Author’s Note: Hi, this is a written piece that I performed at my college’s event called ‘Stories From The Heart’. My inspirations for this piece are by BTS’ member Suga’s song called ‘First Love’ and the Korean Drama ‘Uncontrollably Fond’. I left some of Suga’s lyrics in this piece and I changed the parts to fit it into what I wanted my piece to portray. In the last section of this piece, I got from ‘Uncontrollably Fond’. This is not an original piece by any means. This is a piece that I combined together to share about how I viewed my Mom and Stepmom. I hope you enjoy this!
4 Minutes Read
I know someone who… was brave. Someone kind and gentle like water. Someone soft and light like a feather. Someone warm and loving like a hug. Someone amazing and unbelievable, like a miracle. Someone who dreamed and inspired like those stars far above. Someone who was unselfish and generous. Someone caring and motherly.
This person reminds me of… regret. She reminds me of the indescribable pain. She reminds me of sacrifice and silent lies. She reminds me of hatred and despair. She reminds me of hopelessness and loneliness. She reminds me of cruelty and endless tears. She reminds me of the freezing cold. She reminds me of the embarrassing heat. She reminds me of the quiet nights.
I remember those moments when she was so much taller than me. The woman who had guided me. I yearned for her when I turned my face up towards her. When I had touched her with my small baby fingers. I remember thinking to myself, “I feel so nice mom I feel so nice.” I grabbed onto hope wherever I could find it. I didn’t know your significance back then. Because I was happy and content just looking at you.
I remember back during my younger days. When I would get asked, “Do you miss her?” It didn’t matter which answer I gave. They were both wrong. I neglected you now when I once yearned for you so much. Your image has been neglected. Even then, I didn’t know your significance. No matter where I am. You always gave me strength. But I didn’t know that would be for the last time.
I remember back then in my teens. When I met you again, I was around 16 years old. I had completely forgotten what you looked like. That moment when I saw you. I knew who you were immediately. The awkwardness before we embraced was only for a moment. Even though you were gone for 16 years. Without repulsion or hesitation, you accepted me. Without you, there wouldn’t be me. I remember back then. We laughed, and we cried for all of those 16 years apart. Those days with you, those moments are now in distant memories.
I said to myself, “I really can’t do this anymore,” and every time I wanted to give up. I remember those words you uttered to me. “Don’t worry, ‘Ba Bao’ you can really do it,” I remember back then when I was fed up and lost. Back then, when I fell into the bottomless pit of desperation and despair. Even when I pushed you away, even when I resented meeting you. Somewhere inside me, told me to forgive and forget you.
I remember screaming internally, “Don’t leave like this!” Your eyes that gazed back at me, I imagine they told me. “‘Don’t worry,’ Even if I leave. You’ll do well on your own. I remember when I first met you. You were so small and fragile then. Before I knew it, you grew up taller than me. Though we are putting an end to our relationship. Don’t ever feel sorry for me. And don’t feel sorry for yourself.
I’ll keep my doors open, so please come by whenever you miss me. When a flower blooms, or when the wind blows… When it rains or snows, I’ll think that you have dropped by. Your birth and the end of your life. I will be there to watch over it all. No matter what form or whenever. I will get to meet you again. I’ll treat you really well then… I’ll cherish you, and love you… Like a real mother. Greet me happily at that time…”
The End
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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