Author’s Note: This piece is half of a poem, and half of it is a spoken word. It talks about the things I represent and the many identities I have. At this point, I’ve probably performed this piece about six or seven times now throughout my duration in college. I received the idea of creating this piece by seeing Terisa Siagatonu perform her spoken word piece “Raise Up” at the 2018 Asian and Pacific Islanders in the Higher Education Conference in Oakland, California. Her piece resonated so much with me, and understanding my identity as an Asian-American and how powerful our voices and stories are to our communities. So, I borrowed some components from her piece and also added some twists of my own to make it personal for me. I hope you enjoy it.
5 Minutes Read
My question to you is. What do you represent? You may be confused by that question. Do you represent yourself? Parents? Friends? Brothers? Sisters? Family? Ethnicity? Culture? School? I’m going to move on to something else, but keep thinking about it.
In June, I turned 20. After finishing my job for the day. I went home and ate. While I was eating, I was talking to my 85-year-old grandma. My grandma asked me. “How old are you turning today?” I said, “20.” Suddenly, she asked me, “When am I going to get married?” “When am I going to have kids?” And I choked on my food for a solid 10 seconds. Later on in our conversation, the question that was most difficult for me to answer was “When am I going to get my bachelor’s degree? At this point, her voice was weak and soft. I told her, “Soon.” Which is a lie. But she understands that the lies I tell her are not lies. Because she was the one who taught me that. People keep secrets for a reason. And the truth can be worse than any lie to cover it up.
I represent her hopes and dreams.
The Hmong were involved in the Secret War in Laos. The war lasted from 1961 to 1975. In those 14 years, 30,000 Hmong soldiers died. Those soldiers always lived with a shroud on. When they die in a nameless place for the sake of that war, the place of their death becomes their grave, and their uniform becomes their shroud. These soldiers’ ages ranged from 12 to 60-year-olds. The war may have ended in 1975, but the killing didn’t. That was when the genocide began. Between 1975 and 1985, 100,000 Hmong people died trying to flee to other countries. Another 50,000 died just from trying to cross the Mekong River from Laos to Thailand.
Due to our cooperation in fighting for the US in Laos. The Vietnamese government ordered all Hmong people to be killed. But you wouldn’t know this. Because it’s not in our K-12 History books. My grandma told me stories of her experience during those hellish years in Laos. One of her friends from her village volunteered to be a nurse in the war when it first began. When my grandma was able to see her friend again ten years later, her friend told my grandma that “A doctor with a scalpel sees more death than a soldier with a gun.”
I represent those Hmong soldiers’ sacrifices.
With that knowledge about how difficult it was for my ancestors to come to the US. I used that as motivation to obtain a quality education. Because I know that this is a privilege! I’m here not trying to disappoint my ancestors and my fellow Hmong brothers and sisters. Who may have left those refugee camps… But their souls and spirits are still in the refugee camps in Thailand.
In my freshman year in high school. There were 17 Hmong students in my projected graduating class of 2017. Four years later, on graduation night. Only 16 Hmong students graduated. From Chico High. But only 4 of us were committed to a four-year university. Two years later, I met those twelve students who didn’t go to a four-year university again. Six of them don’t want to pursue education anymore.
I represent the Hmong youths that hasn’t been brought down by a system and society built against us.
When I attended a conference 8 months ago in April for Asian Pacific Americans in Higher Education. Also known as APAHE. In one of the workshops I attended there, the presenters asked us to participate in an activity. We were given a prompt to create lyrics and perform them for the people who were in that workshop session. The prompt was “What do you represent?” So naturally, I volunteered. And I began with…
Represent Represent!
And this is what I rep! I represent the silent ones. I represent the ones that never won. They expected me to fail. But nah. I ain’t like that. I’m tough as nails, smooth like ale, and cold like hail. They try to color my future like the Mekong. While trying to make us forget about the napalms. But don’t worry, it won’t take long. Till I’m at the top. Because I’m never going to stop until I drop. That’s because I represent myself, my legacy, and the Hmong.
So ask yourself, what do you represent?
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Nyob Zoo! Thank you for clicking on this piece. The idea of writing this piece came from a community called Hmong Legacy. Hmong Legacy supports Hmong students by creating a sense of community and empowerment. This allows students a great opportunity to create a connection with Hmong students and personal growth. Hmong Legacy has been around CSU, Chico since the Spring Semester of 2018. And ever since then, it’s grown and expanded.
The first time I wrote about this topic was about my mom(s). I’ve already written a piece about ‘Family’ from one of the Hmong Legacy workshops. I didn’t want to revisit this topic because of repetition. But I came back to the topic of family because my grandma passed away this past March. And ever since then, I haven’t really thought about my grandma and her existence. More because I was running away from my feelings and not wanting to think about it. I spilled all the tears I wanted to before and after her death.
While writing this piece, it was difficult to remember all the things my grandma had once told me when I was younger. It made me wish that I had been more patient as a child and as a teenager to sit more with her and listen to her. Ideally, I wanted to use more Hmong words within this piece, but my end rhymes in English were better, so I went with that option instead. For the most part, the Hmong parts should be translated into English already. Around eight or nine people told me that I made them cry after the event was done. It really made me thankful and happy that many others can relate and feel connected to my relationship with my grandma. To My Grandma, Zoua Lor
5 Minutes Read
You will experience the tragic loss of a loved one in your lifetime. There’s no other way to get around it; everyone dies for various reasons, some are reckless, and they die young, or they grow old and slowly fade away. A loved one could be someone who inspired you, it could be a role model, your best friend, a family member, basically, anyone who is important to you. We all know that sooner or later, the time will come for all of us to leave. My grandma, unfortunately, passed away this past March.
My grandma took care of me when no one else did. She would often get asked, “Those aren’t your kids, so why are you taking care of them?” The phrase I always hear my grandma say is “I raise them because I love their eyes.” (Lawv tsis yog koj yug, vim li cas koj hlub. Kuv hlub lawv ob lub qhov muag, kuv thiaj li hlub law.) I had a different relationship with my grandma than anyone else. I was her favorite. The favorite among both her children and grandchildren. No, I didn’t ask or do anything special for my grandma to become her favorite. It just naturally happened, and I’m the person I am today because of her.
Me nyuam ntsuag. The literal translation of this from Hmong to English means a child without parents. It is a derogatory term used to degrade people in the Hmong community who don’t have parents. My parents divorced when I was six months old. My father won my brother’s and my custody in court. I don’t necessarily fit all the criteria to be placed into that category, of being a me nyuam ntsuag. But growing up, I felt like one. And the only person who held me down was my grandma.
Grandma, I remember the words you would tell me when I used to feel down. “It took me 3 years to make your body and heart strong. Don’t let someone else destroy it when I’m gone.” Even when you would lecture me, I knew you were doing it for my benefit. You said to me. “Luag tias kom paub tab, txhob ua neeg poob qab los lawv yeej tos ntsoov thaum yus yuav poob.” The translation is: “They say to grow up and not be a failure. But they’re already wishing for your downfall.” And now, when I think about you, all I remember is the various things you would lecture me about. You would always start off with.
My grandson Manting Always be kind and humble, and don’t let others stumble. Don’t eat too many chips, and make sure to wipe your lips. Find a wife who will brighten up your life. It’s okay to cry, instead of faking a smile and lying. Smile more, because you’re naturally a happy person deep down to your core. Even if you’re far away, just know you’ve done enough in your day. Love yourself, feel lost, but never doubt yourself. You deserve to be happy, and one day your kids will call you daddy. Don’t be sad if you can’t call me on your phone; just know you’re never alone. Because you’re still in my heart, even when we’re far apart.
There are many more things you’ve taught me. But it’ll be too long to name them all. I know I said all the things I wanted to tell you before you left already. But in case you’re wondering how I am, here it is.
Nyob zoo kuv grandma. Now you aren’t suffering anymore, are you smiling more? Rain or shine, your foolish grandson is doing fine. I’m thinking too much nowadays because I’ll be going far away. I’ve gotten really busy, but compared to you, my life is easy. I’m trying to eat all three meals, but don’t worry, your cooking is always the real deal. As hard as it may be, please be patient with me. I know I said goodbye then, but I know I will see you again.
I’ll continue to slowly work for my future. In the end, I’ll win. Because I’m your grandson, Manting. (Kuv mam li maj mam khwv rau kuv lub neej, Thaum kawg, kuv mam li yog tu yeej. Vim kuv yog koj tub xeeb ntxwv, Manting.)
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well. Sorry about this first part, it’s a long explanation and filler about what you’re going to read. This story touches on things such as; people’s inner thoughts, the things we think about when we’re alone when people are depressed, the feeling of loneliness, people’s unspoken thoughts, and the desires people want in life and the desires they can’t have.
