I was pushed and coaxed into giving a spoken word performance to the students. Kim (my boss) asked me a few days before the last day we met up with the students if I wanted to give a spoken word performance on the last day. I initially said “No.” but after a few more encouragement from Kim and my coworkers, I ended up saying “Yes.” So, I gave my “Represent Represent” piece a few small revisions, and then on the last day with the students, I performed it for them. The reason why I decided to go with this piece was because I wanted the students to understand that coming to college and especially being in the EOP program, they will and are representing many things. They will represent their hometown, their ethnicity, their culture, their family, Chico State, and most importantly, they will represent EOP. So when they shine, the whole program shines. At the same time, I wanted to give them a real talk about how college is not for everyone as it will test them greatly in all capacities in life. The audio is not the best so I apologize about that.
4 minutes and 19 seconds
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IMPORTANT: Skip the video to 40:19 because that is when I begin my performance. My second performance in Hmong Legacy. Compared to my first performance, I was more confident and strong with my piece and the components within my piece; the message and intent. “Represent Represent” will always have a special place in my heart as it was the piece that made me discover my love for performing spoken word. I learned so much during Fall 2018 and this piece really shows my growth not only in me but the growth that I continue to seek in the future as well.
Represent Represent was made during a time that I felt resembled where I was in my life. I incorporated media that I consumed at the time into my pieces whenever I write them. So, if something feels familiar, it probably is. I can’t fully 100% claim that this is original but it is still something I want to share because this piece was everything to me when I first made it.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
This was my first ever performance in front of an audience and it was surreal and not planned. Like, at all. My workshop leaders asked for volunteers and I decided to share mine. This became the basis of my future spoken word performances. And of course, Facebook quality is just the best… not really.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Description: Under the direct supervision of the Summer Bridge English faculty, English mentors will work with a group of 8-12 students to help them better understand the writing process and provide feedback to improve their writing. English mentors promote independent learning and act as academic mentors and role models. English mentors must be prepared to complete 4-5 hours of training prior to the start of the EOP Summer Bridge Program.
After my time as an SI leader ended at the end of my Sophomore year (I was going to study abroad in South Korea so I couldn’t come back to that position in my Junior year of college), I was invited to work as an English Writing Mentor as part of the English component in the Educational Opportunity Program’s Summer Bridge Program. A little about the Summer Bridge program, EOP freshmen students who got accepted are invited to a mandatory 12-day program at CSU, Chico where they get a taste of what college is potentially like. So they have a packed schedule from 7:00 AM – 5:00PM/6:00 PM. English is one of the components they have to go to during the duration of Summer Bridge. I had to go through it when I was a freshman as well. So, if you think about it, the students we are assigned are fresh out of high school, as they just recently graduated like 3-5 days ago when the first day of Summer Bridge started. I know that was true in some cases for some of the people I met in my freshmen year.
Kim Jaxon and I first met when I came in as a freshman back in Summer Bridge 2017 and she was also my English professor I had in Spring 2018 as well. So, she’s familiar with me and the work I’ve put in since the start of my college career. Kim is a straight G (gangsta), super duper down to earth, empathetic but also takes no bullshit from students who are slacking. She has had a huge influence on me and my development in writing and falling in love with the pursuit of education. One funny thing that is always happening whenever Kim sees me is that she tries to convince me to switch majors from a History major to an English major. And as I am writing this in December of 2021, she has not stopped since 2017. Maybe she’ll stop once I graduate lol. She only slowed down on the frequency of asking me to switch when I finally picked up a Creative Writing minor back in the Fall of 2020. Thank you Kim for believing in me and pushing me to be better. Kim needed a few more students to fill in the position and she sent me an email and boom, I was on the team.
I have been blessed to have great students and this time it wasn’t any different. I remember my students were kinda shy on the first day but we had to share out the narrative paper they wrote before coming to Summer Bridge and seeing that they were a bit hesitant to share, I went ahead and shared my story first. There is this thing I learned from a mentor of mine about when it comes to sharing stories. “Share your scars but not your wounds. Your scars have healed and you are sharing it won’t reopen it. However, your wounds, are fresh and can be deepened even further, so it is not good to share your wounds. Wait until they are scars to share.” So, I shared my scars with my students and I believe that was when they were comfortable opening up to me and to each other. I feel like that set the tone and comfort level for my students and me. We became close and it felt really nice considering I was only with them for 1 hour and 30 minutes – 2 hours with them each day.
