Hmong Legacy: Stories From The Heart Spring 2019

April 30th, 2019

IMPORTANT: Skip the video to 21:05 because that is when I begin my performance. My third performance in Hmong Legacy. Before I go any further, I do have to warn you that the audio for the video DOES NOT WORK. Sadly, there was an audio issue so a good portion of the performance was not broadcasted. However, I still uploaded the piece and you can read it here! Tub Xeeb Ntxwv Manting

Hmong Legacy: Stories From The Heart Spring 2019

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Educational Opportunity Program – Paraprofessional Advisor

Fall 2020 – June 2023

20 Minutes Read

Description: Works with students participating in the EOP First-Year Experience program. Duties include working with a core group of students; advising on GE requirements, course scheduling, and disseminating information and basic knowledge of university policy and procedures; maintaining accurate records of student contact and academic progress; planning programs; and completing end-of-semester student file summaries. The Paraprofessional Advisor must possess the ability to work with minimal supervision and pay close attention to detail. Additionally, in cooperation with a staff member, paraprofessionals may develop and facilitate workshops.

DUTIES INCLUDE, but are not limited to the following:
– Assist in academic advising for first-year freshman students (Parapro)
– Assist in facilitating workshops
– Actively participate in all training and weekly staff meetings
– Refer students to services for any problem identified during contact
– Distribute and follow up on mid-semester progress evaluations
– Participate in student panels and presentations to large groups
– Facilitate or assist in planning large group activities
– Able to work flexible hours, including some required evenings and weekends
– Other duties as prescribed by your immediate supervisor

Year 1: 2020 – 2021

My Junior year was very eventful with plenty of growing pains and lessons learned. Entering my Senior year of college, I applied and got hired as a Paraprofessional Advisor for the Educational Opportunity Program. Before I go any further, just know that I have so much to say about this job. It’s probably gonna be a very long one. This is a position on campus that I always wanted after my Freshmen year of college because I had discovered that I really enjoy working in student mentor roles and supporting other students from similar backgrounds as me. Also, I want to give back to the program that helped supported, and shaped me during my college career. I felt confident when I had the interview for this position, mainly because I felt that my resume was strong and I also did very well answering the questions that were being asked to me. This job came with many responsibilities and also many components that I was looking forward to participating in.

One such component is the EOP Summer Bridge program, which is a transition program for invited EOP first-time freshmen. The program is designed to help students acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to build a bridge from high school to a successful college experience. While at Summer Bridge, the freshmen meet with mentors, experience university lectures, and attend a variety of workshops and presentations. Summer Bridge also is an opportunity for EOP participants to meet each other and the faculty and staff who will be assisting students in the fall. During Summer Bridge, freshmen will be able to finalize housing plans, complete financial aid files, and register for fall semester courses. Students will also attend workshops to help with their transition to the University.

Because I had come in as an EOP student and went through Summer Bridge, I wanted to experience that again but in a role where I would be able to help other students and begin building connections and relationships with the students prior to the academic year starting to accelerate the trust and familiarity between my students and me. Unfortunately, due to covid, I was never able to experience the Summer Bridge program in person as a paraprofessional advisor. We did have Summer Bridge virtually for the academic years of 2020-21 and 2021-22. Which, I think the EOP advisors did a great job at facilitating and having great advisors coming into Zoom and sharing about the resources on campus the students can use virtually to support them throughout the year.

This job has been a very good and positive experience so far and I hope it continues to be that way. My first year working in this position was very new and different because this was the year Covid-19 hit the U.S. and made many universities around the country transition from in-person learning to online. This also affected the EOP office in the same fashion as we converted our operations to online. This meant that for a whole academic year, I would be advising students via Zoom and online interactions only. After saying that, you could just imagine how difficult and how many questions came up in terms of how we as paraprofessional advisors would be effective support systems for our students.

Personally, I felt like my learning curve was a bit big in my first year in the position because I had to balance both a work mode and a school mode. Since we as parapros worked from home and used two laptops, it was very easy for me to just transition from school to work. However, transitioning from work to school was difficult because if I had an email come in, even during the times I was not scheduled to be working, I would work during those off hours. Which, I’m not getting paid for so why would I do that? I knew how scary and difficult it must be for our EOP students who come from a disadvantage compared to other students who aren’t first-generation, historically low-income, and have marginalized communities in their first year of college, and on top of that, it is virtual and the is a global pandemic still happening. So, I overworked myself in being as available to my students as possible because if there was one thing I wanted to say and be proud of myself for at the end of my first year working for EOP as a paraprofessional advisor is that, I was not going to be the reason why a student of mine failed. If I did everything within my abilities without overstepping my boundaries and my student was not able to be successful academically in our program, at least I can wash my hands and be content that I did all I could, and I can accept those results.