I gained the idea of writing this from a community called Hmong Legacy. Hmong Legacy supports Hmong students by creating a sense of community and empowerment. This allows students with a great opportunity to create a connection with Hmong students and personal growth. Hmong Legacy has been around CSU, Chico since the Spring Semester of 2018. And ever since then, it’s grown and expanded.
There was a topic that came up both times during the Spring 2018 and Fall 2019 semesters. That topic was about ‘Family.’ And if you’ve read my other stories or writings, you know that my interpretation of the ‘word’ family is very… difficult for me to describe. I’m somewhere in between, a family doesn’t matter, and indifferent about family. I’m not going to go into detail about what I mean but just know that I can do it with or without family. Basically, it’s not a necessity to me like maybe other people who value the word, family.
Can we agree that dreams are weird sometimes? Not like dreams and aspirations of wanting to become something in the future. But like dreams when people go to sleep. Weird might not be the best description of what I’m trying to say. But hopefully, you get what I mean. Like maybe one night you dream you’re a school teacher and then the next night you dream of flying across the sky on a rocket to Mars… No one? Just me? Okay…
Anyways, dreams are cool but weird at the same time. I’m not going into the scientific side of dreams and all that stuff because I’m not an expert in that field. I’m going to stop here with a brief context of why I’m writing this. And if you do finish reading this story, then you’ll see the rest of my explanation at the end. So, sit back, relax, and I hope some parts of this story can connect or resonate with you.
19 Minutes Read
I woke up one day… and it just felt surreal. Like I didn’t dread waking up. No, it wasn’t the weekend, although I do love Saturdays. It’s like one of those days where you wake up and you feel alive. Like you feel happy to be alive. Feeling like today is going to be the best day of your life due to an event, special occasion, etc. I lay in bed breathing in the crisp morning air that sneaks in through my slightly opened window.
I look down at the blanket that is embracing my body. A huge smile appears on my face. It’s just not any old blanket. It’s my green baby blanket. My baby blanket has one cartoonish-looking brown bear imprinted on the blanket. There’s a little bear who looks like a baby cub. The baby bear is gripping a string attached to three balloons. Each balloon has a different color. The left one is yellow, the middle is blue, and the right one is pink. There are also flowers surrounding the bears. The old vibrant green is now faded and light. It’s the single longest possession I have in my life.
The sounds of music softly enter the room. I couldn’t really hear what the music was or who the artist was. It was probably a kpop song or some smooth R&B. I sat up from lying down still wondering why I was so happy. I looked to my right and on the small black nightstand, there was a small note lying on top. Curious about what could be on the note, I reached over to grab the letter. The bed let out a small creak when I shifted my body weight to grab the note. I yawned and stretched my arms and legs before I read the note. “There’s some breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. I’m really excited, it’s finally the big day! Teela is helping me so don’t worry. See you later today!”
I was puzzled while reading the note. Who’s the person who wrote this letter? And who is Teela? I walked out of the bedroom towards the bathroom. It was connected to the bedroom. I turned on the light and saw the cardinal-colored toothbrush next to my white toothbrush. The cardinal toothbrush probably belongs to one of them. I washed my face and I stood there looking at my reflection in the mirror. And again I was uncontrollably smiling. Is it because of the person who wrote the note? I walked out of my bedroom and towards the kitchen. The smell of yummy food guided me. I sat down and ate away at my breakfast. I thought to myself that this food is really good. Whoever the person is, they can cook. After finishing my meal, I placed the dishes in the sink and went back to my room.
I opened my closet and I immediately noticed a fine white suit with my name tag stuck on it. Before I was able to do anything else, I heard a knock from the front door. I quickly went to greet the guest who visited me. I opened the door and a flash of light overtook me. When I regained consciousness, I was in my white suit at a really large venue. I was shaking hands with the various people who were entering the venue. They kept saying congratulations to me and handing me gifts.
I had no idea why they were being so kind and generous to me. My friends, colleagues, mentors, teachers, professors, uncles, cousins, and everyone of importance to me was here. It wasn’t until the fifth or sixth guest asked me “Where’s your soon-to-be wife at?” My mind went blank for a couple of seconds and I had a light bulb moment. In my head, I was internally screaming. “This is my wedding!!!” It all started making sense now. There are still some things I’m confused about but this answered many questions I previously had.
After greeting and thanking everyone for attending my wedding. I finally had time to myself to rest and reflect on this moment in my life. I wandered around for a bit to find a quiet and serene place. I didn’t realize the venue was so big. Somehow, I ended up on the rooftop. I noticed my mind has been really forgetful lately. Maybe it’s because of all the things that are happening today.
A slight breeze coming in from the east calms my mind. I stare off toward the nearby cherry blossoms on the ground. I began to think about my life. I thought about the many ‘wants’ I always wished for growing up. Marriage is one of those wants. And now I’m close to obtaining it. But there are many other things I still wanted. I might sound too greedy for wanting this… but growing up. I always wished I had a sister.
I had an older brother and that was alright I guess. I wanted a sister in general, but specifically a younger sister possibly. Someone who would look up to me as their role model. But then… I think of my life and I suddenly don’t wish for a sister. I don’t want a blood sister in this lifetime. I don’t want her to experience the hardships I experienced in this cruel world. All those hungry nights? No. All those emotionally abusive nights? No. All that pain and suffering? No. She can’t… Not that I don’t believe my sister is strong. I believe she will have the strongest willpower between my sibling and me.
I want her to save her tears for something or someone that she’ll actually love and care about. I believe that my sister would be beautiful both inside and outside. I mean, if I’m cute already. Then, my sister is going to be beautiful. But I’ll probably be too scared for her. Just knowing how twisted and evil some men are, I would be too afraid of her well-being. She’ll be the best version of both my brother and I. Even with all of that, I do still wish for a sister, just not in this lifetime.
I wiped away the tears gathering around my eyes. I took a deep breath and I went back into the venue. I got lost on where I was going and I ended up at a place where I was not supposed to. I ended up in front of the bride’s room. There was a label on top of the door to signify it. In the Hmong culture, you can see the bride before the wedding. But in American culture, it’s deemed bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony. My curiosity got the better of me so I stepped close to the door with the intent of opening it to see my wife. Before I made contact with the doorknob, I heard an angry woman’s voice saying something to me. I turned around to see a girl around the same height as me running up to me.
She ran up and gave me a pretty good jab onto the side of my stomach. “You know you’re not supposed to see the bride before the ceremony.” said the woman. “Ouch, that really hurts. Wait, hold on. What? And who are you?” I said confusedly while in pain. “Are you okay? I didn’t hit you that hard. Or I guess I did and that made you forget your own sister?” the stranger said cheerfully. “Yeah, it hurts… Wait. Did you just say, sister?” I asked slowly. “Yeah, I’m your sister. Come on bro. Why are you acting so weird? I know I look great in this dress but you should see my sister-in-law. She’s gorgeous!” said my sister. I can’t tell if she’s lying or not but with the way she’s talking to me, I’ll just assume that she’s telling the truth.
She’s around my height, so like around 5’5 or 5’6. A natural color mixture of brown and black hair. Defined jawline. Cute smile. Small lips. Honey brown eyes. Regularly sized forehead. Her hands are a bit bigger than mine. Those are the physical features I’m able to remember anyway. She’s wearing a beautiful blue dress with white accents. But, I’m still thinking about the jab she hit me with so I could be totally wrong in all of them. “So, why can’t I see my wife again?” I asked innocently. “It’s an American wedding, but it’s also a Hmong wedding. So, I guess it doesn’t matter. But if it helps you two to see each other before the ceremony. By all means, go for it.” said my sister.
“I want to give you this before it is too late because you’ll be too busy dancing and talking to all your wonderful guests.” said my sister. She took out an envelope and a small tissue package. Before she gave me the items, she pulled me in for a warm long hug. “I’m so proud of you big bro. You can either read it now after I leave or read it once everything has calmed down. I made sure to pack some tissues for you because I know you cry easily.” my sister teasingly said to me.
My sister handed me the envelope and tissues. I watched her walk away cheerfully and once I couldn’t see her anymore. I opened the envelope to find a letter. I took the letter out of the envelope and I noticed it was actually a couple of pages long.
To: Manting Xiong
From: Teela Xiong
“Hi, big bro! It’s your younger sister, Teela!