And for two years in a row with my summer jobs, I was pushed and coaxed into giving another spoken word performance to students. Kim asked me a few days before the last day we met up with the students if I wanted to give a spoken word performance on the last day. I initially said “No.” but after a few more encouragement from Kim and my coworkers, I ended up saying “Yes.” So, I gave my “Represent Represent” piece a few small revisions, and then on the last day with the students, I performed it for them. The reason why I decided to go with this piece was because I wanted the students to understand that coming to college and especially being in the EOP program, they will and are representing many things. They will represent their hometown, their ethnicity, their culture, their family, Chico State, and most importantly, they will represent EOP. So when they shine, the whole program shines. At the same time, I wanted to give them a real talk about how college is not for everyone as it will test them greatly in all capacities in life.
Overall, this experience was very fun and welcoming to have before I head into my Junior year studying abroad in Seoul, South Korea for Fall 2019. I improved even more with my interpersonal and intrapersonal skills with even better group management skills. Also, I was able to perform spoken word again in front of a huge audience (IMO) and that is always fun.
Day 2 working with my students.I continuously get new students throughout my life. I am so glad to have a hardworking and fun group.I’m a sap when it comes to handwritten letters and thank you cards.This was such a chill and easy team to work with. Shoutout to Kim and Ayde for picking out such a great team. I still laugh very hard looking through the group chat we had.Kinda funny how a History major got pulled into this. Thank you Kim for always pushing me to convert to an English major. Declaring for a Creative Writing minor is the most I could do 🙂
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After graduating from Chico High School, I got accepted into CSU, Chico. I didn’t realize how quickly my next leadership opportunity would come in my second semester of college. In the Spring semester of my Freshmen year in college, I was fortunate to have been selected by the Asian and Pacific Islander Council at CSU, Chico to attend the Asian-Americans and Pacific Islanders in Higher Education Conference in Oakland, California. To be selected, we had to complete an interview process and submit a form to answer the questionnaires. I was one of the lucky six API (Asian and/or Pacific Islander) students selected to attend. Thank you to the APIC Council for this opportunity.
I was one of the only two male API students from Chico State so we were roommates and I just want to give a huge shoutout to Xeej. He was about to graduate in May that year and I am just so so grateful to had the time and opportunity to pick his brain and talk to him about life. I knew him for a short time but he made such a big impact on my life. Thank you to Shrutti as well, I will forever remember that night in which you, Xeej, and I talked late into the night.
This conference gave me so much confidence and a sense of direction with where I wanted to go and accomplish in my college career. Learning about burning out, how to use kindness and compassion in a leadership role, and most importantly, hearing the best-ever keynote speakers (IMO) in person… there is just too much I learned there to recap everything. This is where I began to embrace my API identity and start to think about how I can positively impact the lives of the people I encounter. Overall, I think the most important things I will remember from this experience are the conversations I had with the attendees there. Talking about what it means to be an Asian-American living in the U.S. and specifically, what it means as a Hmong-American. Talking about what are the best ways we can positively serve our community and impact the younger generation to pursue higher education. And most importantly, how do we advocate not only for ourselves but also for other communities as well?
Group photo of all the Hmong attendees. Hmong Represent!Eating good, the whole weekend. And no, we didn’t have alcoholic drinks. Most of the students weren’t 21 yet.Chico State Reps having fun. If you can’t tell, we’re a fun group.I’m the guy wearing the yellow attire on the right side.Gotta get in a selfie 🙂Xeej and I were in our room on the first night. We both had our own beds, which was sooooo nice.Something I continue to think about even to this day.My original “Represent Represent” piece.Using Hip-Hop pedagogy as a tool to tell our story.Listening to Terisa Siagatonu CHANGED my life. Just search her up on Youtube and watch her video called “Raise Up”, CHILLS!
