My fifth and final performance for Hmong Legacy. I had originally wanted to go with a piece that encapsulated my time and experience in Hmong Legacy. But that was not what I learned in Hmong Legacy. In Hmong Legacy, we continue to push ourselves and confront some of our deepest fears and traumas. So, with that, I wrote a whole new piece the night before the performance.
I thought I had finished writing about the topic of family as I wrote about my mom, my stepmom, and my mot grandma. There are two topics I’ve avoided writing about for the longest time because they are the two that caused me the most damage and pain. They are my older brother and my father. So, for my last piece, I decided to write about my older brother.
Hmong Legacy has been such an amazing experience throughout my undergraduate career. It allowed me to have a space where I can go to and just be Hmong. Somewhere I didn’t feel like I was fighting to just simply exist on campus. I truly hope Hmong Legacy will continue because it does wonders for our Hmong community at Chico State. Thank you to Raquel Lee and the Cross-Cultural Leadership Center for keeping Hmong Legacy going.
7 minutes and 30 seconds
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
My first-ever performance in Hmong Legacy. I was so nervous and I just fumbled my words throughout this performance but little did I know that Hmong Legacy was going to have such a strong and impactful influence on my life not only in finding my identity as a Hmong – American male but also as a creative writer.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Nyob Zoo! Thank you for clicking on this piece. The idea of writing this piece came from a community called Hmong Legacy. Hmong Legacy supports Hmong students by creating a sense of community and empowerment. This allows students with a great opportunity of creating a connection with Hmong students and personal growth. Hmong Legacy has been around CSU, Chico since the Spring Semester of 2018. And ever since then, it’s grown and expanded.
The first time I wrote about this topic was about my mom(s). I’ve already written a piece about ‘Family’ from one of the Hmong Legacy workshops. I didn’t want to revisit this topic because of repetition. But I came back to the topic of family because my grandma passed away this past March. And ever since then, I haven’t really thought about my grandma and her existence. More because I was running away from my feelings and not wanting to think about it. I spilled all the tears I wanted to before and after her death.
While writing this piece, it was difficult remembering all the things my grandma had once told me when I was younger. It made me wish that I would’ve been more patient as a child and as a teenager to sit more with her and listen to her. Ideally, I wanted to use more Hmong words within this piece but my end rhymes in English were better, so I went with that option instead. For the most part, the Hmong parts should be translated into English already. Around eight or nine people told me that I made them cry after the event was done. It really made me thankful and happy that many others are able to relate and feel connected to my relationship with my grandma. To My Grandma, Zoua Lor
5 Minutes Read
You will experience the tragic loss of a loved one in your lifetime. There’s no other way to get around it; everyone dies for various reasons, some are reckless and they die young, or they grow old and slowly fade away. A loved one could be someone who inspired you, it could be a role model, your best friend, a family member, basically, anyone that is important to you. We all know that sooner or later the time will come for all of us to leave. My grandma, unfortunately, passed away this past March.
My grandma took care of me when no one else did. She would often get asked, “Those aren’t your kids so why are you taking care of them?” The phrase I always hear my grandma say is “I raise them because I love their eyes.” (Lawv tsis yog koj yug, vim li cas koj hlub. Kuv hlub lawv ob lub qhov muag, kuv thiaj li hlub law.) I had a different relationship with my grandma than anyone else. I was her favorite. The favorite out of both her children and grandchildren. No, I didn’t ask or do anything special for my grandma to become her favorite. It just naturally happened, and I’m the person I am today, because of her.
Me nyuam ntsuag. The literal translation of this from Hmong to English means, a child without parents. It is a derogatory term used to degrade people in the Hmong community who don’t have parents. My parents divorced when I was six months old. My father won brother and I’s custody in court. I don’t necessarily fit all the criteria to be placed into that category, of being a me nyuam ntsuag. But growing up, I felt like one. And the only person that held me down, was my grandma.
Grandma, I remember the words you would tell me when I used to feel down. “It took me 3 years to make your body and heart strong. Don’t let someone else destroy it when I’m gone.” Even when you would lecture me, I knew you were doing it for my benefit. You said to me. “Luag tias kom paub tab, txhob ua neeg poob qab los lawv yeej tos ntsoov thaum yus yuav poob.” The translation is; “They say to grow up and not be a failure. But they’re already wishing for your downfall.” And now when I think about you, all I remember is the various things you would lecture me about. You would always start off with.