I know you adore handwritten letters so I made sure to write one for you. First of all, congratulations! You’re getting married! I’m so proud of you. Although you’ll probably hear that very often today and tonight. I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I know he doesn’t say it at all but I want you to know big big bro is proud of you too. He can be very difficult at times but that’s a part of family. They should tell you how they feel but they’re too shy sometimes. I’m sure your biological Mom is very proud of you. I remember what you told me when you asked Mom what she thought of my sister-in-law.
Mom didn’t approve of it. It’s okay though because you have me and all of these wonderful people who came to your wedding! And you are the one that has to be happy. She’ll come around eventually, I know it for sure. My sister-in-law has a way of bringing people together. So, don’t be sad if she’s not here today. And I know you don’t want to talk about Dad but he tried, we all know that… He just didn’t try hard enough. Good people make mistakes, that doesn’t make them bad people.
It just means they’re human. But some people make more mistakes than others. And in the process, many people are hurt deeply. And many others, they’re still healing from it. You have such a big heart but that means you need the most time to heal too. Also with grandma… She loved you the most. You know you were the favorite. She took care of us when we weren’t even her own. She always loved your eyes. She’s proud of you too big bro. Remember when she would always ask you “When are you getting married?” And you were sixteen at that time! She was very eager to see your grandchildren. Don’t be sad about her not being here. She’s watching from far above. She’s in a better place now. Although, I do wish my sister-in-law could’ve met her in person. Grandma would’ve praised her for how beautiful she was.
Whether you know it or not, you’re an inspiration to me, big bro! Because in you, I see an amazing, awesome, brave, charismatic, compassionate, courageous, dedicated, gentle, great, hardworking, hopeful, humorous, incredible, intelligent, kind, mindful, motivated, passionate, resilient, strong, understanding, and vulnerable person. All these things make you a leader. Continue to cultivate these things because they will bring you success and take you far. You have such high potential and a bright future. You give and bring hope to others and you are a role model to many. But I also wonder if you’re really fine… Is it really worth it in the end even after all those painful sufferings you experienced?
I know how you feel. You’ve been through too much. Remember to take a deep slow breath. Letting the air into you until both sides of your heart feel senseless. Until it hurts you a little. Then, slowly let out all the breath you have. Keep letting it out until you feel like there’s nothing left inside you. Running out of breath is fine. No one will blame you. It’s okay to make mistakes sometimes because no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes. Even adults make mistakes when they’re old and when they are our age. There’s a first time for everything.
It’s alright, we just need to go through it and grow, go ahead and cry. I remember seeing you cry for the first time. To be honest I was taken aback to see my big brother cry in front of me. I realized only then how difficult it must’ve been for you. You did your best to protect me. Let it all out, screw what others think to see you cry. I know crying brings you comfort because you’ve endured it all for too long. I already know you had a day that’s hard enough. Letting out even a small tear brings you comfort. Just let it out like that big bro…
Feeling better? Good, I’m happy that helped. But now you’ve found the one! You gotta let me in on the secret though! How in the heck did you get her to pick you?! You outdid yourself with this one big bro, I’m joking! I didn’t know you liked this type of woman?! Okay fine, I’ll stop teasing you now. Oh yeah, how did you propose to her? Was it something cliche? Or was it romantic? You gotta tell me these things after. I asked my sister-in-law but she said she’ll share it after the wedding. Just tell me the tea, please.
I’m grateful she chose you. I told you, that waiting all this time would pay off. Now I won’t have to worry too much about you. She’ll take care of you now. She’ll hold you at night when you’re alone. She’ll make you delicious food. She’ll be the one to care for my nieces and nephews. She’ll love you like you deserve to be loved. She’ll care for you when you’re sick. When you feel tired from a long day, she’ll be there to comfort you. When you fall down, she’ll be there to pick you back up. I know you’ll do all these things for her too big bro.
She’ll have these privileges and opportunities that I won’t have. I won’t be able to do those things for you anymore big bro. We both know I don’t have much time left anyway. Congratulations again on your marriage big bro. I will forever be grateful to have a big brother like you Ting. A big brother who continued to believe in the good of the world even when the world gave you every reason not to. I’ll try to come to visit you two soon. You’re doing enough. You’re doing just fine. I know you and you’re trying your best right now. That’s all you need. Just keep your pace. You did a great job today, you worked so hard. You are my prize. Bye, big bro…
I finished reading the letter. It’s a good thing Teela gave me these tissues. She really is my sister. Not a lot of people know I cry easily. A part of me wants to run to my sister and give her a hug. I hesitated on going after her. At that moment, the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard called out my name. Asking me to enter the room. I had forgotten, I came here to see my wife. As I opened the door. Another flash of light overtook me. That was when I woke up from my dream.
The End
Hello everyone! And with that comes the end of my story; Letter From Your Sister. I want to say thank you to you the readers who have taken the time to read this story. I hope you were able to enjoy it. I apologize if I made you cry. For the most part, I had dreamt I was getting married. I never met my wife in my dream. I was only able to greet the people who were at my wedding. So, everything else I added to create this story. Growing up I never had a good definition of what family is. To me, a family was just another word for people or friends that were closer to you in terms of relationship and connection.
It didn’t mean anything else to me. I thought that way due to my experience of growing up in my ‘family’ which wasn’t really a family. It was just a group of individuals surviving life that so happened to live together. More often than not, my friends became my family more than the real family I lived with. You know when the shit hits the fan and your family is supposed to hold you down right? I never had that growing up. I held myself down because I was the only person I could faithfully rely on. So, I often see family as something that doesn’t have to be blood-related.
Other people can become your family too. Now I have people who aren’t even related to me that I call family. In the future, I hope I can redefine that word for myself so I can cultivate and nurture a family. This will probably be my last writing and story for a while. The semester is starting to get really busy. Plus, I’m also working on other things on the side. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope everyone stays safe, stays healthy, and I hope this year treats you well. Bye!
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello there. I’m an EOP (Educational Opportunity Program) student at CSU, Chico. As an EOP student, I was given an opportunity to go live in the dorms at CSU, Chico with my other EOP peers in my incoming class for two weeks during the summer. During Summer Bridge we were given the opportunity to write a short letter to our future selves. We would see these letters again after our first year was done. When I got my letter back, my paraprofessional told me many of my fellow classmates cried after reading their letters. I didn’t tear up but I definitely felt emotional with a sense of relief. Like holy shit, I completed my first year of college. Anyways, enjoy!
2 Minutes Read
Dear Future Manting, Hey bro! Look I know how uncertain you feel about attending college. Summer Bridge wasn’t a wake-up call but I know you were a bit intimidated after receiving so much info from Summer Bridge. You’ll have a lot of stuff to do; schoolwork, social life, job, license, etc… I know you’re worried about all of that. BUT! You have done so many amazing things in the past and you’ve persevered through a lot of difficult trials. Believe in yourself, your ability, and don’t give up. You’ve made it this far, time to take it to the next level my friend. I’d hope by the end of freshmen year, you haven’t failed your classes and quit. So, make sure to go to Student Services Center. I know you have the “Do it by yourself mentality” but we both know you will need help along the way. So don’t forget to ask for it. See you after the first year! – Manting Xiong
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello. Wow, where to even begin on this mess… Hmm… So, obviously from the title this is a time capsule from jr. high eighth grade Manting to high school senior Manting. When I entered high school, I anticipated this time capsule for the longest time. As I got older, I began to not think about this so much. And as if it was waiting for me, in the second semester of my senior year. It arrived. I vividly remember some of the answers I wrote but not all of them. And oh my god. My grammar was so horrible. It’s gotten better now, but my god it was so eye-opening rereading it. Not to mention even my handwriting was atrocious. We were assigned to write and finish this in my English class. Thus, some of my written answers weren’t as considerate or thoughtful as I would’ve liked them to be. My English teacher (Mrs. Price) was great, I just didn’t learn well. No way could she have saved my horrible handwriting or my grammar mistakes.
Expect a lot of profanity. I forgot how much profanity I used during my jr. high days. I swear I was mature during jr. high too. It just won’t be shown in this time capsule. I do apologize beforehand for that. In the sense of authenticity, I didn’t fix grammar errors or make sentences more complete. I wrote most things word for word… But I did change some things that were too horrible to ignore. Overall, this isn’t censored so some things are going to be bad… ish…
I’m going to reanswer the time capsule questions again at the very end of this. It’ll be more serious and thoughtful this time. Since, I’ve gotten older and obtained more knowledge, maybe reanswering these questions will give you an insight into how I’ve changed since eighth grade. This is by far one of the cringiest things I’ve done. Hopefully, you’ll get a few laughs or chuckles from this. Enjoy!
31 Minutes Read
Time Capsule Questions: To Be Opened In Four Years (2017)
My favorite song of the year.
Person I most enjoy being with.