Year 2: 2021 – 2022

Now we are on to my fifth year of college. With that, I decided to accept EOP’s offer to be a returner and continue as a Paraprofessional Advisor. I was one of two returners coming back in the position. I still love the job and I felt like I haven’t gotten everything I wanted out of the job yet. The client group I had from my first year in the position are now sophomores so that meant I was no longer directly advising them. We had a new incoming EOP Freshmen cohort so it meant I will have a new client group. I was given a smaller amount of client group compared to my first year. I was also tasked with supporting my co-workers in their client groups. Whatever questions my colleagues had, they knew they can reach out to ask me. I was there to support both my client group and my colleagues.

With a smaller client group, it allowed me to focus more on each of my students. I remembered more about the details and little things they would share with me during our meetings. It felt very nice to do that because I felt the connection was developed quicker which made them want to meet with me more. Also, this was the first time that we were allowed to have in-person meetings because the university allowed students to come back to have in-person courses in a hybrid situation. Some of my students still met with me virtually as that was still an option in case they were uncomfortable being in person due to covid or just weren’t able to come in physically. The energy and connections I made with my students were so much better in person compared to my first year via Zoom.

When Spring 2022 rolled around, I began to feel the creeping feeling of being comfortable. I realized that I had become too good at my job, and I was scared I might become bored with it. I became really good at understanding the university’s policies in terms of grades, GPA, enrolling in courses, withdrawing from courses, and nearly all academic-related questions students had about their student center and degree progress report. Whatever academic plans my students wanted to implement or head towards, I had that on lock ready to help them get to where they wanted to go. With me becoming too good at my job, I wonder if I should come back to the position for a third time in the last year of my undergraduate career.

In my second year of this position as an EOP Paraprofessional Advisor, I continue to have amazing students I get to work with. These students are very impressive, and that is putting it lightly. The resilience they displayed throughout the academic year is something I will always remember. They came to college after spending part of their high school experience virtual and feeling douts of not being prepared for college and not being “college-ready.” It felt very rewarding to see the confidence these students began to accumulate as the academic year progressed and they found success in their spaces. I know that the success will continue to grow for them and I am excited to see where the future leads them.

Year 3: 2022 – 2023

EOP asked me to come back to the position as Lead Paraprofessional Advisor since I was the only returner who would be back with two years of experience. Although it sounds like a fancy title, it didn’t mean anything really. I was still paid the same as the rest of my colleagues and worked the same hours. I basically did the same thing I did last year but with a bigger client group and assisting my colleagues. I decided to come back because if this is the type of work I want to do after I graduate, I should not shy away from this and feel like I’m bored or tired of it after two years. I was determined to figure out how much I enjoyed mentoring and advising students. I would’ve just preferred if they wanted me back and didn’t apply any title to it. Coming into this position, it was also the first year we were able to have EOP’s Summer Bridge Program in person on campus since the Covid pandemic.

The last in-person Summer Bridge Program that EOP did was in 2019. Since 2019, the EOP office at Chico State has undergone a huge staff turnover. The team is really new, and most of the staff members are in their second year or first year in the EOP office. My previous boss also accepted a new position at UC Davis during this time, and he was the most senior member of the EOP staff aside from the Associate Director. What I’m trying to say is that Summer Bridge 2022 was the first time this new EOP staff team did it together. But what is Summer Bridge? Instead of explaining what it is, I’ll just go ahead and paste what is written on the EOP website.

The EOP Summer Bridge program is a transition program for invited EOP first-time freshmen. The program is designed to help students acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to build a bridge from high school to a successful college experience. While at Summer Bridge, the freshmen meet with mentors, experience university lectures, and attend a variety of workshops and presentations. Summer Bridge also is an opportunity for EOP participants to meet each other and the faculty and staff who will be assisting students in the fall. During Summer Bridge, freshmen will be able to finalize housing plans, complete financial aid files, and register for fall semester courses. Students will also attend workshops to help with their transition to the University.

