Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well and staying safe during this quarantine time. At the beginning of January this year (2020), I had a conversation/thought with myself about my writing. I’ve enjoyed writing ever since attending college, of course, I don’t enjoy all writing as academic papers are still not enjoyable for me. However, writing in general has been a way for me to express myself and helped me explore my identity. So, I came to the conclusion to see how far I can take my writing. I started taking my writing seriously and enter some competitions to see how I’d do in them.
‘I Believe In You‘ is a poem about me (Manting Xiong) and my journey from my elementary days to where I am now presently, in college. The poem is approximately 750 words in length. The target audience for this poem is males but specifically Hmong males. Even though the poem is more catered toward males, I believe the feelings and emotions I convey in the poem are relatable to everyone.
I undertook the writing of this poem for this competition after seeing an Instagram post by NFL quarterback Teddy Bridgewater where he wrote a letter of encouragement to kids who may have or are growing up like him. I want to emulate his post but replace it with my background and upbringing while including more deep topics. The reason why my format and stanzas are all over the place is to physically illustrate how difficult it was for me growing up. The path that we are on is difficult to navigate and do try to do our best to keep it straight but there are always things keeping us grounded.
I revised my piece after receiving feedback from Palette Poetry on June 22nd. Unfortunately, my piece was not selected to continue in the competition. However, I am not discouraged by that decision. As this means I can become a better writer/poet and improve my craft even more.
I hope this piece can provide some sort of encouragement to individuals who may have gone through some of the things I have experienced. It may be easier to give up and let go of everything but perseverance through those adversities will make them stronger. The past may not be what we wanted, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t change what our future is going to be. If you are reading this piece on your phone. Please turn it sideways for the correct format.
7 Minutes Read
To the little boy,
Preparing yourself for the harsh
realities of this world alone.
Your fevered ears have become deaf from all
the screaming and yelling in your home.
Waking up early to mentally prepare in the cold brutal morning.
Biting your bloodied tongue to keep the fake
peace for you are tired of mourning.
Your parents are divorced,
a drunken father, and a faraway mother.
"Grandma is in the hospital and inside, you are dying."
To the little Hmong boy,
Who stutters when speaking to
your intimidating Hmong elders.
Understanding respect is earned, not given.
Who speaks Hmong to yourself because
you are afraid of losing your language.
Choosing to stay home and take care of your lineage,
instead of learning traditions and beliefs.
You can always learn tradition later,
while the time left with your grandma is brief.
"Keeping her company, wishing to make her life greater."
To the teen boy,
Who matured quickly, leaving behind
Disney and friends thinking he was no longer naive and blind.
Growing taller in height and humility.
Disregarded family-like friends in order to build stability.
Losing the ability to answer
your teacher’s daunting questions.
Holding back the poisoned tears and having to lie
not by choice, but to survive.
"How do you explain to your teacher
about the battles, you are fighting?"
To the teen Hmong boy,
Fighting meaningless battles at home, in the classroom,
on the blazing court, on the breathless stage, and in your head.
Who found little comfort and joy from
the cafeteria food at school.
Who hated the end of practice,
for that meant you went back to the struggle grind.
And back to the negative thoughts on your troubled mind.
The hidden voices getting louder like an evil symphony.
"Silent cries that only the dead can hear
and tears that carries strength."
To the young boy,
Who continues to envy a house filled with warmth and laughter
Who survived your greedy first attempt at suicide.
Fortify your broken foundation with the gold that is knowledge.
Restoring your faith and determination
Be prudent, believe in the shadow you see and the light you don’t see.
Be charitable but don’t extend an olive branch to everyone.
Family is important, but when it starts to kill you internally, cut it off.
Express temperance, take it slow and recollect.
Resist the gluttony, lust, sloth, and wrath that will tempt you.
"Both the sins and virtues will accompany you on your journey."
To the young Hmong boy,
Shouldering the weight of being
the only Asian-American student in your class.
Who is grateful for the opportunity of an education.
Taking the opportunities and not wasting
the sacrifices of the soldiers from the Secret war.
Who cries for the community because they are too immature,
too violent to ever love and care for one another.
Disappointed that these OGs care only about money and politics,
not caring more about the youths, their opinions, and logic.
"Ours words fall on deaf ears because we are ‘young’."
To the young man,
Please know your worth and
understanding it is not your loss, it is theirs.
You are more vaulable to the right person than you ever
will for the wrong person.
You have so much to share and so much to give.
Keep your bar high, only the worthy will reach it.
But let's learn to love ourself first,
before we try to love someone else.
"If you can love the last person that much.
Imagine how much you will love the right one."
To the young Hmong man,
Your shattered heart is made of red glass.
Break down those glass panes, and rise. For
You will war! You will rage! You will shine!
You shall cry! You shall sing! You shall smile!
You must fight! You must learn! And most importantly, you must survive!
Keep moving forward day by day,
do not be trapped by your tragic past.
Give it your all, don’t worry about last time.
"There are still many things for you to accomplish,
it is not a crime to be happy, for you have yet to reach your prime.
To you,
Who is still smiling even through all the bullshit that life threw at you.
That is going to graduate from high school.
That is attending college as a first-generation student.
That is going to study abroad in a different country.
That is going to live out their dream and change the world.
Life will weave and move like this poem
because life is never a straight path like we hope for.
Don’t shy away from making mistakes.
"Continue to work hard and do not let bad opinions make you flop.
Adversity will make you strong and it will lead you to the top."
I was and still am that young Hmong man.
I have journeyed and is still on that path.
I want to give you a hug and
tell you everything is going to be okay.
Go ahead and cry, please, let it all out,
the tears we shed will water the path for the future dreamers.
I understand how you feel and
don’t apologize for the way you feel.
Your feelings are valid.
You can trust in this light at the end of this tunnel.
"Please know, I believe in you."
Below I’ve included some screenshots of the feedback I received from Palette Poetry.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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