What I like to do in my spare time.
Describe your favorite shirt.
Your favorite possession.
Favorite teacher and why?
Favorite class and why?
Dream career.
Where do you sit at lunch and with whom?
What do you talk about.
Describe a wall/vignette in your room.
Six words that describe eighth grade.
What are you glad to be leaving behind?
What do you most look forward to?
What would you like to ‘pass down’ and to which sevie would you like to dedicate it too?
What elective are you taking next year?
What are you most hopeful about?
What is your biggest worry/concern about in high school?
What is your biggest worry/concern about life?
What advice can you give to incoming seventh graders to help them be successful next year?
What advice do you give next year’s eighth graders?
What do you expect high school to be like?
What goal have you set for yourself to be accomplished in the next year?
What goal have you set for yourself to be accomplished in the next four years?
What is the most serious thing that happened to you this year and how did you overcome it?
What advice do you give yourself?
What value is the most important to you and why?
What is one thing you secretly wish for?
What advice can you offer teachers?
What advice can you offer parents?
What brings you joy?
What do you know for sure?
Describe yourself in the year 2017.
Answers to Time Capsule Questions
Manting Xiong 5/31/13 Per 5
Dear Senior Manting, It’s good to see you again you sexy looking man. Hey, remember these 33 things you wrote down in eighth grade English class?
Favorite song of the year is Lil Crazed – The Good Life
The person I enjoyed mast with was with Eric Xiong, Kou Yang, A Lo, Anthony Lo, and Yaze Xiong.
I practiced break dancing in my free time.
My favorite was the living the dream where it shows a kid sitting down and playing games.
My favorite possein was my awesome calculator: Team Player
Ms. Price cus she was nice teacher & she didn’t give out too much homework.
4th period Leadership was my favorite class because everyday I got to see my crush.
A youtuber or Achievement Hunter LPer.
I sit with my Asian Group.
Girls, Games, asshole teachers, plus High School.
I have pictures of myself.
Cool, badass, shit, amazing, legit, swag.
Some of the bitchass staffs.
See some of my old friends in High school.
None/ Ben Travers
Leadership/Choir
Homework/relationships
My boners.
Getting to marry my crush.
Don’t Give Up!
Don’t have sex!
Hard as fuck!
Lose weight!
Get myself a girlfriend my crush.
Leadership communciting service hours.
Don’t Fuck Up.
My life.
To be rich!
Don’t be Fags!
Same ↑ Shit
See her smile every day.
Some people Are little bitches.
I would be muscular, I would have a girlfriend, I would graduate, I wouldn’t have lost my V card, I would have a better life.
Special: 8th grade crushes
Sadie Pressman and Hayley Colwes
Wow… What a rollercoaster ride that was. Okay, here is the explanation for each answer. And also more serious answers to the questions.
1. Favorite Song of the Year? In jr. high, the main artist I listened to was Lil Crazed. I stopped listening to Lil Crazed once I got into high school. I don’t know why. I think it was just natural. I was groovin’ to his music like I used to. It was just eh. But yeah, I actually got the title wrong. It’s K.i.D – The Good Life.
Now, my favorite artist is GOT7 and my favorite song from them is called ‘Let Me’. In general, Kpop is my main genre of music now.
2. Person I most enjoy being with? My favorite people I used to hang out with are my Hmong classmates. I forgot to mention the seventh graders that also hung out with us. Essentially, we were a large group. Some people in our group weren’t able to be in the picture.
Once we got into high school. We drifted apart. It wasn’t an instant change but gradually I started to hang out less and less with them. Maybe, it was because I kept taking different classes from them. They wanted to stick together and take the same courses together while I wanted to experience newer things. I took classes that they didn’t take. Maybe that was when we started to drift apart from each other. It was still fun when we had the same classes together in jr. high, but I wanted to challenge myself and see how much I can grow and change from being in an environment apart from them. In the end, I was able to grow and learn more about myself. But that also meant that my friendship with them deteriorated. Because even if they didn’t tell me. I can see that many of them saw it as me leaving them. In some way, I alienated myself from them. That was when I started to get comfortable doing things on my own; becoming a Lone Wolf.
Who do I hang out with nowadays? Nowadays I hang out with the friends I’ve made from EOP in Summer Bridge. But we don’t have a lot of free time to actually hang out together. Everyone is so busy that we’ll only hang out together as our EOP group maybe once or twice per semester. But I’m still on my own a lot of the time. I’ve gotten used to the lone-wolf mentality. I’m used to eating by myself too. I know some people find it extremely difficult to eat alone but for me, it doesn’t really matter.
3. What do I like to do in my spare time? In jr. high, break dancing was the biggest new trend for my group and me. Whenever we had free time after school, we would practice breakdancing. I wasn’t very good. It was fun though, so I didn’t really care. If you want to see another cringy thing of my past, here’s the link to our one performance as a group. https://youtu.be/mzg9LX4tSyY
What do I like to do in my spare time now? Listening to music, singing, dancing, writing, playing video games, and playing volleyball. Nothing too special or different. I don’t break dance anymore though.
4. Describe your favorite shirt. This was the shirt I was talking about. Living The Dream…
What’s my favorite shirt now? I don’t really have one to be honest. I’m not a fashionable person even though people tell me that I dress like a fuck boy. So, I don’t know how to describe my fashion sense or taste.
5. Your favorite possession. In junior high, I had a calculator I used for math. I got it from the lost and found bin at my school. It had a slidey thing that you had to slip over the screen and the buttons. Inside the slidey thing, ‘Team Player’ was written in permanent marker on the slidey thing. So, that is how my calculator became my favorite possession.
My favorite possession now… hmm… I would say my favorite possession is the bronze/ gold medal I received from Chico Rotary Club. I received it in 2013 (The same year I wrote this time capsule) for the Outstanding Citizenship Award. I was actually very surprised when I heard my name being called up for it. No one told me about it and I wasn’t expecting it at all. I was one of two students who received the award. The other recipient was a girl called Hayley Colwes. The only way that I must’ve won it was my Leadership teacher; Mr. Andy Wahl telling Chico Rotary Club about me. And if a Chico Rotary Club Rep is reading this. I sincerely thank you for selecting me for this award. Oddly enough, in my senior year. I also got bestowed a scholarship from the Chico Rotary Club Foundation too. So, I guess it came in full circle from my eighth-grade year to my senior year.
6. Favorite teacher and why? I answered with Mrs. Price. She was really chill and taught us well. She always answered our questions thoroughly and never belittle us. I always enjoyed going to her class in my eighth-grade year.
My favorite teacher ever is gotta be Mrs. Delgardo. Mrs. Delgardo was my choir teacher from my freshmen year of high school to the end of my junior year of high school. Unfortunately, she retired at the end of my junior year. But I wished she would’ve taught us for my senior year. And then retire. She was the one who taught me the importance of music and singing. And how joyous it could enrich our lives. Choir was a class I always looked forward to in my high school years. Well, not so much in my senior year. And that was due to having a new timid music teacher and privileged shitty classmates. But I won’t get into that. That’s a story for another day. If you’re wondering what kind of drama that was, then you’ll have to wait. Because I’ll make sure to write it. Other than my senior year, the choir was great. It was a big stress reliever and there was always positive vibes in the classroom.
7. Favorite class and why? I’m shaking my head while I’m writing this. What a corny thing to say/ write. Really younger Manting? He wasn’t wrong though. The fourth period was my favorite class not because of seeing my old crush. But because it was fun and I got to work in an environment that was really out of my comfort zone. Which made me improve my interpersonal and intrapersonal skills. The students who were in the class were very nice and supportive too. It was a good environment to be in. And getting to be around pretty girls was a plus 😀
Overall I always enjoyed classes like Leadership or Student Government. I loved working on behind-the-scenes stuff, planning and executing events. Hell, even cleaning up events was always fun. So for my favorite class in high school, it was either Student Government or Choir. But I would probably choose Choir over Student Government. I had more fond and positive memories in Choir than I did in Student Government. I actually took both Student Government and Choir both in the same year during my junior year. Granted I didn’t have a lot of free time because I was always doing something but it was still fun nonetheless. It kept me busy and distracted me from problems I had at home.
8. Dream career. My dream career when I was younger was to be a Youtuber or be a part of Rooster Teeth. Specifically, part of Achievement Hunter in Rooster Teeth. During jr. high, the trend of doing challenges and recreating trendy stuff was the new big thing. PSY’s Gangnam Style and many other things like that became the new ‘big’ thing. So, I thought becoming a YouTuber was the way to. And that was when I also started to watch a lot of entertainment company videos and gaming videos. Like Rooster Teeth and The Creatures. I even began my own youtube channel that had me commentating while playing a video game. You’ll never find it because I deleted it a long time ago. That was a long time ago though.