The previous two years I’ve worked as a Paraprofessional Advisor, and we’ve had to conduct Summer Bridge online via Zoom. Summer Bridge is one of the best times for Paraprofessional Advisors to connect and develop bonds with their potential client groups so that when the academic year starts, students are already familiar and somewhat comfortable with their assigned parapro from the interactions they’ve had at Summer Bridge. Summer Bridge 2023 was very fun but it also presented a lot of challenges where you can see the inexperience of the staff come out. I do not hold animosity towards the EOP staff as it is their first time doing Summer Bridge in person again. I expected it to be a stressful job as all the Paraprofessionals worked as Resident Advisors during Summer Bridge. That meant we would be living with the students in the dorms and be on call 24/7. You would go to sleep around midnight and wake up around 5/6 AM to prepare for your wing meeting.

Your whole day would be packed from 7:00 AM until 8:00 PM. Highkey, the job of being an RA for Summer Bridge is an underpaid position. For the amount of work and bs that we had to deal with, the position does not pay enough. It’s a good amount of money for two weeks of work but man, it hits differently knowing that I put in more work compared to a few of my colleagues on the team. This was supposed to be a seven-person team but the majority of the time it felt like a 4-5 person team instead. Two of my colleagues were not pulling their weight and that severely stressed out and hindered the ability of the rest of the team. I think what didn’t help too was that the two colleagues that didn’t carry their weight were the favorites of the EOP staff. I think that irked me more than anything. I don’t mind favoritism, that’s to be expected, but if you’re going to play favorites, be subtle about it and favorite someone who will actually get their responsibilities and tasks done.

Summer Bridge builds character for everyone involved. Everyone comes out of Summer Bridge a stronger and more prepared individual for the upcoming academic year. Summer Bridge is filled with more positives than negatives but I would not recommend anyone to work this job of being an RA for Summer Bridge more than once. It is extremely draining and I do not believe most people’s sanity can endure it more than once. I didn’t feel quite as sad when Summer Bridge ended because I knew that I’ll see them a few months later when they come back when the academic year starts. Shout out to my colleagues that did their thing and kept us going during the tough times. You know who you are. I would not have made it through Summer Bridge without yall.

With Summer Bridge done, let’s talk about the actual academic year. I have to admit that this was my favorite client group out of the three years I worked this job. A huge reason is because of Summer Bridge, the bonds I already made with some of the people in my client group made it so much easier to connect and assist the students. Something cool about this client group too was that I had a few students who had majors that I haven’t advised before. That presented a new and fun challenge for me when it came to course selections and figuring out what would be the best route for what the student wanted. You know who you are lol. You kept me on my toes and it was always fun seeing you in the office. I had a great group of students that were academically driven and got involved early on campus. Their growth was quick and I was very impressed.

Honestly, being an EOP Parapro is such an emotional rollercoaster. You never know what you’re gonna get with the student coming in. But with every interaction I had with my past students and from this year, I am beyond grateful. It taught me a lot about myself and I learned a lot from my students too. One of the hardest parts about this job is when you weren’t successful in helping a student. Whether it is from them failing a course or deciding to withdraw from the university, it was hard to take that in. Because I would ask myself “Did I do enough?” And sometimes I try as much as I can and the result still wouldn’t be what I want.

Accepting we did all we can and being okay with that was very difficult. As much as I want the students to succeed and do well if they did not meet me halfway, I couldn’t fully help them. I had a lot of great students that made my job easy to manage and relieved a lot of stress. But whenever my students were stressed or in pain, I felt that too. I just hope that in some way, I was able to be a positive impact and influence on these students. They are amazing and they also motivated me throughout this year too. It’s sad this experience is ending because I know this will forever be something I will cherish for the rest of my days.

My client group for 2022 – 2023. Missing a few.

The students I had on the third floor of Sutter Hall for Summer Bridge 2022. Missing a few.

My students during Summer Bridge went above and beyond.

June 2023 – EOP Summer Bridge 2023 – Head Resident Advisor

Just as I thought my time working for the EOP Program had come to an end, I was offered to come back and work for them as Head Resident Advisor for their Summer Bridge Program. I was offered the position back in late March/early April. Honestly, I was hesitant from accepting the position. The trauma I endured from Summer Bridge 2022 still haunted me a little bit. I remember when I got done with Summer Bridge in 2022 I went home and was knocked out due to exhaustion. And then I took the next few just staying home and recovering. I would be going in with a new team that I did not know I could rely upon. I did not want to experience the same bs I endured last time where one-two colleague didn’t pull their weight.