“My grandson Manting Always be kind and humble, and don’t let others stumble. Don’t eat too many chips, make sure to wipe your lips. Find a wife, who will brighten up your life. It’s okay to cry, instead of faking a smile and lie. Smile more, because you’re naturally a happy person deep down to your core. Even if you’re far away, just know you’ve done enough in your day. Love yourself, feeling lost but never doubt yourself. You deserve to be happy, and one day your kids will call you daddy. Don’t be sad if you can’t call me on your phone, just know you’re never alone. Because you’re still in my heart, even when we’re far apart.”
There are many more things you’ve taught me. But it’ll be too long to name them all. I know I said all the things I wanted to tell you before you left already. But in case you’re wondering how I am, here it is.
“Nyob zoo kuv grandma. Now you aren’t suffering anymore, are you smiling more? Rain or shine your foolish grandson, is doing fine. I’m thinking too much nowadays because I’ll be going far away. I’ve gotten really busy, but compared to you, my life is easy. I’m trying to eat all three meals, but don’t worry your cooking is always the real deal. I think I’ve found the one, and no, she doesn’t use Korean wons. But I can’t have her for it’s not our fate, because I was too late. As hard as it may be, please be patient with me. I know I said goodbye then, but I know I will see you again. I’ll continue to slowly work for my future. In the end, I’ll win. Because I’m your grandson Manting.” (Kuv mam li maj mam khwv rau kuv lub neej, Thaum kawg, kuv mam li yog tu yeej. Vim kuv yog koj tub tub xeeb ntxwv, Manting.)
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well. Sorry about this first part, it’s a long explanation and filler about what you’re going to read. This story touches on things such as; people’s inner thoughts, the things we think about when we’re alone when people are depressed, the feeling of loneliness, people’s unspoken thoughts, and the desires people want in life and the desires they can’t have.
I gained the idea of writing this from a community called Hmong Legacy. Hmong Legacy supports Hmong students by creating a sense of community and empowerment. This allows students with a great opportunity to create a connection with Hmong students and personal growth. Hmong Legacy has been around CSU, Chico since the Spring Semester of 2018. And ever since then, it’s grown and expanded.
There was a topic that came up both times during the Spring 2018 and Fall 2019 semesters. That topic was about ‘Family.’ And if you’ve read my other stories or writings, you know that my interpretation of the ‘word’ family is very… difficult for me to describe. I’m somewhere in between, a family doesn’t matter, and indifferent about family. I’m not going to go into detail about what I mean but just know that I can do it with or without family. Basically, it’s not a necessity to me like maybe other people who value the word, family.
Can we agree that dreams are weird sometimes? Not like dreams and aspirations of wanting to become something in the future. But like dreams when people go to sleep. Weird might not be the best description of what I’m trying to say. But hopefully, you get what I mean. Like maybe one night you dream you’re a school teacher and then the next night you dream of flying across the sky on a rocket to Mars… No one? Just me? Okay…
Anyways, dreams are cool but weird at the same time. I’m not going into the scientific side of dreams and all that stuff because I’m not an expert in that field. I’m going to stop here with a brief context of why I’m writing this. And if you do finish reading this story, then you’ll see the rest of my explanation at the end. So, sit back, relax, and I hope some parts of this story can connect or resonate with you.
19 Minutes Read
I woke up one day… and it just felt surreal. Like I didn’t dread waking up. No, it wasn’t the weekend, although I do love Saturdays. It’s like one of those days where you wake up and you feel alive. Like you feel happy to be alive. Feeling like today is going to be the best day of your life due to an event, special occasion, etc. I lay in bed breathing in the crisp morning air that sneaks in through my slightly opened window.
I look down at the blanket that is embracing my body. A huge smile appears on my face. It’s just not any old blanket. It’s my green baby blanket. My baby blanket has one cartoonish-looking brown bear imprinted on the blanket. There’s a little bear who looks like a baby cub. The baby bear is gripping a string attached to three balloons. Each balloon has a different color. The left one is yellow, the middle is blue, and the right one is pink. There are also flowers surrounding the bears. The old vibrant green is now faded and light. It’s the single longest possession I have in my life.