Dream career now… I’m trying to become a History teacher… so that’s my dream career? But in all honesty, my dream career would either be a professional volleyball player or a Korean Pop Idol. Those two occupations are something that I love to do. I love playing volleyball and I love to sing and dance. With volleyball, I’m just too short of a player to play front row with all these tall players. I love to pass and play back row too but I become more alive and empowered while playing front row. If I was taller, more athletic, and had more hops. Maybe then I could become a professional volleyball player. As for the dream career to become a Kpop Idol. You would have to be scouted at a young age (elementary – jr. high) and then go through X amount of years of training. Until the company you’re training at, deems you’re ready to debut. And for that to happen, you have to be very hard-working and have some amount of talent, to begin with. Hard work will always beat out talent. If someone has both a great work ethic and talent. No matter how much hard work you put in. You’ll never overcome that. I’m already past the age of becoming a Kpop trainee. I’m not good at singing or dancing too. So, maybe in another lifetime. I’ll be more blessed with those skills to pursue them.
9. Where do you sit at lunch and with whom? I mostly sat with my Hmong group. Nothing special about it. We would usually walk around campus or stand around and chill in one of the hallways or by the basketball courts in jr. high.
10. What do you talk about? Not much has changed since then. I still talk about the same things. But now with different people. My EOP group of friends and I talk about girls, games, work, the future, our past, sports, and college. We don’t talk about teachers or professors much anymore. Pretty much whatever is hot at the moment on the internet will become the main topic of whomever we talk to in life.
11. Describe a wall/vignette in your room. I still have pictures of myself that are hung up around my room. But over Thanksgiving break, I purchased my first ever Kpop album from the group called Berry Good. A large poster came with the album. That poster is always the first and last thing I see before going to sleep.
12. Six words that describe eighth grade. Fun. Thankful. Realization. Privilege. Busy. Laughable.
1. Fun – I was able to have an enjoyable eighth-grade year. Leadership was always fun to attend. P.E. wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be. English was nice with Mrs. Price.
2. Thankful – Thankful for the opportunities I was able to experience due to Leadership and Mr. Wahl.
3. Realization – This wasn’t so much for eighth grade as it was for my home life. I realized a lot of things at home this year.
4. Privilege – I kinda understood privilege a bit more due to Leadership. I was able to do things other non – leadership students weren’t able to do.
5. Busy – I felt pretty busy in my eighth-grade year. In Leadership, one of our assignments for each semester was to do 10 – 20 hours of community service in Chico. The way to record your community service hours was after an event you helped out at. You would bring your community service sheet with you and have one of the supervisors at that event sign it. Once you’ve obtained the necessary amount of community service hours. You would then turn in the sheet to Mr. Wahl and receive points for it. I always went overbroad and do more than the necessary amount.
6. Laughable – Eighth grade was laughable because thinking back to it. There are things I did that make me cringe or think “What was I doing?” Bringing some good and bad memories back into my head.
13. What are you glad to be leaving behind? Okay, now tis one… As Kevin Hart would say “Let Me Explain.” There were a handful of staff at Chico Jr. that I didn’t like. I still had a good education at CJHS but not all the staff were friendly or kind to minority students like myself. I had two incidents where I was called into the vice principal’s office and one incident of being called into the counselors’ office. The incident with me being called into the counselors’ office and then into the vice principal’s office are linked. And then the second time I went to the vice principal’s office was something different.
My first incident was during my seventh-grade year. This incident was both with my counselor and the vice principal. It was all related to my P.E. teachers and my grade in P.E. This is going to be a long explanation. So, in my first semester, my P.E. teacher was Mr. Brown. Old white dude with a white goatee. He always wore a straw hat and sunglasses. I don’t know why but every P.E. teacher at CJHS wore sunglasses. Don’t know why, but I can probably figure it out. Just not going to say it… Anyways, Mr. Brown would never input points or grades. Never. He would wait until like the final month and then insert our grades into Aeries. Aeries is the portal account used by Chico Unified School District to track grades, attendance, graduation progress (high school), etc. He had us turn in a lot of assignments that were related to the sport/ unit we were currently playing. So there were assignments that needed to be graded and inputted into Aeries to show what our grades were. So those were a couple of not-so-good staff that I had to deal with at CJHS. Still a good middle school though. It’s all water under the bridge now. I don’t think about it anymore.
Author’s Note: Damn, that was longer than I expected. I gotta that a break and I’ll be back.
14. What do you most look forward to? When I graduated from jr. high to high school. I looked forward to seeing my upperclassmen friends again. That was mostly what I thought about.
Now, I look forward to what new opportunities will arise for me. I’m actually finding too many opportunities that now, I have to be very careful and smart with what I yes to and what I say no to. So, let’s see what 2019 will have in store for us all. 🙂
15. What would you like to ‘pass down’ and to which sevie would you like to dedicate it to? I had some good sevies that I thought were cool and nice. Jack Sheridan, Chad Dollarhide, Ben Travers, Luke Neuhart, Geovanni (I don’t know his last name). We were all together in Leadership except for Geo. Geo and I were in Algebra-a together. Funny enough, Jack and I would become volleyball teammates together in high school.
16. What advice would I give to students going into Jr. high? Now that I’m 20… I would say, enjoy your youthfulness and childlike self as much as you can. The older you get, the more unwanted responsibilities you’ll start to have. And pretty soon those responsibilities will change your mindset more into adults. You’re at that age where you naively think you know about most things in life. But the reality is that you still have so much more to learn and understand. Some will be more experienced, educated, mature, or wiser than others and that’s fine. In, general everyone still has a lot to learn about.
17. What elective are you taking next year? I didn’t get into Student Government which I was saddened about. But little did I know, Choir was the best elective available at CHS. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Then to have choir as freshmen.
18. What are you most hopeful about? I wrote homework/ relationships…
Homework – I wanted to be more efficient and diligent when I worked on my homework. So I wanted to improve the way how I approached my homework and how I completed them.
Relationships – I don’t know why but I really wanted to experience what having a girlfriend would be like. Or being in that type of relationship would be like. It was only wishful thinking though. I ended up going through high school without getting into a serious relationship. I thought about it from time to time… But overall, I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship yet. I wanted to improve myself to the point where I feel confident enough to get into a relationship. And that is still my mindset now.
19. What is your biggest worry/concern about in high school? Yeah… So… I was worried about my boners. mainly because I had so many boners during jr. high that I thought it would only get worse or increase in high school. It’s not like I had an irregular amount of boners per day. but like the times when I had them were terrible timing. It would always be like towards the end of class when I would get boners. Which meant that everyone would have to get up and get out of class and walk over to their next class. And I would usually be the slow person that would get up only after everyone has left besides the teacher. And no, I didn’t get boners because I was perverted. I got them because they were natural. Just bad timing. The worse was always before lunch. I was sitting down. I would be the last person to get lunch that day. They would last for like 30 seconds – 1 minute. I know, quite embarrassing. Don’t worry, I had to deal with that until like the end of my freshmen year. That’s when it got better. And not be horrible timing.
My biggest worry about high school now. I would say it’s trying to stay motivated throughout high school. I know it may sound easy. But I can definitely say that motivation has a lot to do with whether a student will finish high school or not. Most people get through high school somehow. Students just have to find whatever that motivation is to continue to get through high school. By the time most students get to their senior year, they’re pretty much done with the whole idea of school (unless they’re trying to go to college). Everyone else is ready to finish high school and be done with education forever.
20. What is your biggest worry/concern about life? Getting to marry my crush. Wow, younger Manting. No that’s not your biggest worry. At this point in my life, I’m more concerned about what my future will be like. Global warming, climate change, advancement of technology, increase in population, and the rising cost of raising a family. It worries me if I’ll be able to have a family and support them. Plus, if we’re even going to be alive in 20, 30, or 40 years from now. We fucked up the Earth so bad, we’re endangered now.
21. What advice can you give to incoming seventh graders to help them be successful next year? Don’t Give Up!
Wow, I actually gave good advice. Don’t give up on school and don’t procrastinate. And that can be applied to life as well.
22. What advice do you give next year’s eighth graders? Don’t have sex!
I still agree with this. I definitely think jr. high students are much too young to start having sex. During my eighth-grade graduation, one of my classmates walked the stage and she was pregnant. I was so surprised like… You’re the same age as me and you’re pregnant already? That’s… wow… I would not want to be in that situation.