I ended up accepting the position because of two reasons. The first reason is that I love this program and I want Summer Bridge to be a success for this next incoming EOP freshmen cohort. I know that I can get the job done and have it job the right way. I am the best person for the job and I’m not afraid to admit that. If I didn’t love this program and helping students, I would not have accepted this position. I already know it is underpaid and the potential for me to gain more money for being Head RA was very slim. The second reason is that I’ve always wanted to run and manage my own team. Even if I’m only semi in-charge of this team, this is still my team. Not many college graduates get the opportunity to manage their own team so quickly after graduating.

Going into this position, I kept more of an open mind and let things slide off of me. I didn’t let something that was unpleasant affect me as much this time around. If something didn’t go as planned, I just brushed it off. It helped my mind a lot to stay level-headed and sane during Summer Bridge. I was there to support the next team of Paraprofessionals but also I was assigned a group of students. I was assigned to the fifth floor of Estom Jamani Hall (formerly known as Sutter Hall), which is the top floor, and last year I was assigned to the third floor. I had a good team this year for Summer Bridge. For the most part, everyone did their job. A few of my colleagues slacked off here and there but it was still way better than last year. The only big concern I had throughout was that my team was not cohesive in agreeing to policies or ideas we had agreed upon to put in place and actually back up each RA’s floors. It felt divided and that caused problems throughout the program’s duration.

I dislike bashing on the partners and other departments we work with during Summer Bridge but I believe in transparency and letting others know how things are. Housing both years for Summer Bridge was ass and I’m putting it lightly. Numerous rooms had issues that should have been resolved or not even inspected. In both years, I had students who could not get into their rooms on the first few nights because they were issued the incorrect room key. Some rooms were still in winter setting so it blasted warm air instead of cool air. Keep in mind that it is during the summer and it is constantly high 90s and 100s outside as well. A few of my students had rooms where their room lights did not turn off so they had to sleep with it on. Essentially, housing just needs to get its shit together. There is a limit to encountering small inconveniences and then seeing that someone is incompetent in their job. After witnessing this twice in a row, I think it is the latter.

The program is only six/seven days but it is jam pack and everyone is busy. The job is both extremely exhausting and draining, that’s just the truth. But what makes it worth it are the connections and interactions I had with the students. Making sure the students are safe, comfortable, and having a positive experience was what mattered to me. It didn’t matter how I felt, I put the students first because I was in their exact same shoes and situation six years ago. They must have a glimmer of hope and reassurance that by the end of Summer Bridge, they can feel like they will succeed here at Chico State in the Fall semester. I know that whoever they go, they will do great, I just know it.

It is my last job working for EOP at Chico State, well at least for a while. I don’t know when I’ll have the opportunity to come back and work for this office. It is a bittersweet feeling. I cried a lot at the end of Summer Bridge knowing that this was it and that I probably won’t ever see these students again. I gave this program everything I had, took on more than I was supposed to, and still did a great job. I’m thankful for everything I learned and experienced from working with this office.

The EOP Summer Bridge RA Team with our Boss.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Educational Opportunity Program Summer Bridge – English Writing Mentor

Summer 2019

5 Minutes Read

Description: Under the direct supervision of the Summer Bridge English faculty, English mentors will work with a group of 8-12 students to help them better understand the writing process and provide feedback to improve their writing. English mentors promote independent learning and act as academic mentors and role models. English mentors must be prepared to complete 4-5 hours of training prior to the start of the EOP Summer Bridge Program.

After my time as an SI leader ended at the end of my Sophomore year (I was going to study abroad in South Korea so I couldn’t come back to that position in my Junior year of college), I was invited to work as an English Writing Mentor as part of the English component in the Educational Opportunity Program’s Summer Bridge Program. A little about the Summer Bridge program, EOP freshmen students who got accepted are invited to a mandatory 12-day program at CSU, Chico where they get a taste of what college is potentially like. So they have a packed schedule from 7:00 AM – 5:00PM/6:00 PM. English is one of the components they have to go to during the duration of Summer Bridge. I had to go through it when I was a freshman as well. So, if you think about it, the students we are assigned are fresh out of high school, as they just recently graduated like 3-5 days ago when the first day of Summer Bridge started. I know that was true in some cases for some of the people I met in my freshmen year.