The sounds of music softly enter the room. I couldn’t really hear what the music was or who the artist was. It was probably a kpop song or some smooth R&B. I sat up from lying down still wondering why I was so happy. I looked to my right and on the small black nightstand, there was a small note lying on top. Curious about what could be on the note, I reached over to grab the letter. The bed let out a small creak when I shifted my body weight to grab the note. I yawned and stretched my arms and legs before I read the note. “There’s some breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. I’m really excited, it’s finally the big day! Teela is helping me so don’t worry. See you later today!”
I was puzzled while reading the note. Who’s the person who wrote this letter? And who is Teela? I walked out of the bedroom towards the bathroom. It was connected to the bedroom. I turned on the light and saw the cardinal-colored toothbrush next to my white toothbrush. The cardinal toothbrush probably belongs to one of them. I washed my face and I stood there looking at my reflection in the mirror. And again I was uncontrollably smiling. Is it because of the person who wrote the note? I walked out of my bedroom and towards the kitchen. The smell of yummy food guided me. I sat down and ate away at my breakfast. I thought to myself that this food is really good. Whoever the person is, they can cook. After finishing my meal, I placed the dishes in the sink and went back to my room.
I opened my closet and I immediately noticed a fine white suit with my name tag stuck on it. Before I was able to do anything else, I heard a knock from the front door. I quickly went to greet the guest who visited me. I opened the door and a flash of light overtook me. When I regained consciousness, I was in my white suit at a really large venue. I was shaking hands with the various people who were entering the venue. They kept saying congratulations to me and handing me gifts.
I had no idea why they were being so kind and generous to me. My friends, colleagues, mentors, teachers, professors, uncles, cousins, and everyone of importance to me was here. It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth guest asked me “Where’s your soon-to-be wife at?” My mind went blank for a couple of seconds and I had a light bulb moment. In my head, I was internally screaming. “This is my wedding!!!” It all started making sense now. There are still some things I’m confused about but this answered many questions I previously had.
After greeting and thanking everyone for attending my wedding. I finally had time to myself to rest and reflect on this moment in my life. I wandered around for a bit to find a quiet and serene place. I didn’t realize the venue was so big. Somehow, I ended up on the rooftop. I noticed my mind has been really forgetful lately. Maybe it’s because of all the things that are happening today.
A slight breeze coming in from the east calms my mind. I stare off toward the nearby cherry blossoms on the ground. I began to think about my life. I thought about the many ‘wants’ I always wished for growing up. Marriage is one of those wants. And now I’m close to obtaining it. But there are many other things I still wanted. I might sound too greedy for wanting this… but growing up. I always wished I had a sister.
I had an older brother and that was alright I guess. I wanted a sister in general, but specifically a younger sister possibly. Someone who would look up to me as their role model. But then… I think of my life and I suddenly don’t wish for a sister. I don’t want a blood sister in this lifetime. I don’t want her to experience the hardships I experienced in this cruel world. All those hungry nights? No. All those emotionally abusive nights? No. All that pain and suffering? No. She can’t… Not that I don’t believe my sister is strong. I believe she will have the strongest willpower between my sibling and me.
I want her to save her tears for something or someone that she’ll actually love and care about. I believe that my sister would be beautiful both inside and outside. I mean, if I’m cute already. Then, my sister is going to be beautiful. But I’ll probably be too scared for her. Just knowing how twisted and evil some men are, I would be too afraid of her well-being. She’ll be the best version of both my brother and I. Even with all of that, I do still wish for a sister, just not in this lifetime.
I wiped away the tears gathering around my eyes. I took a deep breath and I went back into the venue. I got lost on where I was going and I ended up at a place where I was not supposed to. I ended up in front of the bride’s room. There was a label on top of the door to signify it. In the Hmong culture, you can see the bride before the wedding. But in American culture, it’s deemed bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony. My curiosity got the better of me so I stepped close to the door with the intent of opening it to see my wife. Before I made contact with the doorknob, I heard an angry woman’s voice saying something to me. I turned around to see a girl around the same height as me running up to me.
She ran up and gave me a pretty good jab onto the side of my stomach. “You know you’re not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony.” said the woman. “Ouch, that really hurts. Wait, hold on. What? And who are you?” I said confusedly while in pain. “Are you okay? I didn’t hit you that hard. Or I guess I did and that made you forget your own sister?” the stranger said cheerfully. “Yeah, it hurts… Wait. Did you just say, sister?” I asked slowly. “Yeah, I’m your sister. Come on bro. Why are you acting so weird? I know I look great in this dress but you should see my sister-in-law. She’s gorgeous!” said my sister. I can’t tell if she’s lying or not but with the way she’s talking to me, I’ll just assume that she’s telling the truth.