Whether people want to admit it or not, I would say about 60 – 70% of students lose their virginity during high school. I know that in my graduating class, about 80% of us already lost our virginity already. I’m not going to disclose which percent I’m in, you can assume what you want. It would make sense too, that’s the age when you start to explore your sexuality. And the rumors about ‘this student doing this with that student’ were usually 90% true. It seemed like more students were focused on relationships and alcohol/ drug substances than actually learning at my high school.
23. What do you expect high school to be like? Hard as fuck!
I wasn’t too wrong. It was difficult but only at that time. Looking back on it, it wasn’t anything too difficult. I think it was a bit difficult due to all the stress we have at that stage of our life. Puberty, school work, work (if you did), relationships, sports, grades, depression, not knowing what to do after high school, etc.
24. What goal have you set for yourself to be accomplished in the next year? Lose weight.
Yes, that is still a goal I have to this day. Haven’t done too well on it. Throughout high school, I was always between 160 – 167. I never gained or lose weight and passed those measurements until I got into college. I use to be skinny and slim until my third-grade year in elementary. After I had come back from Las Vegas over the summer, I noticed I gained hella weight. Ever since then, I’ve always been chubby/ fat.
Now I’m at 172 lbs. I would like it if one day I could lose enough lbs. to be around the 150s. I don’t want to make that a New Year’s resolution because I just don’t have the time for it. But I would like to at least, drop back down to 160’s. And then focus on dropping down to the 150s.
25. What goal have you set for yourself to be accomplished in the next four years? Get a girlfriend. Wow, umm. It never happened. I pretty much answered this question earlier with question #17. And here it is again if you forgot. [I don’t know why but I really wanted to experience what having a girlfriend would be like. Or being in that type of relationship would be like. It was only wishful thinking though. I ended up going through high school without getting into a serious relationship. I thought about it from time to time… But overall, I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship yet. I wanted to improve myself to the point where I feel confident enough to get into a relationship. And that is still my mindset now.]
26. What is the most serious thing that happened to you this year and how did you overcome it? Me during eighth grade, trying to acquire the necessary amount of community service hours was difficult for me. I didn’t know where I could find the opportunities to get these community service hours. Mr. Wahl was very helpful but aside from him and his insight. I pretty much didn’t know where and how to find the opportunities to complete this assignment. I was able to complete it and have an enjoyable time with it. Looking back on it… There were more than enough opportunities that soon arose and I never had too much of a hard time with it.
27. What advice do you give yourself? Don’t Fuck Up.
Or simply, don’t mess up in life. But that’s a really difficult thing not to do. So, that advice to myself now is invalid.
Being older and experiencing more interesting things in life. The advice I would give to my younger self, it would be. Try to be more confident in the things you do in life. I say this because, throughout high school, I had different levels of confidence. Being confident in what you’re doing, whether it’s sports, arts, school, work, etc. If you feel confident in what you’re doing. That will improve your mood, mindset, and your will/ motivation. And all of that contributes to loving yourself. And love who you are. It’s easier said than done. Because one little or small thing can always derail your confidence. There were times during high school, I just felt so confident in my abilities that I felt like I could do no wrong. And then there were days when I felt so low and doubtful about my ability that it would put me in a gloomy mood all day. This is still something that I’m working on with myself as well. It’s going to be a work in progress throughout my life. So, I don’t think I’ll be able to solve this ‘thing’ anytime soon.
28. What value is the most important to you and why? Obviously, I didn’t understand what the question was asking. Let’s see… the most important value to me… I would say, having a good moral compass. And that could be very broad but making the right decisions. A natural feeling that makes people know what is right and wrong and how they should behave. I believe I have a strong moral compass but some other people might disagree with that. And sometimes it’s difficult to judge if this is the morally correct choice or not. One decision could be viewed as the morally correct choice for one person, and for another person that choice is the immoral choice. And vice versa.
29. What is one thing you secretly wish for? Yes, to be rich.
And some people might be viewing this as me being a materialistic person. Which, I’m not. But I do want to be rich one day. And experience the extravagant lifestyle. Where money ISN’T an issue. Because rich people would always say, “Money doesn’t buy happiness.” I would disagree with that. Because growing up dirt poor. Being rich was one of the many things you would’ve dreamed about. I think there are very different perspectives and mindsets for two individuals to become wealthy. The mindset of someone who has been dirt poor their entire life, and then be rich. Would be completely different from someone who was already born into that wealthy lifestyle.
30. What advice can you offer teachers? Be more open-minded to a student’s question(s) or situation. As someone who is trying to become a future teacher. I’m trying to break down that ‘barrier’ between students and teachers/ professors. Some teachers and professors demand you to have honorifics when you address them. And I think that is complete bs. Why should I give you respect just because you have a title under your name? Respect is earned, not given. If you’re a teacher and you do a shitty job at teaching, why should I continue to give you respect when you’re incompetent at your job? I wish students and teachers would view each other more as human beings rather than seeing each other as ‘teachers’ and ‘students’.
31. What advice can you offer parents? I’m just going to skip this question. My view on parents is very complicated so if you’re genuinely interested. You can me and I’ll answer it then.
32. What brings you joy? See her smile every day… Wow, if that isn’t one of the corniest things to ever say. What brings me joy is to be around people with similar mindsets and people who you can really connect with. It sounds easy, like oh you can connect just about with anyone. But I’m a lot happier now in college than I was in high school and that has a lot to do with the people I hang out with.
It also brings me joy in seeing how my actions have positively impacted someone’s life. I don’t view myself as an inspirational person or a role model. Not because I don’t believe I am those things. Because I do. I do know I’m an inspirational person and a positive role model. The reason why I deny those things is because once I start seeing something as ‘it’s special’ or ‘I’m special.’ Then I start to lose the humility that comes with it. And I’ll flex once or twice when the time comes and I achieve success. But until then, I want to remain humble about my success so far and the little things I’ve achieved so far. I really believe in these three things. You’re never too popular, famous, wealthy, or important to be nice, kind, and humble.
33. What do you know for sure? Some people are little bitches.. It’s still true… Don’t see a problem with it. Maybe changing the last word would be good though.
34. Describe yourself in the year 2017. I think I’ve already answered this question with another post. Click this link if you want to find out. ———> High School Journey Hopefully, I’ll be slimmer and handsome in 2020. 😀 And hopefully I’ll have gained some new skills and experience new things.
Special: Yeah… I had a crush on two girls in my eighth-grade year. They were Sadie Pressman and Hayley Colwes. Once I got into high school though. I didn’t like them anymore. I moved on and just didn’t have any feelings for them anymore. Plain and simple, nothing more nothing less.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello I wrote this poem in my ENGL 220W class during college. My inspiration for this poem is from my passion for volleyball and from the anime Haikyuu. To make the imagery more clear while you’re reading the poem. Image a volleyball player floating up to spike a ball. When people hear or read the phrase ‘The view from the summit’ they often think about the view from an actual mountain/ summit. But the view from the summit that I’m trying to make others see is the view when the spiker’s head is above the net. And they see the other side from the very top. Hopefully, that will make things more clear. Enjoy!
1 Minute Read
Time slows down, almost to a stop. Surprised white eyes stare with intense curiosity. As I walk onto the court, human iron walls enter as well. The gigantic iron walls are blocking my view. Like flies and mosquitoes, they loom and appear constantly. Daylight sneaks through those iron walls like cracked windows. Black thin strings isolate me from my fear. Slowly, I fly higher than the tall and long white tape. The red and white warn me from getting near. It is drawn to me, like a magnet. And leaves me with its past emotions. I see it fly away with determination and fear. The top lights up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. It ends quickly and sets up for another round. The view from the summit doesn’t discriminate, all can reach it.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello. This was a persona piece I wrote in my ENGL 220W class in college. It’s about the life, feelings, and journey of a volleyball or in general any ball. Ummm… I didn’t try to make it sexual in any way but it could sound like it. Just know I had no intention to make this sound sexual. Hopefully, you’ll enjoy this.
1 Minute Read
They don’t appreciate me. To them, I’m just a toy They play with it when they’re bored. I fly wherever they hit me Towards with their hard hands. If I don’t cooperate, they also kick me with their stinking feet. But some hands are soft. They gently push me forward And I float lightly to the other side. Eventually, I will deflate And I won’t be needed no more. That’s the sad life of a ball.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello! This was a writing assignment I had in my college English class; ENGL 220W. Quick story about life and how the younger us had a simpler life. I also had a friend who wrote a piece about eating rice and I gained inspiration from them for this. Enjoy!
4 Minutes Read
Laying on the soft yet stiff bed, I burned with the feeling of wanting to leave. My body didn’t cooperate with my mind. And thus, I lie still on my bed patiently waiting. My green childhood blanket next to me gave me extra warmth. I always remember when I was sick, the number one food that I had to consume was, rice porridge.