Kim Jaxon and I first met when I came in as a freshman back in Summer Bridge 2017 and she was also my English professor I had in Spring 2018 as well. So, she’s familiar with me and the work I’ve put in since the start of my college career. Kim is a straight G (gangsta), super duper down to earth, empathetic but also takes no bullshit from students who are slacking. She has had a huge influence on me and my development in writing and falling in love with the pursuit of education. One funny thing that is always happening whenever Kim sees me is that she tries to convince me to switch majors from a History major to an English major. And as I am writing this in December of 2021, she has not stopped since 2017. Maybe she’ll stop once I graduate lol. She only slowed down on the frequency of asking me to switch when I finally picked up a Creative Writing minor back in the Fall of 2020. Thank you Kim for believing in me and pushing me to be better. Kim needed a few more students to fill in the position and she sent me an email and boom, I was on the team.

I have been blessed to have great students and this time it wasn’t any different. I remember my students were kinda shy on the first day but we had to share out the narrative paper they wrote before coming to Summer Bridge and seeing that they were a bit hesitant to share, I went ahead and shared my story first. There is this thing I learned from a mentor of mine about when it comes to sharing stories. “Share your scars but not your wounds. Your scars have healed and you are sharing it won’t reopen it. However, your wounds, are fresh and can be deepened even further, so it is not good to share your wounds. Wait until they are scars to share.” So, I shared my scars with my students and I believe that was when they were comfortable opening up to me and to each other. I feel like that set the tone and comfort level for my students and me. We became close and it felt really nice considering I was only with them for 1 hour and 30 minutes – 2 hours with them each day.

And for two years in a row with my summer jobs, I was pushed and coaxed into giving another spoken word performance to students. Kim asked me a few days before the last day we met up with the students if I wanted to give a spoken word performance on the last day. I initially said “No.” but after a few more encouragement from Kim and my coworkers, I ended up saying “Yes.” So, I gave my “Represent Represent” piece a few small revisions, and then on the last day with the students, I performed it for them. The reason why I decided to go with this piece was because I wanted the students to understand that coming to college and especially being in the EOP program, they will and are representing many things. They will represent their hometown, their ethnicity, their culture, their family, Chico State, and most importantly, they will represent EOP. So when they shine, the whole program shines. At the same time, I wanted to give them a real talk about how college is not for everyone as it will test them greatly in all capacities in life.

Overall, this experience was very fun and welcoming to have before I head into my Junior year studying abroad in Seoul, South Korea for Fall 2019. I improved even more with my interpersonal and intrapersonal skills with even better group management skills. Also, I was able to perform spoken word again in front of a huge audience (IMO) and that is always fun.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Student Learning Center (SLC) – Supplemental Instructions (SI) Leader

Fall 2018 – Spring 2019

6 Minutes Read

Description: Supplemental Instruction (SI) is an academic assistance program that utilizes peer-assisted study sessions to increase student success in historically difficult courses. SI sessions are held 3 to 4 times per week by an SI leader who has already mastered the course material in a specific course. SI sessions are held 3 to 4 times per week by an SI leader who has already mastered the course material in a specific course. The SI leader is faculty-recommended and extensively trained to facilitate group sessions where students can meet to compare notes, improve their understanding of course material, review and discuss difficult concepts, develop study strategies, and prepare for exams.

In my Sophomore year of college, I applied for my second official job where I got paid. This was also my second-ever job on campus. I thoroughly enjoyed my time working in this position because I know I learned so much and at the same time, I was able to positively impact a student’s life and experience in college. I was just so amazed at the growth I had at the end of my time working for the SI program at Chico State. I was able to work on developing lesson plans, presenting skills, public speaking, classroom management, and interpersonal and intrapersonal skills.

One thing that I come to learn about myself working in this position and specifically with this population is that I love working with students who have a background in being a first-generation, historically low-income, and minority background. I relate so much to what these students have endured and gone through and seeing their growth throughout the semester inspired me to continue with my education and future goals. There is something so rewarding about seeing how much my students have grown and how much they still thank me whenever they see me on campus. They continue to validate that my effort and caring nature have positively impacted their college experience for the better.