She’s around my height, so like around 5’5 or 5’6. A natural color mixture of brown and black hair. Defined jawline. Cute smile. Small lips. Honey brown eyes. Regularly sized forehead. Her hands are a bit bigger than mine. Those are the physical features I’m able to remember anyway. She’s wearing a beautiful blue dress with white accents. But, I’m still thinking about the jab she hit me with so I could be totally wrong in all of them. “So, why can’t I see my wife again?” I asked innocently. “It’s an American wedding, but it’s also a Hmong wedding. So, I guess it doesn’t matter. But if it helps you two to see each other before the ceremony. By all means, go for it.” said my sister.
“I want to give you this before it is too late because you’ll be too busy dancing and talking to all your wonderful guests.” said my sister. She took out an envelope and a small tissue package. Before she gave me the items, she pulled me in for a warm long hug. “I’m so proud of you big bro. You can either read it now after I leave or read it once everything has calmed down. I made sure to pack some tissues for you because I know you cry easily.” my sister teasingly said to me.
My sister handed me the envelope and tissues. I watched her walk away cheerfully and once I couldn’t see her anymore. I opened the envelope to find a letter. I took the letter out of the envelope and I noticed it was actually a couple of pages long.
To: Manting Xiong
From: Teela Xiong
“Hi, big bro! It’s your younger sister, Teela!
I know you adore handwritten letters so I made sure to write one for you. First of all, congratulations! You’re getting married! I’m so proud of you. Although you’ll probably hear that very often today and tonight. I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I know he doesn’t say it at all but I want you to know big big bro is proud of you too. He can be very difficult at times but that’s a part of family. They should tell you how they feel but they’re too shy sometimes. I’m sure your biological Mom is very proud of you. I remember what you told me when you asked Mom what she thought of my sister-in-law.
Mom didn’t approve of it. It’s okay though because you have me and all of these wonderful people who came to your wedding! And you are the one that has to be happy. She’ll come around eventually, I know it for sure. My sister-in-law has a way of bringing people together. So, don’t be sad if she’s not here today. And I know you don’t want to talk about Dad but he tried, we all know that… He just didn’t try hard enough. Good people make mistakes, that doesn’t make them bad people.
It just means they’re human. But some people make more mistakes than others. And in the process, many people are hurt deeply. And many others, they’re still healing from it. You have such a big heart but that means you need the most time to heal too. Also with grandma… She loved you the most. You know you were the favorite. She took care of us when we weren’t even her own. She always loved your eyes. She’s proud of you too big bro. Remember when she would always ask you “When are you getting married?” And you were sixteen at that time! She was very eager to see your grandchildren. Don’t be sad about her not being here. She’s watching from far above. She’s in a better place now. Although, I do wish my sister-in-law could’ve met her in person. Grandma would’ve praised her for how beautiful she was.
Whether you know it or not, you’re an inspiration to me, big bro! Because in you, I see an amazing, awesome, brave, charismatic, compassionate, courageous, dedicated, gentle, great, hardworking, hopeful, humorous, incredible, intelligent, kind, mindful, motivated, passionate, resilient, strong, understanding, and vulnerable person. All these things make you a leader. Continue to cultivate these things because they will bring you success and take you far. You have such high potential and a bright future. You give and bring hope to others and you are a role model to many. But I also wonder if you’re really fine… Is it really worth it in the end even after all those painful sufferings you experienced?
I know how you feel. You’ve been through too much. Remember to take a deep slow breath. Letting the air into you until both sides of your heart feel senseless. Until it hurts you a little. Then, slowly let out all the breath you have. Keep letting it out until you feel like there’s nothing left inside you. Running out of breath is fine. No one will blame you. It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes because no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes. Even adults make mistakes when they’re old and when they are our age. There’s a first time for everything.
It’s alright, we just need to go through it and grow, go ahead and cry. I remember seeing you cry for the first time. To be honest I was taken aback to see my big brother cry in front of me. I realized only then how difficult it must’ve been for you. You did your best to protect me. Let it all out, screw what others think to see you cry. I know crying brings you comfort because you’ve endured it all for too long. I already know you had a day that’s hard enough. Letting out even a small tear brings you comfort. Just let it out like that big bro…
Feeling better? Good, I’m happy that helped. But now you’ve found the one! You gotta let me in on the secret though! How in the heck did you get her to pick you?! You outdid yourself with this one big bro, I’m joking! I didn’t know you liked this type of woman?! Okay fine, I’ll stop teasing you now. Oh yeah, how did you propose to her? Was it something cliche? Or was it romantic? You gotta tell me these things after. I asked my sister-in-law but she said she’ll share it after the wedding. Just tell me the tea, please.