Something so slimy and bland never tasted so good. Rice by itself is already bland, combining it with water too? An indescribable taste. No energy was needed to chew the soft jasmine rice. You could swallow the hot gooeyness of the porridge and you’ll still be fine.
The bowl of hot and steamy rice porridge sitting on top of the counter next to me. Its presence gave me a sense of comfort. I bring it slowly towards me and rest it on top of my lap. My warm body welcomes the warmth from the bowl of rice porridge as I scoop a spoonful into my mouth.
I move it back and forth from left to right to cool down the rice porridge as much as possible before I swallowed. Taking in a sigh of relief for not burning myself. I go back in for a second spoonful and repeat the sequence until I finished the bowl.
I never really understood why my fellow classmates in elementary would tell me that when they were sick. They would eat a bowl of chicken noodle soup instead of rice porridge. Slowly, as I grew up and got more educated. I realized that I wasn’t privileged enough for ‘chicken noodle soup.’ Later in life, I tried it once and I was very disappointed. “This is what you eat to get better?!” was my first initial reaction. I decided to stick with rice porridge as my cure food for my sick days.
Sitting outside in the hot summer heat. I ate my lunch. A bowl of rice and ice water or water rice with a tiny slice of watermelon. The coldness from the icy water rice radiating from the porcelain bowl. My small hands hold the bowl tightly afraid that I’ll drop it. After each spoonful of icy water rice, I nimble a little bit from the tiny slice of watermelon. The taste of the sweet red meat of the watermelon fruit lingers on my tongue after I swallow. Once again, I repeat the same steps until I finished my bowl of icy water rice and the tiny slice of watermelon was gone.
I’m not sure if I’m the only person that feels this way but I get both happy and sad after I finish eating something. I feel happy and grateful because I was able to eat something and not have my stomach empty. But I also feel sad because after eating the food I have. I don’t have it anymore. I don’t really know when or why I developed these types of feelings. Maybe it’s from my upbringing in an underprivileged family. For me that has made my relationship with food different because I’m more grateful for what I have and the amount of food I eat.
I kinda miss those days. The simpler days of just sitting outside eating a bowl of icy water rice in the summer heat or on a cold rainy day, eating a bowl of hot and gooey rice porridge. They were way simpler than today. Less stress, fewer worries, fewer problems, and more happiness maybe? I miss them, but then I think of my childhood as a whole. And I’m reminded that I’m in a better place now. But I’ll still have those bowls of icy water rice and hot rice porridge once in a while.
It’s simple. Three scoops of hot steamy rice into the porcelain bowl. One for myself. One for my ancestors. And one for the ones who aren’t here anymore. Let the rice sit for a couple minutes to cool down. While the rice is cooling down. Take a water bottle out of the freezer. Hit it once a bit hard but not too hard to create a reaction that freezes the water. Carefully pour the icy water over the cool downed rice. Once the water reaches the top and barely passes over a few grains of rice, stop pouring. Grab yourself a spoon and enjoy. See, it’s simple. Like the simple days of life.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello there. I’m an EOP (Educational Opportunity Program) student at CSU, Chico. As an EOP student, I was given an opportunity to go live in the dorms at CSU, Chico with my other EOP peers in my incoming class for two weeks during the summer. We were given some homework assignments before coming to the dorms. I wanted to get it done quickly so I sent my assignment in two days early before the program started. Surprisingly, my professor, Kim emailed me and said that I was the first person to send my assignment to her. If you’ve read my paper; High School Journey. I reused a portion of it in this paper because the topic we were given to write about is related to each other. Enjoy!
5 Minutes Read
Manting Xiong EOP Summer Bridge 13 June 2017
Who is Manting Xiong?
Hi, I’m Manting Xiong! If you don’t know me that’s unfortunate. If you do know me I’m sorry. I’m sorry if I ever hurt you in the past, present, or future. And if you haven’t met me, well I’m a very generous, loving, caring, understanding, and genuine person. Of course, there are my flaws; like my stuttering and other things that I won’t mention for now. Most of the time I’m an easy-going person. That’s probably why sometimes people don’t take me seriously.
I believe that I really am a selfless person, ninety-five percent of the time I would prioritize another person’s wellbeing instead of mine. Now you are probably asking why? What benefits do you get from that? Doesn’t that leave you able to be used and harmed? I do it because that’s just the type of person I am. This is ironic considering my father isn’t the greatest of people and practically grew up without one even though he was around the house. My mother, well my first time ever getting to see her in person was during the summer after my freshmen year.
What little information I could gather after visiting her, made the idea of me being nice, a little less ironic. To answer the second question above, yes it did leave me in a vulnerable place to be used and potentially be harmed, you may think that I am lying but I couldn’t care less. Of course, I won’t help you anymore if you break my trust or did something that I didn’t like and I won’t be someone who you could rely on. But I said that I couldn’t care less because there once comes a point when you’ve been hurt so many times that it sorts of becomes normal. You may be thinking, what in the heck are you talking about? Trust me on this, I’m going to turn nineteen in less than twenty days. During these short eighteen years that I’ve lived through, I experienced things that would make a person kill themselves to stop the pain and end the struggle that they must deal with constantly.
Now I understand that everybody has a different type of struggle that they must go through and that’s reasonable. You may be thinking, what in the heck are you talking about? Trust me on this, I’m going to turn nineteen in less than twenty days. During these short eighteen years that I’ve lived through, I experienced things that would make a person kill themselves to stop the pain and end the struggle that they must deal with constantly. Now I understand that everybody has a different type of struggle that they must go through and that’s reasonable.
I too, like many others when believing that their own struggle was unique and different. Having experienced many negative things at an earlier age, it really made my mind mature faster than my body, age, and the people around me. Those negative experiences took me to a very dark place that no one should ever go to. This is what you don’t see when you first look at me. But enough of this, the mood is starting to get too sulky and unwanted.
How will I impact Chico State? I don’t believe that I’ll do anything that will impact Chico State. Or this is just me being humble but I honestly won’t do anything special. I plan to go study abroad but that’s been done before at Chico State. I do plan to graduate in four years but that’s not special. At Chico High, I was picked as one of the students to receive an award for who teachers have recommended students that they deem have been a positive impact on the staff or the school.
And I am very grateful for that, never thought that I would receive an award for being nice. But I don’t think that what I did in high school will translate to Chico State in any significant way because they are thousands of students here, and the biggest difference between this and high school is that we are in college, now think about it and really let that set in. Here at Chico State, I won’t be the most artistic person, won’t be the best player on the court, nor will I be the best singer, not to mention not even one of the smartest students in my incoming class. I will just be a “regular” student who didn’t want to disappoint himself, his peers, or his teachers. What I would consider someone as an impactful individual is someone who will be remembered for a very long time. Most students will be forgotten by their teachers, I’m just like them, after a short period of time everyone will be forgotten, and the only ones who will be remembered are the impactful ones.
How will Chico State impact me? The one thing I do know is that coming here will help me find out more about myself that I don’t currently know, and help me in my pursuit of my goals. So that’s Manting Xiong, a Hmong-American boy born in Concord, North Carolina but raised in Chico, California.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
Author’s Note: Hello and thank you for choosing to read this. This was an assignment I had to present and perform in my Speech and Debate class during my senior year of high school. Thematic – having or relating to subjects or a particular subject. When I was completing this assignment, I knew I wanted my subject to be deep and moving. And since I was going to graduate, the topic of farewell messages came to my mind. Within this assignment, I used Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso’s Kaori Letter, Uncontrollably Fond’s Shin Joon Young Future Video, Descendents of the Sun’s Yoo Shi Jin Will, and Running Man’s Goodbye Letters to Kang Gary as my examples. To be honest, when I was performing this in my class, I also cried too because I began to get into my feelings. Anyways enjoy!
15 Minutes Read
Manting Xiong Goldmann Speech and Debate 9 November 2016
Thematic Interpretation: Farewell Messages
I apologize beforehand, my theme might bring you unwanted feelings or mood changes.
Introduction: There is without a doubt that you will experience a tragic loss of a loved one in your lifetime. There’s no other way to get around it; everyone dies for various reasons, some are reckless and they die young, or you grow old and slowly fade away. The loss of a loved one could be someone who inspired you, it could be a role model, your best friend, a family member, basically anyone that is important to you. We all know that sooner or later the inevitable will come for all of us. There are a lot of stages in the event of losing a loved one. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. But I don’t believe that those are the most important part of losing a loved one. It’s the unexpected and unwanted news that is told to you, but through all of that, they somehow manage to still provide you with a gift that they leave for you. The letter, video, or will that they record to be given to a particular person. Sometimes it’s not them who are saying goodbye to you, it’s you having to say goodbye to them.