My work hours were great and it was worked around my school schedule so I rarely had any time conflicts between work and school. Plus, since it was an on-campus job, I could just go straight from class to work or work to class without a hassle. The pay was good too and I was able to make a bit of money that I both saved and used. I was finally able to start buying things that I needed and wanted besides using the money I received from financial aid. I did notice that in my Sophomore year, I started to gain a bit more weight because I was eating more due to bringing in a little income. It was probably stress eating as well.

The professors I provided SI for were Amy in the Fall and Tray in the Spring. Both professors were super easy and fun to work with. They made my job very easy because they would always provide me with good topics and subjects to cover each week and things I could focus on in my sessions to help the students. They always treated me with respect and worked with me in a manner that allowed my talent and passion to shine. I will share one thing from each class that I will always remember.

For Amy’s CMST 132 course, this semester was when the tragic Camp fire erupted and destroyed the town called Paradise a few hours above Chico. Many people in the area were affected and people escaping the fire needed help and assistance. For the last month of the semester, Amy decided that our class would adopt a few families that needed help and we were able to get donations from the community and create these Christmas bundles with supplies and goodies to help these families get back on their feet a little bit. Seeing the faces of Amy and my CMST students do good and work hard wrapping and transporting the supplies to the center to distribute to the families made me very warm and fuzzy inside especially seeing them make an impact early on in their college careers.

For Tray’s MCGS 155 course, Tray was my previous teacher so I was familiar with working with him and I knew his style of teaching. Tray keeps tabs on me from time to time and we still keep in touch because he is also a mentor of mine. He knew I had performed spoken word in various areas and that I went to APAHE back in my freshmen year (because I had to miss one of his classes to go). He wanted to incorporate my spoken word experience into his course as an assignment. So, he allowed me to develop that assignment and present it to him. It got APPROVED and it was later implemented later in the semester. I was super stoked to hear my students spit their game and story in class as each student was recorded and all the clips were combined into one long 10-minute highlight clip of all the students. I, unfortunately, will not be sharing it as those are stories that I will not expose y’alls to. Just know they all enjoyed the assignment and it was amazing and powerful hearing their story and upbringing. Thank you to all my students for being vulnerable and sharing. I also went and attached the assignment presentation below so y’all can see what I made for them.

I have also attached the student evaluations my students had to complete and give to me at the end of each semester as feedback for the SI leaders. I think if I were ever questioned if I am as genuine of a person as I say I am, I would just show this to those people. I care a lot about the things I do and I invest emotionally and physically into my work. My student’s heartfelt answers on the surveys attest to this. It also made me very proud and happy to see I was a good enough SI leader that some of my students from the Fall semester wanted to have me again in the Spring semester too! Safe to say, I was an amazing SI leader! Overall, this was a great experience that I was blessed with.

Fall 2018 – Manting Xiong – End of Semester Si Student Survey

Spring 2019 – Manting Xiong – End of Semester Si Student Survey

Copy of Hip Hop Identity Project

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Educational Talent Search/Butte College Summer Connections Program – Student Leader

Summer 2018

6 Minutes Read

My Freshmen year of college went by a blur and in the Spring, I decided to apply for the Student Leader position happening in the summer. Now we get to my first-ever job where I get paid! This experience is about my role as a student leader for CSU, Chico’s Educational Talent Search in collaboration with Butte College in their Summer Connections Program. So, we had two student leader teams from Chico State and Butte College and we got paired up and each group was in charge of 20-25 students. My group was the green group and we were in charge of the oldest students. There were many components to this job besides being good student role models and supervising our students. We also had to take the Clifton Strengths test, attend a week of learning about Leadership at Butte College’s Leadership Academy, and make an All About Me presentation that we presented and shared with the whole program. (I’ve attached that on the side as well below.)

Through all of that, I felt confident in my training and role heading into the program before I met my students. My students were all great (might be a bit biased), there was a good balance of active students and some students who were more shy which was perfectly fine. I think about them and this experience from time to time and wonder where they are now. They are more than likely done with high school now and hopefully, they decided to pursue college. I realized how close my students and I are when they started to tease and roast me during the last week and a half. I think that made them feel more comfortable talking and working with me and at times, I saw that they began to emulate my behavior.