I’m grateful she chose you. I told you, that waiting all this time would pay off. Now I won’t have to worry too much about you. She’ll take care of you now. She’ll hold you at night when you’re alone. She’ll make you delicious food. She’ll be the one to care for my nieces and nephews. She’ll love you like you deserve to be loved. She’ll care for you when you’re sick. When you feel tired from a long day, she’ll be there to comfort you. When you fall down, she’ll be there to pick you back up. I know you’ll do all these things for her too big bro.
She’ll have these privileges and opportunities that I won’t have. I won’t be able to do those things for you anymore big bro. We both know I don’t have much time left anyway. Congratulations again on your marriage big bro. I will forever be grateful to have a big brother like you Ting. A big brother who continued to believe in the good of the world even when the world gave you every reason not to. I’ll try to come to visit you two soon. You’re doing enough. You’re doing just fine. I know you and you’re trying your best right now. That’s all you need. Just keep your pace. You did a great job today, you worked so hard. You are my prize. Bye, big bro…
I finished reading the letter. It’s a good thing Teela gave me these tissues. She really is my sister. Not a lot of people know I cry easily. A part of me wants to run to my sister and give her a hug. I hesitated on going after her. At that moment, the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard called out my name. Asking me to enter the room. I had forgotten, I came here to see my wife. As I opened the door. Another flash of light overtook me. That was when I woke up from my dream.
The End
Hello everyone! And with that comes the end of my story; Letter From Your Sister. I want to say thank you to you the readers who have taken the time to read this story. I hope you were able to enjoy it. I apologize if I made you cry. For the most part, I had dreamt I was getting married. I never met my wife in my dream. I was only able to greet the people who were at my wedding. So, everything else I added to create this story. Growing up I never had a good definition of what family is. To me, a family was just another word for people or friends that were closer to you in terms of relationship and connection.
It didn’t mean anything else to me. I thought that way due to my experience of growing up in my ‘family’ which wasn’t really a family. It was just a group of individuals surviving life that so happened to live together. More often than not, my friends became my family more than the real family I lived with. You know when the shit hits the fan and your family is supposed to hold you down right? I never had that growing up. I held myself down because I was the only person I could faithfully rely on. So, I often see family as something that doesn’t have to be blood-related.
Other people can become your family too. Now I have people who aren’t even related to me that I call family. In the future, I hope I can redefine that word for myself so I can cultivate and nurture a family. This will probably be my last writing and story for a while. The semester is starting to get really busy. Plus, I’m also working on other things on the side. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope everyone stays safe, stays healthy, and I hope this year treats you well. Bye!
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello and thank you for choosing to read this. This was an assignment I had to present and perform in my Speech and Debate class during my senior year of high school. Thematic – having or relating to subjects or a particular subject. When I was completing this assignment, I knew I wanted my subject to be deep and moving. And since I was going to graduate, the topic of farewell messages came to my mind. Within this assignment, I used Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso’s Kaori Letter, Uncontrollably Fond’s Shin Joon Young Future Video, Descendents of the Sun’s Yoo Shi Jin Will, and Running Man’s Goodbye Letters to Kang Gary as my examples. To be honest, when I was performing this in my class, I also cried too because I began to get into my feelings. Anyways enjoy!
15 Minutes Read
Manting Xiong Goldmann Speech and Debate 9 November 2016
Thematic Interpretation: Farewell Messages
I apologize beforehand, my theme might bring you unwanted feelings or mood changes.
Introduction: There is without a doubt that you will experience a tragic loss of a loved one in your lifetime. There’s no other way to get around it; everyone dies for various reasons, some are reckless and they die young, or you grow old and slowly fade away. The loss of a loved one could be someone who inspired you, it could be a role model, your best friend, a family member, basically anyone that is important to you. We all know that sooner or later the inevitable will come for all of us. There are a lot of stages in the event of losing a loved one. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. But I don’t believe that those are the most important part of losing a loved one. It’s the unexpected and unwanted news that is told to you, but through all of that, they somehow manage to still provide you with a gift that they leave for you. The letter, video, or will that they record to be given to a particular person. Sometimes it’s not them who are saying goodbye to you, it’s you having to say goodbye to them.