– Title of Piece: Kaori’s Confession Letter
Dear Arima Kousei,
It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with…
You’re the worst.
Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.
The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in.
The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour palette. The melodies danced.
The girl next to me started crying. I wasn’t expecting that at all.
And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people’s lives. You’re the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.
(Cut to Kaori as a kid, telling her parents she’s giving up piano for violin because she wants Kousei to play again.)
When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I’d hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar. I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn’t really any space in there for someone like me.
When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I’d hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar. I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn’t really any space in there for someone like me.
When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn’t get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body.
One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out.
That’s when I ran away. I didn’t want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do. I wasn’t scared anymore to get contact lenses. I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight. And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted.
And then I told a lie. Just one. I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta.
And that lie brought you to me.
Please apologize to Watari for me… though I’m sure he’s forgotten me by now I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him. I think we’d be fine as friends though.
And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too. I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us. I don’t think she would’ve had an answer for me. After all, she was in love with you. We all knew that. I think the only people who didn’t know were you and her. That underhanded lie brought me to you didn’t work out the way I had imagined.
It was darker. And meaner. And denser. And more stubborn. And more perverted.
And softer. And more masculine. And sweet.
Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing. Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win. The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun. Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We’re awful singers. At the school at night. I’m still sure there was something there. The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms.
It’s strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage They’re unforgettable scenes to me. But they’re such little things. It’s weird, isn’t it?
What do you think? Do you think I made it into anyone’s heart like that? I wonder if I made it into yours. I wonder if you’ll still remember me.
If you forget me, I’ll just come back and.. No, I don’t want to start over. Please don’t forget me. Promise me you won’t forget me.
I’m glad it was you.
I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei.
I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m sorry we couldn’t eat all those canelés. I’m sorry I hit you so much. I’m sorry I was so selfish.
I’m so, so, so, so sorry.
Thank you for everything.
Miyazono Kaori
Transition #1:The significance of this piece is the fact that when you have something important to say to that person, say it. You never know when that person is going to be gone from your life. You never know how much you impacted their life. Kaori decided to keep everything inside and not reveal her true feelings for Kousei. She lied to him, and we all know that we were taught at a young age to not lie. But a lie could always be better than the truth… right? Kaori helped Kousei regain his ability to play the piano again, and for that, she was satisfied. These types of confession letters are “killers,” “no pun intended”, but these serve a greater purpose. These types of letters let you know how they truly felt about you. Not all farewell messages are happy, some are made to reassure their loved ones that they were happy til the end.
– Title of Piece: Shin Joon Young’s Future Video
This is Shin Joon Young.
Um well, a few months ago I received word from a doctor that I don’t have much more time to live.
I was shocked but…
I mean, everyone dies eventually.
The thing I’m most worried about is that people that I love will think I was miserable in my last days.
I was truly happy.
And…
I was able to enjoy a lovely time. In some ways, realizing how finite one’s time is…
That it reveals truths that one has kept buried within them.
This illness is a blessing that granted me courage.
The doctor told me I have three months to live. Yesterday was the last day the doctor said that I would live to.
If you’re watching this video, I am alive?
Also what kind of life is the woman that I love, No Eul, is living now?
Transition #2: For those of you who don’t know what finite means, it’s having limits or bounds. Shin Joon Young was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He kept this secret from the people he loved the most until his final moments. For the most part, people usually assume that when a person is living the final days of their life, they may tend to think that, that person is probably really sad. He wanted his family and loved ones to know that he died happily. That the time Joon Young had left, he used them wisely. But now you bring in the what ifs… What if a person was perfectly fine, but couldn’t keep their promise of not dying? Will it still be ok, if they died in the line of duty? Some farewell letters maybe that person’s last will.
– Title of Piece: Yoo Shi Jin’s Will
Before we go on a mission, we write a will.
In the end, I hoped this letter would not find its way to you.
I haven’t kept my promise, my promise for you not to be worried, the promise to not be hurt, the promise not to die, and the promise that I would come back for sure.
Before we go on a mission, we write a will.
In the end, I hoped this letter would not find its way to you.
I haven’t kept my promise, my promise for you not to be worried, the promise to not be hurt, the promise not to die, and the promise that I would come back for sure.
I haven’t kept any of those promises, I’m sorry. In the place that you are, it is always bright.
I met you and I loved you. And for being apart from you, I’m really sorry for that.
I know that it’s shameless, but I’d like you not to cry for too long.
More than anyone else, you have to live well and brightly.
And don’t remember me for too long, I am asking for a favor.
Transition #3: Yoo Shi Jin died in the line of duty. Serving his country with pride, while keeping a promise. Some promises can’t be kept to the end. And he understood that, and with his unselfish personality. Shi Jin wanted his girlfriend not to mourn for him for too long. But losing someone doesn’t mean that they have to necessarily have to die. Now let’s move on to something more relatable. I’m guessing that all of you have best friends correct? “Show of hands please if you have a best friend”? “How many years have you been friends with your best friends”? “You’re basically family right”? “Thank you”. After many years of being together your best friend suddenly tells you that they want to pursue their passion. And they will be leaving to pursue that passion. How will you respond to that?
– Title of Piece: Goodbye Letters to Kang Gary
I will only be using 2 of the 6 letters instead of all 6. *Letters that are going to be used.
*Lee Kwang Soo’s Letter: (Male) Dear Gary hyung, I still can’t believe that you’re leaving. I regret that I haven’t expressed enough of my gratitude and apologies to you. I won’t get to see you every Monday from now on, but we’re already a family. I’ll call you more and I hope that we see each other more often. Dear Gary hyung, thank you so much. I love you forever.” – Kwang Soo
Kim Jong Kook’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, you know how I feel. It’s so difficult to write a letter like this to you. You worked hard for a long time. Stay healthy. Good luck in everything you do. We’ll still see each other, so let’s not be sad. I bought you a face massager so use it and become handsome. I hope you will transform.” – Jong Kook
Ji Suk Jin’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, I still can’t believe it. During the last seven years, we talked about many things. We shared a room together during mud games and waited for our turns to shower. On one hand, I was angry when I heard that you’re quitting, but I also understood you, so I was confused about what I felt. I’ll have to respect your wish. I love you, Gary.” – Suk Jin
Ha Dong Hoon’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, I can’t believe it. When the ratings weren’t that high in the beginning of Running Man, we spent the night at Han River. We prayed for things to turn out well at my house. We rolled on the floor laughing. I miss the times when we dreamed while drinking soju. I hope you’ll be healthy and have a wonderful family after you get married. Let’s grow old together. I love you. From Haha who’s more handsome than you.” – Haha
Yoo Jae Suk’s Letter: (Male) “Gary, it’s been seven years since we’ve been on Running Man together. Gary, I’ll think of you during next week’s recording. As I know what you want to achieve in the future, the other members and I support you in all your endeavors. Call me any time you want to be back on a variety show. Ok Gary? See you. It’s too embarrassing for me to continue, so I’ll stop here. See you again. I’ll call you. You did a good job.” – Jae Suk
*Song JI Hyo: (Female) “Gary, Gary, Gary oppa, this is Ji Hyo. I was very shocked when I heard that you’re leaving, so I was in a daze for a few days. I took for granted that until the very end, which we don’t know when, all of us would stay on this show. Perhaps, I was lost in that belief. I was upset and cried, but now that I think about it, I realized how difficult it must have been for you to make such a decision. I’m sorry about the things that I didn’t know about. I felt bad thinking about how hard it must have been for you. Now that you won’t be where you always used to be for the last seven years, I’ll feel sad and lonely, but I’ll stay strong. If you miss us too much, come back any time. No one can fill your place where you’ve been for the last seven years, so I’ll leave it for you.” – Ji Hyo
Transition #4: Kang Gary has been on the South Korean variety show Running Man for the past seven years. He devoted his heart and soul to the show. He has created unbreakable bonds with the other cast members. Though it wasn’t easy, he decided to leave the show so that he can further pursue his passion in music, respecting his decision, his cast members allowed him to leave the show.
Conclusion: When that time comes, when you lose someone who you care about, and they leave a gift for you, cherish it. Whatever it may be, it’s their last message for you. There are a lot of seniors in this class. We’ve gone through four years of high school. And that time is coming to an end. Soon, we will be the ones to say goodbye. Juniors, your time to say goodbye will also come. And when the time comes when you have to say goodbye to that person. Make it meaningful, and worthy of being a farewell message. Thank you.
Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.
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