This was very evident in what I scored on the Clifton Strengths test. It was my first time ever taking it and seeing my top five strengths, I knew immediately that those were correct and very present during that time of my life. The context wasn’t a given but after reading more about it, it just fits perfectly with my reasoning to become a History major that it made total sense. As Learner, I always loved the process of things in life rather than the result. I believe that the journey and experiences from that overcomes the final destination. Even if that journey was filled with some of the most painful and mournful moments of my life, I can not deny that there were many lessons I learned through it all. With Restorative and Responsibility, I know what I have to do and if I put my time and effort into it, most of the time, I complete it and resolve it. With Consistency, it is very difficult to do, to be at peak performance and continue to put my words into action and do what I said/set out to do. Being consistent in how I interact with everyone, my mannerisms, behaviors, and mindset. Something that has helped me in this strength is hearing someone say “Never judge someone by where they are, because you do not know how far they have come.”

This is a part of this job that I want to talk about, and that is when I was voluntold to perform a spoken word in front of the students by one of my supervisors. IT WAS NOT PLANNED! I REPEAT, IT WAS NOT PLANNED! But little did I know, it was the push I needed to accept that I loved the spoken word. I was so freaking nervous but once I got up on stage and spit my game, everything just flowed out of me and I just ran with it. I also attached a picture below of one of my coworkers who texted me about the spoken word I did. I think something special about Diana believing in me is that sometimes in life, all we need is that extra push by someone and we can shine and fulfill that potential that they see in us. Thank you, Diana and Aurora for pushing me to be even better!

Overall, I don’t think I could’ve gotten a better first-ever paid job, one filled with great teammates, kind supervisors, and a great working environment. I truly felt blessed by this experience and the lessons that I learned from this, I learned so much that it is difficult to unpack it all. I remember it was difficult for me to come to terms that the duration of the program was ending because I knew I would miss the interactions I had with everyone at my workplace. I think if someone is able to experience a job that they truly love and enjoy when it is time to leave, a sense of happiness and sorrow will appear as they reflect and reminisce about that experience. I did my best and seeing the kind words my supervisor said about my performance really showed me that I kindness, hard work, passion, and compassion can take a person far in life and enhance the experiences we encounter.

These are some of the thoughts my supervisor had about my performance as a student leader for the job.

All About Me Presentation – Summer Connection – Manting Xiong

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

July 10, 2023 0

Grateful

Author’s Note: This is a portfolio that I had to submit for my last assignment for my ENGL 420W – Advanced Poetry Writing class at CSU, Chico during my Spring 2021 semester. Below, you will find two poems and one letter to my younger self. For this submission, we had to use a photo or painting that we took/made to represent our title and the works we’ve produced this semester. But WordPress won’t let me publish it without a title so I decided to title it Grateful. Right below this author’s note is a photo of me because that is the photo I chose for my title. If you are reading this on your phone, please turn it sideways to landscape for the correct format! I hope you enjoy these!

8 Minutes Read

Photo Credits
Find them on Instagram
@pachiavangphotography

Let Me As You

Let me as you talk,
     sit next to you like kids at a playground whispering secrets we don’t want adults to hear
     as you make me forget all the Zoom calls from earlier today
     for your voice is the anthem of love I’ve been searching for.
Let me as you walk,
     thunderclap with joyous pride to see you achieve your goals
     as your amber light illuminate the darkest caves you venture into
     for the emerald tunnel you’ve built, is one I will die following.
Let me as you weep,
     let my sturdy shoulders be the soft pillow your head can rest on
     as the black tears from your light makeup drip down my tan arms
     carrying the emotions only those who have died inside can express.
Let me as you gasp in shock,
     kneel down on my violet bruised knee like I’ve practiced this all my life
     as I reveal the diamond ring kept hidden next to our bed this whole time
     for I’m about to ask one of the scariest questions in my life.
Let me as you sleep,
     put the little angels to bed as it has already been an hour since “30 more minutes please?”
     as I sing twinkle twinkle little star to them and get lost in their stares
     for they have eyes that sing the saddest songs with the happiest melodies.
Let me as you smile,
     tell you what you remind me the most about
     as I explain “You’re like choir to me”
     for when I sing I can’t be mad, it’s all love and positivity that I can’t resist it.
Let me as you fade away,
     bury you with the daisies you enjoyed the most
     as I will sit down next to your tombstone and tell you about how much the kids have grown
     for there are two types of pain in this world. One that shows our weaknesses and one that shows our strengths.
     I sincerely hope that tomorrow I can experience this wonderful dream again.