– Title of Piece: Kaori’s Confession Letter
Dear Arima Kousei,
It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with…
You’re the worst.
Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.
The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in.
The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour palette. The melodies danced.
The girl next to me started crying. I wasn’t expecting that at all.
And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people’s lives. You’re the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.
(Cut to Kaori as a kid, telling her parents she’s giving up piano for violin because she wants Kousei to play again.)
When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I’d hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar. I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn’t really any space in there for someone like me.
When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I’d hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar. I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn’t really any space in there for someone like me.
When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn’t get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body.
One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out.
That’s when I ran away. I didn’t want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do. I wasn’t scared anymore to get contact lenses. I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight. And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted.
And then I told a lie. Just one. I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta.
And that lie brought you to me.
Please apologize to Watari for me… though I’m sure he’s forgotten me by now I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him. I think we’d be fine as friends though.
And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too. I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us. I don’t think she would’ve had an answer for me. After all, she was in love with you. We all knew that. I think the only people who didn’t know were you and her. That underhanded lie brought me to you didn’t work out the way I had imagined.
It was darker. And meaner. And denser. And more stubborn. And more perverted.
And softer. And more masculine. And sweet.
Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing. Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win. The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun. Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We’re awful singers. At the school at night. I’m still sure there was something there. The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms.
It’s strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage They’re unforgettable scenes to me. But they’re such little things. It’s weird, isn’t it?
What do you think? Do you think I made it into anyone’s heart like that? I wonder if I made it into yours. I wonder if you’ll still remember me.
If you forget me, I’ll just come back and.. No, I don’t want to start over. Please don’t forget me. Promise me you won’t forget me.
I’m glad it was you.
I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m sorry we couldn’t eat all those canelés. I’m sorry I hit you so much. I’m sorry I was so selfish.
I’m so, so, so, so sorry.
Thank you for everything.
Miyazono Kaori
Transition #1:The significance of this piece is the fact that when you have something important to say to that person, say it. You never know when that person is going to be gone from your life. You never know how much you impacted their life. Kaori decided to keep everything inside and not reveal her true feelings for Kousei. She lied to him, and we all know that we were taught at a young age to not lie. But a lie could always be better than the truth… right? Kaori helped Kousei regain his ability to play the piano again, and for that, she was satisfied. These types of confession letters are “killers,” “no pun intended”, but these serve a greater purpose. These types of letters let you know how they truly felt about you. Not all farewell messages are happy, some are made to reassure their loved ones that they were happy til the end.
– Title of Piece: Shin Joon Young’s Future Video
This is Shin Joon Young.
Um well, a few months ago I received word from a doctor that I don’t have much more time to live.
I was shocked but…
I mean, everyone dies eventually.
The thing I’m most worried about is that people that I love will think I was miserable in my last days.
I was truly happy.
And…
I was able to enjoy a lovely time. In some ways, realizing how finite one’s time is…
That it reveals truths that one has kept buried within them.
This illness is a blessing that granted me courage.
The doctor told me I have three months to live. Yesterday was the last day the doctor said that I would live to.
If you’re watching this video, I am alive?
Also what kind of life is the woman that I love, No Eul, is living now?
Transition #2: For those of you who don’t know what finite means, it’s having limits or bounds. Shin Joon Young was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He kept this secret from the people he loved the most until his final moments. For the most part, people usually assume that when a person is living the final days of their life, they may tend to think that, that person is probably really sad. He wanted his family and loved ones to know that he died happily. That the time Joon Young had left, he used them wisely. But now you bring in the what ifs… What if a person was perfectly fine, but couldn’t keep their promise of not dying? Will it still be ok, if they died in the line of duty? Some farewell letters maybe that person’s last will.
– Title of Piece: Yoo Shi Jin’s Will
Before we go on a mission, we write a will.
In the end, I hoped this letter would not find its way to you.
I haven’t kept my promise, my promise for you not to be worried, the promise to not be hurt, the promise not to die, and the promise that I would come back for sure.
Before we go on a mission, we write a will.
In the end, I hoped this letter would not find its way to you.
I haven’t kept my promise, my promise for you not to be worried, the promise to not be hurt, the promise not to die, and the promise that I would come back for sure.
