacher. I personally felt like Mr. Wahl was genuinely someone in my 8th-grade year that believed in me, my work ethic, and my potential in life. I hope that these awards I was able to obtain on 8th-grade awards night made you proud. Thank you, Mr. Wahl, for believing in me and I hope you rest well up there.

Chico Rotary Club Medal. I still have this medal tucked away in my closet.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

IGWLTM Haibun

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! It has been a while since I last uploaded new works on my WordPress. Fall 2021 semester has been very difficult for me so I haven’t had too much time to edit or even write creatively. But I remember that I had some works stashed away in my vault so I decided to upload these while I try to complete my other side projects. I hope you all are doing well and enjoy!

2 Minutes Read

If God Was Listening To Me, he would know that I want to one day win the lottery. Sounds greedy, right? But If God Was Listening To Me, she would know that I would donate a quarter of those winnings to various civil rights organizations. If God Was Listening To Me, he would know how much it hurts for me to believe in the good within this country that hates me for being here. Why do you create these people with evil intentions of hurting the elders in my community? Or are these just the bad apples you decide to create from time to time as a form of entertainment for yourself? If God Was Listening To Me, she would know I despise everything about her for being the cause of wars, death, justification for expansion… Did you enjoy painting Jerusalem with tears and blood? Would you have spared the Natives and let them keep their land if they believed in you first? If God Was Listening To Me, he would know that I think of him as nothing. For I’ve been told by your followers that I cannot obtain X, Y, or Z without converting and putting faith in you. But you see, I have gotten this far without ever putting faith in you. So, why should I start now? And, if you created us? Who created you? And, the one after that? I would love to know. And yet, If God Was Listening To Me, they would know that I am thankful for him, as they have provided an “out” with a strong foundation for someone important in my life. They are happier now, even if I myself can’t understand why, I know you had something to do with it. I thank you for that, even if I don’t want to admit it.

maybe you do hear
but I doubt it, maybe once
listen to me, please?

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

Home of the Me Nyuam Ntsuag

2 Minutes Read

How did you survive here?

I mean, you’re still alive in this town so something must’ve worked. You’re staying for education but besides that, what else are you staying here for? What else are you waiting for?

20th street park is dead silent now. No more false fire alarms going off in Chapman Elementary. No more music of mischievous Hmong kids running around the playgrounds. The rooted trees disappear like people.

How many students from your elementary class graduated with you from Chico High? How many of you are deceased or jailed? How many are you actually went to college? Do you see how you’ve all changed?

Do you hate me? Surely you must… for I’ve blessed you and yet, I’ve taken so much from you. I’ve housed you, raised you, and forsaken you. The tiny little cub who wasn’t supposed to survive did.

I saw you lose your first kiss on White Avenue. I saw you simping to your crush during Junior prom on Patrick Ranch. I saw you cry yourself to sleep at night on Colorado, Midway, Virginia, and Guill street.

Hate me, resent me, curse me to hell, and hope I burn with everything you have. Have it so that when you hear my name and violent voice. You will shake and quiver with fear like on November 20th in 2015.

So when the time comes to leave me. It’ll feel natural and healing. To finally sigh with relief that you’ve defeated your demons. Even as the tears of joy and sadness you held in for so long escape you.
Because I am the town that raised you, my me nyuam ntsuag.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

Why Must You Be Strong

2 Minutes Read

If you become a strong shield in order to protect others,
who will be able to protect you when you begin to shatter?
If you become strong and repel your emotions like a robot,
how will you ever feel the excitement that only love can expose? Or
know the heartbreak of losing someone you care about?
If you become strong and do everything by yourself,
how will you ever make friends and show that you are trustworthy?
If you become a strong workhorse, how will you ever lay
those heavy burdens on your shoulders down and learn to relax?
If you become too strong, when will you decide that I’m no longer needed in your life?
Do you want to know the worst part about being strong?
     Is that no one asks if you’re “Okay?”
Are you eating well? Are you sleeping enough?
These questions will not be directed toward you if they are,
I know it will be an insult to you than it being a sign of caring.
Maybe this is a feeling that parents have to endure
as they watch their youngins grow up.
When the parents suddenly aren’t needed as much anymore
because the kids are “grown-up” now.
Naturally, we become strong and leave the nest,
and I think back, did I lose them because I became too strong?
Or did they lose me because they were too weak?
It saddens me that when someone becomes strong,
they will both gain and lose things they took for granted.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

Laughter

1 Minute Read

Laughter is like the rain. Sometimes it lasts throughout
A day. Sometimes it lasts only for a moment, allowing
Unique memories for us to remember. Laughing loud like
Gongs getting hit or silent laughs escaping your breath.
Here, it gives us comfort and makes difficult moments
Turn 180 degrees, or down to a lesser degree
Everyone needs laughter, just like the
Rain

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

Cooking, Wear Lessons Are Learned

2 Minutes Read

Every time I cook, I remind myself of the life lessons
I’ve learned. I wear some of them physically,
emotionally, and mentally. Wildly enough, I think
about these lessons during the times when I cook. It
may be due to the amount of waiting cooking
requires. The sounds of chopping echos in my head
remind me of my first failed attempt at cooking.
The delicate meat was cooked too quickly on the
outside, leaving the inside raw and ugly. Just like
getting to the end without understanding the journey.
The smell of bacon, so fatty and delicious that it
makes me weep, I am reminded of the ancient times
when I didn’t have to worry about food. A meal
cooked by someone who I thought would be around
forever. Now, it is a homecooked meal I could never
return to. The sight of the blade sharpening in order
to be used effectively reminds me of my mind. It is
serrated, sharp yet still dull. There is no handle, the
blade impales anyone who touches it. The blade
consistently cuts, tears, slices, stabs, and separates.
The blood and juice stain the blade after every usage,
it is washed and purified. Just because the ingredients
are expensive doesn’t mean the meal will turn out well.
Nothing will if you cook it without care. But the
opposite is also true. Even cheap ingredients can be tasty
if you cook them with care to bring out their unique
qualities. But most importantly, the chef is to blame for
the success and failure of the dish.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

Postcard To The Little Nines

1 Minute Read

Hello Little Nines,
Laughing and smiling as you should
Hair flipped and twisted like the cruel world
Please understand we did what we could
We have taken all the silver except your gold
Knowing it will make you bend but never fold
I see you,
   Crawling hesitantly
     Walking clumsily
       Running bravely
         Driving recklessly
       Flying freely
     Learning sadly
   Loving foolishly
Settling happily
Resting peacefully
Away. You continue to journey further and deeper.
      Take some time to slow down and cry
You’ve earned it,
      just like the knot you will one day tie
Your optimism waning like an ember
So ephemeral and exhausted,
      yet it is fighting with all its might
We begin these wars that you will eventually fight in
      What will we say to them,
      when they all start dying because of our lies?
You will become something someday or nothing at all.
Being nothing is fine since nothing lasts forever.

Sadly, WordPress has format restrictions on what it can do so the end product on here will look somewhat different from how I intentionally wanted it to be. So if there are some parts that don’t quite look in the right place, I apologize for that.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

December 18, 2021 0

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