A Cry So Bad

Have you ever had a cry so bad, you didn’t know when the tears would stop?
 A cry where everything inside of you ached feverishly?
                one where your heart felt as if it would burst out of your chest
                as if the organs inside your body twisted and turn like wet clothes being wringed
                as you vomit from your eyes with enough tears to water the Mojave desert
                and cry loud enough to wake up the dead from 100 years ago.
 A cry where at the end you’re so exhausted that you drift off to a peaceful sleep
 on the wet pillow soaked in your grief and pain
 as you realize no matter how many bottles you empty,
 the tears will continue to flow deep like the pockets of millionaires
                and far like the Mekong River, sinking deeper and deeper. 
        A cry where you thought you had “move on”
 one where you’re reminded of the gaping wound still freshly exposed
 as your heart knows the lies you told it reassures “you’re in a new” phase now but the
                the wind reminds you that they have Spring allergies and the smell of coffee reminds you
                they like a white chocolate mocha with caramel syrup during Winter from Starbucks.
 A cry where you shed tears for yourself and the journey you undertook.
 one where you graduated and passed an influential phase of your life
                as you reflect on the experience you endured, shedding tears
                for the ones that are six feet under and the ones who never had the opportunity
                And you shed tears for the ones that gave you so much to remember.
Have you ever had a cry so bad, that it healed everything inside of you like a magic potion?
 I wish you will have that cry one day.
 one filled with validation of your neglected feelings and sincerity
 one filled with rallying cheers and bearhugs
 and especially, one filled with “thank yous and you’re welcome”
 with the people you’ve impacted and the ones that have impacted you.

Letter to a Poet – Manting Xiong

Dear Manting Xiong,

I read your poems “Let Me As You” and “A Cry So Bad” for my class for our final portfolio project. I want to start off by saying thank you for writing and sharing these pieces of poetry with the world. I’ve actually read all of your previous works and I really enjoyed the pieces you’ve written this semester for Jeanne’s Advanced Poetry course at Chico State. I know your WordPress audience will look forward to you sharing this with your writing collection.

I first want to talk to you about your cover photo. You chose a photo of yourself which I thought was pretty conceited of you but the more I thought about it, it does make sense why you chose that to represent your work for this semester. You kinda just closed your eyes and went with whatever worked for you. That goes for everything this semester, including the work you produced for this course. You pushed yourself to do even more this semester, 5 courses plus 20 hours as a student employee working two jobs and also participating in many side school activities as well. You pushed and pushed until you received a lecture reminding yourself to slow down and take it bit by bit. I think your eyes being closed is a perfect representation of how you’re feeling about this semester, not to mention the whole academic year.

With the less intentional and purposeful direction you set for yourself this semester in this course, I personally felt like your writing didn’t improve that much in this course. I think most importantly, what you took most out of all the materials you read this semester, was to have fun and just be present at the moment when you write. It sounds simple but you know this course was key in you being able to just have fun and relax in a lot of stressful situations. If you didn’t stay focused on just having fun and enjoying the course, I think this semester would have been even more stressful for you. So, I think Jeanne deserves to know how grateful you are to have had her as your professor now for the third time and just have read great works and pieces by new authors you’ve never heard or read before.

As I’ve begun to notice from last semester as well is that you will need to improve on your imagery work. I think it’ll be good to continue to read more poetry from authors with great imagery so you too can channel some good imagery into your pieces as well. Maybe check out that list you made from last year back in the Summer? In general, I think if you just keep up the practice of writing and producing but having a clearer vision of where you want to go and how to get there will greatly improve your writing.

You’re going to turn 23 soon on June 20th, so as a reminder even though you already know this, be diligent. Life and college (both undergrad and grad school) will be difficult so when times are tough, remember to be resilient. I hope you’ll not dwell on the mistakes too much. And if there are punishments that come with it, face it squarely and head-on. It’s like medicine, it’s not supposed to be enjoyable.

Thank you again, and rest up this summer!

Best,
One Month Away from 23 Manting Xiong

Sadly, WordPress has format restrictions on what it can do so the end product on here will look somewhat different from how I intentionally wanted it to be. So if there are some parts that don’t quite look in the right place, I apologize for that.

Hello, I would appreciate it if you would give me feedback on what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment or email me too! Thank you.

May 23, 2021 0