I haven’t kept any of those promises, I’m sorry. In the place that you are, it is always bright.
I met you and I loved you. And for being apart from you, I’m really sorry for that.
I know that it’s shameless, but I’d like you not to cry for too long.
More than anyone else, you have to live well and brightly.
And don’t remember me for too long, I am asking for a favor.
Transition #3: Yoo Shi Jin died in the line of duty. Serving his country with pride, while keeping a promise. Some promises can’t be kept to the end. And he understood that, and with his unselfish personality. Shi Jin wanted his girlfriend not to mourn for him for too long. But losing someone doesn’t mean that they have to necessarily have to die. Now let’s move on to something more relatable. I’m guessing that all of you have best friends correct? “Show of hands please if you have a best friend”? “How many years have you been friends with your best friends”? “You’re basically family right”? “Thank you”. After many years of being together your best friend suddenly tells you that they want to pursue their passion. And they will be leaving to pursue that passion. How will you respond to that?
– Title of Piece: Goodbye Letters to Kang Gary
I will only be using 2 of the 6 letters instead of all 6. *Letters that are going to be used.
*Lee Kwang Soo’s Letter: (Male) Dear Gary hyung, I still can’t believe that you’re leaving. I regret that I haven’t expressed enough of my gratitude and apologies to you. I won’t get to see you every Monday from now on, but we’re already a family. I’ll call you more and I hope that we see each other more often. Dear Gary hyung, thank you so much. I love you forever.” – Kwang Soo
Kim Jong Kook’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, you know how I feel. It’s so difficult to write a letter like this to you. You worked hard for a long time. Stay healthy. Good luck in everything you do. We’ll still see each other, so let’s not be sad. I bought you a face massager so use it and become handsome. I hope you will transform.” – Jong Kook
Ji Suk Jin’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, I still can’t believe it. During the last seven years, we talked about many things. We shared a room together during mud games and waited for our turns to shower. On one hand, I was angry when I heard that you’re quitting, but I also understood you, so I was confused about what I felt. I’ll have to respect your wish. I love you, Gary.” – Suk Jin
Ha Dong Hoon’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, I can’t believe it. When the ratings weren’t that high in the beginning of Running Man, we spent the night at Han River. We prayed for things to turn out well at my house. We rolled on the floor laughing. I miss the times when we dreamed while drinking soju. I hope you’ll be healthy and have a wonderful family after you get married. Let’s grow old together. I love you. From Haha who’s more handsome than you.” – Haha
Yoo Jae Suk’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, it’s been seven years since we’ve been on Running Man together. Gary, I’ll think of you during next week’s recording. As I know what you want to achieve in the future, the other members and I support you in all your endeavors. Call me any time you want to be back on a variety show. Ok Gary? See you. It’s too embarrassing for me to continue, so I’ll stop here. See you again. I’ll call you. You did a good job.” – Jae Suk
*Song JI Hyo: (Female) “Gary, Gary, Gary oppa, this is Ji Hyo. I was very shocked when I heard that you’re leaving, so I was in a daze for a few days. I took for granted that until the very end, which we don’t know when, all of us would stay on this show. Perhaps, I was lost in that belief. I was upset and cried, but now that I think about it, I realized how difficult it must have been for you to make such a decision. I’m sorry about the things that I didn’t know about. I felt bad thinking about how hard it must have been for you. Now that you won’t be where you always used to be for the last seven years, I’ll feel sad and lonely, but I’ll stay strong. If you miss us too much, come back any time. No one can fill your place where you’ve been for the last seven years, so I’ll leave it for you.” – Ji Hyo
Transition #4: Kang Gary has been on the South Korean variety show Running Man for the past seven years. He devoted his heart and soul to the show. He has created unbreakable bonds with the other cast members. Though it wasn’t easy, he decided to leave the show so that he can further pursue his passion in music, respecting his decision, his cast members allowed him to leave the show.
Conclusion: When that time comes, when you lose someone who you care about, and they leave a gift for you, cherish it. Whatever it may be, it’s their last message for you. There are a lot of seniors in this class. We’ve gone through four years of high school. And that time is coming to an end. Soon, we will be the ones to say goodbye. Juniors, your time to say goodbye will also come. And when the time comes when you have to say goodbye to that person. Make it meaningful, and worthy of being a farewell message. Thank you.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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