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Author’s Note: This piece is half of a poem and half of it is a spoken word. It talks about the things I represent and the many identities I have. At this point, I’ve probably performed this piece about six or seven times now throughout my duration in college. I received the idea of creating this piece by seeing Terisa Siagatonu perform her spoken word piece “Raise Up” at the 2018 Asian and Pacific Islanders in the Higher Education Conference in Oakland, California. Her piece resonated so much with me and understanding my identity as an Asian-American and how powerful our voices and stories are to our communities. So, I borrowed some components from her piece and also added some twists of my own to make it personal for me. I hope you enjoy it.
5 Minutes Read
I’m not here to chastise you for what you did or what you didn’t do. My question to you is. What do you represent? You may be confused by that question. Do you represent yourself? Family? Friends? Ethnicity? Culture? Education? Religion? I’m going to move on to something else but keep thinking about it.
So last Wednesday, I turned 20. I know right, this baby face turning 20?! Crazy. After finishing my job for the day. I went home and ate. While I was eating I was talking to my grandma. Our conversation soon leads to a topic that we’ve discussed before. Well, more like I sat and listened as she lectured. My grandma asked me. “How old are you turning today?” I said “20” And then my grandma follows that up by asking me “When am I going to get married?” “When am I going to have kids.?”
Our conversation soon led to another question that was the most difficult question for me to answer. That was “When am I going to get my bachelor’s degree? Her Hmong voice was powerful and stern and yet her question was one filled with innocence. I told her “Soon.” Which is a lie. But she understands that the lies I tell are not lies. Because she was the one who taught me that, people keep secrets for a reason. And the truth can be worse than any lie to cover it up.
I represent her hopes and dreams.
The Hmong people were involved in the Secret War in Laos. The war lasted from 1961 – 1975. In those 14 years, 30,000 Hmong soldiers died. Those soldiers always lived with a shroud on them. When they die in a nameless place for the sake of the Secret war, the place of their death becomes their grave and their uniform becomes their shroud. These soldiers’ ranged from 12 – 60 years old. The war may have ended in 1975 but the killing didn’t. That was when the genocide began. Between 1975 – 1985 100,000 Hmong died trying to flee to other countries. Another 50,000 died just from trying to cross the Mekong River to Thailand. Due to our cooperation to fight for the US in Laos. The Vietnamese government ordered all Hmong people to be killed. But you wouldn’t know this. Because it’s not in our K-12 History books. My grandma told me stories of her experience during those hellish years in Laos. One of her friends from her village volunteered to be a nurse in the war when it first began. When my grandma was able to see her friend again years after the war, her friend told my grandma about the things she witnessed. From what my grandma shared with me, I put it into these simple words, “a doctor with a scalpel sees more death than a soldier with a gun.”
I represent the Hmong soldier’s sacrifices.
With that knowledge about how difficult it was for my ancestors to come to the US. I used that as motivation to obtain a quality education. Because I know that this is a privilege! My privilege to be in this country and my privilege to pursue an education. I’m here not trying to disappoint my ancestors and my fellow Hmong brother and sisters. Who may have left those refugee camps. But their souls and spirits are still in the refugee camps in Thailand. In my freshman year in high school. There were 17 Hmong students in my projected graduating class of 2017. Four years later, on graduation night. Only 16 Hmong students graduated. From Chico High. But only 4 of us were committed to a four-year university. Two years later and I met those twelve students who didn’t go to a four-year university again. Six of them, don’t want to pursue education anymore.
I represent the Hmong youths that hasn’t been brought down by a system and society built against us.
When I attended a conference 8 months ago in April for Asian Pacific Americans in Higher Education. Also known as APAHE. In one of the workshops I attended there, the presenters asked us to participate in an activity. We were given a prompt to create lyrics and perform them for the people who were in that workshop session. The prompt was “What do you represent?” So naturally, I volunteered. And I began with…
Represent Represent!
And this is what I rep! I represent the silent ones. I represent the ones that never won. They expected me to fail. But nah. I ain’t like that. I’m tough as nails, smooth like ale, and cold like hail. They try to color my future like the Mekong. While trying to make us forget about the napalms. But don’t worry, it won’t take long. Till I’m at the top. Because I’m never going to stop until I drop. That’s because I represent myself, my legacy, and the Hmong.
So ask yourself, what do you represent?
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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